Moonrise
by Point of Reason
Summary: It's never just a sunset. It's also a moonrise. Post New Moon. Complete. Over 19,600 hits.
1. P R E F A C E

**DISCLAIMER: All recognized characters belong to Stephenie Meyer (may we all bow down in her greatness) others to me.**

**this preface can change if i decide to go somwhere else with the story.**

P R E F A C E

This was, without a doubt, the hardest decision that I had ever been forced to make. Perhaps the toughest resolve I would _ever_ have to consider. On the one hand, my pathetic excuse for a life couldn't get much worse. What did I have to lose? Taking the old man up on his offer could not ruin me any more than I already was. But on the other, if I didn't give him the benefit of the doubt, I could be destroyed. And if I were destroyed now, there would be no chance to change things. To make everything better. To fix things. Again.

The indecision ripped at my chest, pushing me one way and then yanking me the other. It felt like a human tug of war match and I was the rope. I raised a shaking hand, hesitantly, and reached forward to take the frail, papery hand that the ancient man before me extended.


	2. S T O R I E S

**i chose the song "What I've Done" by Linkin Park for this chapter's soundtrack. you'll know why once you read it, i guess.  
PLEASE let me know what you think. :)**

S T O R I E S

There are multitudes of people in Manhattan, New York. Not so many in Forks, Washington. I looked out my window, glumly, as the trees next to the road sped by. _Too fast…_ I thought vaguely. I was barely aware of where exactly I was. I just knew I was a few miles south of Forks. Forks and my new life were all mere minutes away. If the car's speed increased any more, the already too short minutes would become even less.

The sun promptly disappeared the moment the shiny, forest green Camry crossed the city lines into Forks. I looked to my left at the tired, brown eyes that gazed inquisitively back at me. My father, Charlie, who had driven in silence all the way from the airport in Port Angeles, now looked as though he were going to say something.

"Bella… how- how have you been?" His voice was tentative and cautious, as he looked at me out of the corner of his eye.

"The same." My answer was abrupt. It sounded sharp – even to me.

"Oh…" I watched his face fall, slightly. I should have felt guilty, he hadn't asked for this to happen, but I didn't. I just felt enraged. What had he expected? My lips were nowhere near loose these days. I hadn't wanted to talk to anyone in a very, very long time.

The last time I had seen Charlie his curly hair was brown with only a few gray strands and a receding hairline. He'd had a becoming, crinkly-eyed smile that made you feel welcome and warm and had worn a sheriff badge nearly everywhere he went – unless, of course he was fishing. He had been forty-three. I had been eighteen. I looked at Charlie, now. Charlie was… well, _old,_ to be blunt. It was bizarre to think of how much he had aged in the last eleven years. The creases around his eyes that had appeared whenever he'd smiled must have decided not to leave one day, because they were permanent wrinkles now. What was left of his hair was as white as my skin – which was as white as pure, untouched snow. He was fifty-four. I was, technically, eighteen.

I would remain eighteen for the rest of my existence – however long that might be. My skin would never tan – not that I could go into the sun – and I would never blush again. My eyes would reflect my appetite. If I were thirsty, they would be black. If I were not, the pupils would be smaller, showing more of my irises. They were red.

"It's so weird…" Charlie began, thoughtfully. "You look exactly the same as the last time I saw you…"

"Hmm…"

I was a vampire. Eleven years ago, I had made the transformation. Eleven years ago, I lost everything that ever mattered to me. Now, I was here to get it back. I didn't have time for small talk.

"You're sure the Cullens still live here?" I asked, gazing directly at my father, showing him that I was in complete control of my thirst.

Charlie winced under my stare. "Positive. They stay hidden most of the time. But one of them will come around asking if I've heard from you on occasion …"

I turned back to the window and realized we were pulling into Charlie's driveway.

"You don't mind if I go now, I hope." It wasn't a question. Whether he minded or not, I was here for one purpose: to get Edward back.

_Edward,_ I shuddered at the name. My sweet, sweet Edward. If it was the last thing I did, I would make this right.

"Go ahead, Bells," Charlie seemed to understand… to an extent.

I was already out of the car. I began to run, unable to contain my angst for a moment longer. It was easier to run now. I didn't have to be afraid of falling, and losing my breath wasn't a threat, either. My strides were now filled with an inhuman grace. I was fast, too, and a mere two minutes later I was jogging down the twisted driveway that ran to the Cullens' ominous, white house. I stopped halfway down the drive, gazing up at the yellow-lit windows, reminiscing. I would fix things. I had to. It was so much more important to fix things than to go on living. I would fix things, and, before you know it, my eyes would turn butterscotch and I could live with Edward again, and everything would be just as it always should have been.

"I can do this," I breathed to myself. I made up my mind and took a tentative step toward the house. I paused to take a shuddering breath. A breath that I hoped would filter in some confidence. It didn't.

I was about to turn around and give up when a steely voice, yet somehow a voice that still managed to sound like wind chimes, came from behind me.

"Bella?"

I whirled on my heel to face the speaker. Her eyes were narrowed and her jaw clenched. I stared at her for a moment, unsure of how _I_ should react to her hostile glare. Before I could decide, my mouth opened for me.

"Alice…" I whispered. I felt something like a lump form in my throat. I was sure that if I could cry, this would certainly be a time that tears would well up in my eyes.

"What the hell do you think you're doing here?" Alice's beautiful voice was full of hard disdain.

Even in her fury, I couldn't help but marvel at how unbearably beautiful Alice was. I hadn't seen her face in anything but my memories for eleven years, and it brought an uncanny feeling of warmth to me.

"What, you didn't see me coming?" I asked, a small, wry smile threatened to play across my face.

Alice had her own little window to the future. An uncommon gift – even for vampires.

Alice's lips twitched, but only slightly and not for longer than half a second before she fixed her glare back.

"No, actually, I've tried to keep you blocked out of my sight. What are you doing here, Bella? You _know_ this town isn't big enough for any more vampires," her lips curled back around her teeth to show she was serious.

I worked to keep my face blank, wiped of emotion.

"I… I came…" I stuttered – something I hadn't done in a long time.

I noticed Alice's eyes relax ever so slightly – a change, which only someone as close to her as I had once been would notice. The subtle, unexpected gesture reeled in the confidence that the breath of air had not. I continued.

"I came back. Alice… I want to fix things. I don't want to be a monster anymore; I want to civilize myself," I practically breathed.

Alice's narrowed eyes relaxed further and her jaw unclenched. Her eyes were still hard, but with more acceptance than when I had first turned around. Their honey color seemed to bore into me, searching for any lie I might have let slip out of my mouth, raking my harsh, burgundy irises for the falter of my expression.

She didn't see anything.

There was nothing to see – I was being utterly honest.

"Why the sudden change of heart?" She quizzed, "No pun intended…"

A brief smile flickered across both our faces, but at the same time, they vanished as quick as they'd come. I'd forgotten how easy it was to love Alice.

I had a short flashback as I considered my answer and shuddered at the memories.

"I've seen t-terrible things…" I stuttered again, and quivered at the memory of the stories I had come to tell. It was genuine remorse, and Alice could tell.

"Well… why don't you come in?" Her voice was much softer now – it seemed to be lined with cotton instead of steel. "Emmett and Rosalie are in Denali with Tanya's family for the week, but everyone else is here…"

Everyone else.

She seemed to know what I was thinking.

"But… a lot's changed since you left, Bella. A lot. Fair warning."

Her words mixed with the pity in her eyes terrified me.

"Okay," I responded, "I have so much to tell you all."

And I stepped back and let Alice escort me to the house that I had once belonged in.

I stepped across the beautiful threshold of the old, elegant house and took in the familiar sights – the shiny, oval dining room table, the back wall of glass, the grand piano that Edward once let his beautiful hands dance across for me…

I closed my eyes, breathing deeply to keep focused. This didn't help much when I recognized the sweet aroma of the house. When I opened my eyes, Alice was watching me contemplatively. Her meditative expression shifted immediately to surprise.

"Your eyes…" she said. I swiftly moved my gaze to the floor. I knew what she was looking at. When I had memories of when I was human, when they came so clearly I could swear I was there, my eyes turned dark brown. The color they were when I was human.

I blinked at her. "I don't know why they do that," was all I said before meandering over to the dining room table. I could see my reflection in the shiny tabletop. It was absurd to think that years ago, in another life, I had wondered if vampires even had a reflection.

"Bella? Isabella Swan, is that you?" An overly welcoming Esme Cullen stood at the top of the stairs. In the blink of an eye, she was pulling me into the motherly embrace that I hadn't felt in over ten years.

"Hello, Esme," was all I could manage to breathe. Why she welcomed me back so warmly after what I'd done to her and her family was quite beyond me.

"Bella, dear, how have you been? You look so…" she paused, searching for the right words, "well, honey, you look different. But not in a _bad_ way…"

"Thank you," I said in a whisper so my voice wouldn't break. I could feel that this was another almost human moment during which I would cry if I had that capability. It took a lot of strength to maintain steady breathing so that a dry sob would not escape my chest.

"Bella's here to _civilize_ herself, Mom," Alice explained.

"Well I knew it was only a matter of time until she came around," Esme said with an encouraging, uplifting smile.

I wondered how long it would take to see the face that mattered. Surly he could not only hear our conversation, but also Esme and Alice's thoughts?

As if my own thoughts had summoned him, Edward Cullen appeared at the top of the stairs. His bronze hair was tousled, like he'd been lying down, and his liquid topaz eyes looked as though they were going to pop out of his head. He was still beautiful. The surprise he must have felt at seeing me standing at the dining room table with my hands in Esme's must have been tremendously overwhelming. I looked at Edward, in person, for the first time in eleven years. As though he couldn't stand it, Edward flew down the stairs, but not before I had started running up them. We met halfway in the hungriest, most beautiful kiss I'd ever had. My hands found his hair and I allowed myself to entwine them in it, letting the silky strands become tangled through my fingers. He pulled me closer to his face, his lips working fiercely, not seeming to care that Esme and Alice were both watching at the bottom of the stairs.

Relief swept over me in gigantic waves. He forgave me! Just as Esme and Alice had! Maybe the damage I'd done to the Cullen family wasn't as bad as I'd first thought. Maybe it was reversible. Maybe.

"Isabella Marie Swan," he gasped when our lips parted from their long awaited reunion, "don't you ever leave me again."

I took a step back to look into his mind-numbingly gorgeous eyes. He did the same, and I promptly looked down. Too late. He'd seen the brown color of the iris. His memories of when I was human would be painfully flowing back like water breaking through a dam now.

"Your eyes…" he whispered in wonder, "they're… the same."

"Yes…" I didn't know what to say. I could not explain the humanity in my eyes when I thought of him. "I don't know why they do it, but whenever I remember something, see a memory in my mind as if I were watching it on a movie screen, they go back to the color they were when I was… human."

Edward looked at me in what I thought was alarm. Or surprise, perhaps. But he attempted to hide it quickly by returning to his complacent, affection-filled expression and he brushed my brown hair away from my cheeks.

"You forgive me?"

It was the wrong question to ask. Edward's face contorted into a mixture of fury and regret.

"Forgive you? Forgive _you_ for what? You did nothing that was unexpected of a newly transformed vampire. I told you about my rebellious days. Most of us will go through our phases… If anything, you should forgive _me_ for not coming with you, for not following you when you broke away from me that night… the whole point of the transformation was so that we could be together for the rest of time and I just let you run away from me," he paused, staring intensely into my eyes.

"Why, oh why, did I let you go?" He reached up to my cheek with his hand and traced my jaw line with his fingers, his ocher eyes searched mine; desperately seeking answers to his – undoubtedly – many questions.

Horror surged through every fiber of my body when I felt something warm trickle down my cheek. A single tear trailed down my face. I reached up to swipe it away, but before I could get there, Edward's cool hands were on both sides of my face and his thumb erased any trace of the salty fluid that had just run down my cheek like a ghost. I had not cried since I was human. I thought it was impossible to cry when you were a vampire.

"Your eyes…" he repeated.

"Edward… you can't imagine the intensity of my regret. The fact that you're forgiving me now feels so… undeserved. It's not fair for me to return to you like this and ask forgiveness, but I promised myself that if it was the last thing I did I would make this right. I can't go on without you any more. I'm here to fix myself – to civilize myself."

For a fraction of a second, Edward's eyes reflected the horror I'd felt at the tear running down my cheek. I was vaguely curious, but I continued.

"I just want to be back where I belong… here, in your arms. It's so… safe."

"Bella… I'd be more than happy to help you civilize yourself. I'd be more than happy to hold you in my arms until the end of time. But, Bella, there's something you need to know. Something you need to forgive _me_ for."

I was entirely alarmed, again, when I felt a thump come from within my chest. Something like a heartbeat. But, it couldn't be a heartbeat, not now. The whole transformation from a human to a vampire made the heart stop working. It was there, no doubt, but it didn't beat anymore. It was nothing but a cold, dead, useless organ. I wondered if Edward had heard it. He showed no sign of having heard the low thump that I'd felt, maybe because he wasn't expecting to hear it as much as I wasn't expecting to feel it.

"Anything," I answered him, a little loudly so that perhaps he wouldn't listen too hard and hear something I didn't want him to.

Edward smiled, but only a little. I only got a glimpse of the crooked smile that I loved so much, and I wanted more.

"It's a bit of a long story, so why don't you go first?" He offered.

"Bella Swan? Bella! How have you been?" Dr. Carlisle Cullen appeared at the dining room table, a friendly, handsome smile split across his face.

"I'm well, Carlisle," I sighed. At this rate, I would never get to tell my tale.

"Bella!"

Another one?

I looked across the room to see Jasper looking inquisitively at Alice, and then at me. After putting his special powers to use, he could tell that the mood in the room was fairly welcoming, and he fixed a smile across his handsome face.

"Jasper, how are you?" I asked, mostly out of politeness.

"Just fine, Bella, just fine…"

"Well, I suppose you'd all like to hear what I've got to say?" I sighed, I hadn't expected any less from the curious vampires. Besides, if I didn't tell them directly, they'd just eavesdrop.

"That's sounds like a good idea, why don't we all sit?" Esme pulled a chair from the dining room table and eased into it. Carlisle, Alice, and Jasper followed suite.

Edward grabbed my hand – his was still inexplicably colder than mine – and led me down the remainder of the stairs.

I sat and looked at the five pairs of curious eyes staring back at me.

"Where do I start?" I chuckled nervously.

"The last time we saw you was the night you finished transforming, eleven years ago. Whatever pain you were experiencing subsided and that wretched werewolf was waiting for you and he ambushed us the moment we tried to get you outside the door. When Emmett tried to protect you, you flew into a fury like I'd never seen," I flinched at this memory, "then you took off running down the street… and, well, that was the last we saw you," Alice reminded me in a hurt but probing tone.

"Well, after that… that night. The night I, kind of, lost it with all of you," I looked around me apologetically, but the golden eyes staring back at me simply urged me on. "Well I took a plane to New York. It wasn't a smart place to go, the weather is so unpredictable over there, and I would never know whether it was going to be sunny or not. I spent a lot of time indoors – more than I would have liked. I rented a low-key apartment in Manhattan and came out mostly at night to… well, to hunt.

"It was fairly easy, actually, to find, um, _prey,_" I whispered the last word, I hated to call humans "prey." It didn't seem right when little over a decade ago I had been one of them. I found it ironic that I had hunted for human blood in the first place. When I had been human and I daydreamed of transforming, I always saw myself hunting animals. Mostly because of the very human reaction that I'd had to the smell of blood. Even just one drop would send me into a fit. Nausea, dizziness… it was never something that I would ever consider ingesting.

"A lot of men looked at me like… like _that,_" I glanced at Edward and saw something like hatred picking at his features. "I would lead them into alleys and attack. I did what Edward had when he left – I mainly hunted the bad people… when I was in control.

"But I was barely ever in control. The only times I was in complete power over myself, was when I was thinking directly of Edward. Those were the times that I led the bad men down into the alleys and attacked. But when I wasn't accountable of my actions, of myself, things would get… bad.

"I would always catch myself when it was too late. I found myself attacking children, mothers – good, innocent people. And it wasn't until I saw the utter terror in their expressions that I would regain control of myself in the slightest bit. But it was too late by that time, the violent, monster side of me was overbearing at that point.

"I began to hate myself. Whenever I would return to the apartment from hunting, I would remember the expressions of the people. The sheer mortification on their faces. I couldn't live with myself. Every time I thought of it, I remembered that day in Volterra…" I glanced, again, at Edward, remembering the terrified face of the small woman with the rosary. It was one of my human memories that came clearer than most of the others – besides the ones involving Edward.

"Which, I suppose, ultimately led me back here. I really am tired of being a monster. And… I just miss you all so much," I quickly took a steadying breath, for the emotion was threatening to overpower me again. "And I couldn't go another minute without knowing I would soon see your faces again," I now talked directly at Edward, hoping he'd understand I was talking mainly about him.

"I flew back, and the only thing that kept me in control for the nine hour flight was the thought that I would be able to see Edward soon. I'd called and briefly explained to Charlie and he, for some reason, agreed to come pick me up," the memory was as vivid as if it were the day before. Eleven years ago, I told Charlie about the Cullens. Told him every last detail, right up to the fact that Edward would be transforming me following the conversation. Charlie was too shocked to believe, but for the next three days, while I was transforming, Charlie left the house. I lay in my room for three agonizing days with only Edward by my side. Edward was truly my hero for those seventy-two unbearable hours. He sat, loyally, by my side and grasped my hand when the intensity of the pain reached its peaks. Things went downhill from there.

Once the transformation was complete, I "woke up" from my tender stupor and the first things I saw were Edward's breath taking eyes. I saw them more vividly than I had ever seen anything. In that moment, I was the most powerful creature that had ever sucked in a breath of air. I could have crushed diamonds with my bare hands, I could have leapt across the Grand Canyon – I could have done anything. The power felt good. It surged through my entire being, through everything that I was. And then… it stopped. I didn't feel it anymore. Those were the few mere moments before I realized how excruciatingly thirsty I was. The Cullen family was prepared to take me to the forest and teach me how to hunt for animals. All of them were so pleased to see me up and about again that they were not quite so cautious in leaving the house.

Carlisle opened the door to lead our group out, when we realized there was an ambush waiting for us on the other side. Six werewolves – Sam, Paul, Jared, Embry, Quil, and Jacob – were prepared for our leaving. Jacob had been my best friend in another life. When we had both been human. The wolf that was Jacob attacked first, and I would have let him have me because of who he was. Emmett flung himself in front of me and grabbed Jake in midair. I had screamed for him to stop, but Emmett swung the wolf and threw him through the air. I hadn't stayed to watch what else happened – I ran.

I ran as fast as my legs would take me and became even thirstier as I went. I needed blood – fast. I suddenly realized that I was in Port Angeles. Vaguely aware of how fast I'd gotten there, I slowed to a walk and trudged onward. Before I knew it, I heard a familiar voice. A voice that had sometimes haunted my dreams when I was capable of sleep.

"Hey, sugar, where you goin'?"

I twisted around, slowly, realizing at once who was speaking. A short man with dark hair and skin was walking behind me. His friends were not with him. He was alone; we were in the dark in an alley that was far from human contact. He was probably thinking the same thing I was. _Perfect._

I shuddered at the reverie, snapping back to reality.

I looked up and realized that five pairs of golden eyes looked at me with remorse. Edward – who hadn't let his eyes stray from my face since he'd first seen me tonight – looked at me like he was facing a judge who would sentence him to a life of torture.

"What are you all staring at?" I asked, panic coloring my tone. Maybe they didn't forgive me. "What more do you want? I've told my story. I thought… I thought I would be forgiven…"

"That's not it, Bella, dear, that's not it at all," Esme's tone was soft, reassuring, pitying…

"Then what? What's wrong?" I was growing more and more anxious as the deafening silence continued.

Edward glanced at Carlisle who nodded, stiffly, once.

"_What?_" I hissed, losing my patience. What could they all possibly know that I didn't? What could be so awful that pity practically stabbed me from their expressions? I took a steadying breath – I needed to work on my temper.

"Bella…" Alice began, but Edward stopped her.

"No, Alice, this was my fault. I'll tell her."

Fault? What was his fault? _What was going on?_

"Bella," Edward started, letting his eyes stray from my face for the first time that night. Looking down at his hands, which were folded neatly together, he began "When I transformed you, eleven years ago, things changed around here almost immediately."

I stared. I knew things would change for the Cullens and Charlie, but what else could have possibly happened to make them as nervous as they were?

"Do you remember the… the conditions of the Quileute and the Cullen treaty?"

I stilled when he mentioned this. How could I have forgotten the treaty? The Cullens would only be left alone if they stuck to the terms of the treaty. Otherwise, the Quileute pack of werewolves could attack them at anytime, anywhere. The conditions… why were the conditions so fuzzy to me? Because they were human memories? What other explanation could there be?

"I don't remember," I muttered, ashamed.

"Well, there were two, mainly. We couldn't go on their land, for one. That wasn't all that hard to oblige to. But… the other condition… well it was broken the night we transformed you."

I was still drawing a blank. I could have kicked myself! This was such an important memory, why couldn't I put my finger on what the second and obviously most important condition of the treaty was?!

Edward's eyes flashed up to mine, and I was panic-stricken to see the immense amount of guilt in them. He looked back down at his hands, "We weren't supposed to bite a human."

I froze. How could I have forgotten? Jacob would not have taken well to the breaking of the treaty at all, let alone the breaking of the treaty to transform _me_ into one of _them_. Given our history, I knew he would have been more than outraged.

But I still didn't see why the faces around me were so sympathetic. It made no sense. The treaty was broken, shouldn't I be the one who was sorry?

"I'm sorry…" I mumbled, "I didn't realize how much trouble I'd caused… I would never have left if-" but Edward cut me off.

"Bella," he very nearly snapped, "Don't you _dare_ apologize. You don't know…" but he trailed off.

"Edward, please," I was getting very impatient – curiosity was taking over me.

"Bella… the night you ran away, the werewolves didn't stop attacking," I stared at him, willing him to look up from his hands, to meet my eyes. "There wasn't much we could do. You'd run off and if we left them, they might try to find you…"

"Edward, what are you trying to tell me?" I asked quietly, almost inaudibly.

"Bella," he looked up at me with the sorriest eyes I'd ever seen. "Bella – Jacob Black is dead."


	3. M E M O R I E S

**the song for this chapter is "We Suck Young Blood" by Radiohead**

2. M E M O R I E S

Dead? _Dead?_ The word echoed through my head. No, it couldn't be. I refused to believe it. Jacob Black could not be dead. There was no way that he had ceased to exist. Jacob Black was alive, and probably furious – furious with me for betraying him. I had to go to him, I had to go to La Push right now and check on him – I had to make sure he was safe.

I began to stand up from the oval shaped table, but I stumbled on the chair leg. This shocked me – snapped me out of my daze. Since when do I _stumble?_ I hadn't tripped over anything in years. Upon my falter, Edward made a movement toward me to catch me, but I brushed him away. I was fine. Just in a trance. I started to make my way to the door.

"Bella? Where are you going?" It wasn't Edward that spoke this time – it was Alice. The first I'd heard from her in over an hour.

"I have to go see Jacob," I explained hastily, "I have to go to La Push."

It made perfect sense to me, but Edward and Carlisle exchanged bothered glances.

"Bella, you can't go to see Jacob," Edward wasn't making sense. Of course I could go see Jacob! He was my friend and I was in town. After so many years, we had a lot to catch up on.

"Why not?" The words didn't seem to come from my mouth. They didn't sound like my voice. That wasn't my voice. That weak, trembling voice – that was the voice of human Bella. I hadn't heard that voice in over a decade. It very nearly frightened me to hear it, to feel it come out of me.

"Bella… please," Edward looked soulfully at me through his thick black lashes, "Don't make me say it again…"

What? That Jacob Black was dead? He could say it as many times as he wanted, it still wouldn't be true! Jacob was probably sleeping peacefully in his too-small bed in his too-small bedroom after a long night of patrolling his land for evil vampires.

"Jacob is gone, Bella, gone. Do you understand?"

No. I didn't understand. I didn't understand why Edward was trying to hurt me so. This had to be some sick joke. It wasn't funny. I wasn't laughing.

"No," the word came out, "You're wrong. He's alive. He's just sleeping."

I sounded a lot stronger than I felt.

"Bella…" Edward took a step toward me and wrapped his long, white arms around my waist and strategically positioned his lips at my ear. "I'm sorry…"

Then, something happened – something that made me almost nauseous. My stomach did a cartwheel and then I felt a sinking feeling. Right in the pit of me, a black hole formed, and it sucked everything in. I could feel it, threatening to suck me in. It was a terrifying sensation.

"Bella?!" Edward's voice seemed alarmed.

_Why?_ I wondered vaguely. _Why are you upset? Don't be upset. I love you._ But the words refused to escape my lips.

I realized I had sunk down onto my knees. I was on the floor, and Edward was looking at me in bewilderment – worry. _Don't worry,_ I tried to tell him, _I'm just fine._ But again, the words would not make themselves known.

Muffled, as if I were under shallow water, I heard Carlisle say, "I think she's going into shock…"

"Jacob…" I muttered, "…dead." And suddenly I couldn't see.

I could see nothing but the blurry outlines of the family surrounding me, hear nothing but the muffled sounds of their worried voices. I felt a curiously warm sensation that tickled my eyes. I blinked and realized I was crying again. Not just crying, I was in hysterics – sobbing uncontrollably. It scared the hell out of me.

"Carlisle? Carlisle why is she crying?! She can't cry! We can't cry!" Alice's beautiful voice was distorted with concern.

"Jasper," I heard Carlisle snap over the deafening roar of my sobs.

And suddenly, I was floating. Serene, worry-free, peaceful… floating. I welcomed the feeling – anything to keep me from breaking.

I felt myself being lowered onto something soft. Then Carlisle's face appeared over my head.

"Bella?" He asked with much anxiety.

"Carlisle?" I countered, still much too calm than was natural.

"Well. You're barely back for two hours and already you've scared the living daylights out of all of us." His voice was still worried, but amusement colored his tone ever so slightly.

"Sorry," I sighed. "Can I go to Jacob now?"

Carlisle frowned. "Bella, you are in denial."

"I am not," I denied. Carlisle raised an eyebrow. "A little," I allowed.

"Bella?" Edward came rushing to my side. "Bella I'm sorry. I shouldn't have told you like this. Are you all right? I thought you might explode out there, you were shaking so hard…" His words were coming out so fast I missed half of them – the way he often spoke when he was upset – but I caught a few key phrases over and over again like "sorry" and "my fault" and "stupid."

"Sh, sh, sh," I held up a finger and raised myself off of the sofa that I had somehow ended up on. I looked at his mournful eyes – his regretful, topaz eyes. They were as stunning as ever.

"Let's say what you're telling me is true…" I felt a shiver down my spine. It was ridiculous of me to even consider this decadent lie as a fact. "What… what _exactly_ happened?"

Edward looked at me nervously. Jasper's tidal wave of tranquility was still affecting every fiber of my body, and for that I was grateful. If I was going to have to hear this, I needed to be as calm and rational as possible.

"Well," Edward began, "we were going to escort you from your house and take you to the forest. Start small, you know? Teach you to hunt deer and foxes, perhaps. But the moment we opened the door, we were under attack. Alice didn't see it coming – you know she can't see werewolves – and I was too focused on you to listen to any other thoughts. They were sure to be blocking their minds, anyway. But, moving on, one of the wolves had caught sight of you and bounded forward to attack. Emmett was quick enough to get in front of you, but it seemed that was not what you wanted. You started shouting for him to leave _Jacob_ –" he spat the name with vast distaste " – alone. When he didn't, you broke away from us and ran off. I was going to follow, I swear to you Bella; I was going to come after you. But the pack wouldn't leave my family or me alone. We had to take care of them, first."

"When you say take care of them, I'm assuming you don't mean giving them their evening kibble?" I was still far too calm and light and airy for this conversation.

Edward's lips twitched up and he flickered me his award-winning smile. It vanished when he said, "No.

"Bella. If I had left the pack, they would have come after you. The Jacob dog had already latched onto your scent. I couldn't… I couldn't let him, Bella. I couldn't let him take you." Edward's eyes were hard, and hateful for the first time that night as he recalled the memory to the surface of his mind.

I stared at him, the calm wearing off slowly.

Edward stared back, willing me to understand his side of things as he said, "I… I killed him, Bella. I killed him before I realized who it was. Had I known that it was Jacob, I would never…" he trailed off and looked down at the floor.

Though the calm was wearing off, it wasn't completely gone, for which I was thankful. I was sure that if I didn't have anything holding me back, I would throw another fit.

It still didn't make sense to me. Jacob. Dead. But he'd been so sure of himself, so sure that a vampire could never harm him in any way – especially when he was with his pack. His pack… did this mean they were all dead?

"What happened to the rest of them?" I was shaking off the surreal state fast – my voice became more belligerent with every word.

Edward looked over at Jasper. I couldn't see his expression, but then I felt a new wave of calm drag me under. I felt drugged, and as sick of it as I was, I welcomed it. Anything, just don't let it hurt. It was silent for what seemed like hours before he finally said, so quietly that if I hadn't been listening with every ounce of me I wouldn't have heard him, "We got rid of all but one."

Despite the warmth of the calm that was spreading through me, I felt a ripping at my insides. _All_ but _one_? Sam or Quil? Embry? Jared or Paul? Which one had survived the massacre? Which one? "Which one?" My thoughts became words.

"We're sure it was the head wolf," Sam then, "he had backed off when… the first went down. He just watched as his minions tried to avenge their brother and were… torn to bits."

Sam Uley had been the only survivor. _Well good for Emily,_ I thought bitterly.

I looked up at Edward. Took in his familiar face – his scent. Took in everything I could. He could have died that night. The werewolves could have ended his life. He could have been _killed_. The idea tortured me – sent me into another fit – but not the same genre of the last. I leapt up from the sofa and wrapped my arms around his neck. I pressed my lips over every inch of his face until finally meeting his lips. It was a wet kiss – I was crying again. Edward kissed me back for a moment before pushing me back and wiping my cheeks with his thumbs again.

"How do you do that?" he asked me, confusion taking over his features.

"Do what?" I queried, though I had an idea what he meant.

"Cry."

"I haven't cried since I was human. Not until tonight."

Edward looked at me, calculatingly. Then he focused his eyes on Carlisle. I looked over, too, allowing my eyes to come away from Edward.

Carlisle seemed to get the hint, "I have a theory, but it's nothing more than that."

Edward looked at him, reading his mind, I was sure. I wouldn't have any of that.

"I want to know, too!"

Carlisle smiled at me, flashing his blindingly white teeth.

"Well, Bella. My theory is that this is your 'gift.' You know, Edward can read minds, Alice can see the future, and Jasper can control the emotions of the people around him? I believe your gift is human qualities. You can take the characteristics, emotions, and feelings you had as a human – take them from your distant memories – and incorporate them into your life now – as a vampire."

He seemed pleased with his theory, but I disagreed. I already had a gift – one I wasn't sure if I wanted to share with the Cullens quite yet – and it had nothing to do with "human qualities." It was far too supernatural.

"I'm not so sure, Carlisle. I don't think this is my gift…" I tried to get him to think a little harder.

"It's just my theory. I suppose we could look more into – research it a bit…"

I nodded. I could feel Jasper's power fading again, and as it slid away I could feel the blow Edward's news had inflicted on me like a fist sinking into my marble stomach – a knife slitting my rock-hard flesh. I gasped and squeezed my eyes shut. It was always a peculiar thing – how my emotional pain took a physical effect on me. But I had expected it to go away with my transformation. Apparently it hadn't. I took a deep, calming breath, but when I went to exhale, it came out as a sob.

Edward settled down next to me on the sofa and smoothly curled one of his beautiful arms around my shoulder, rubbing my back in a comforting fashion. He put his head on my shoulder and whispered that everything would be fine. I wished I could believe him – wished it with every part of me. But the piercing feeling in my abdomen was telling me otherwise, and in a more convincing tone.

After all, if Jacob _was_ dead, it was only a matter of time before a new pack of werewolves were ready to hunt – and then there would be war. The future wasn't smiling as brightly as it had been when becoming a "vegetarian" was my biggest concern. I stifled another sob. My best friend was gone. How had this affected Billy?

Billy, my father's old friend from La Push, was sure to be beside himself. It wasn't a feasible idea for Jacob to be dead. It would hurt too many people. No, I decided. This must be some impractical joke.

But in somewhere in the pit of me, I knew it wasn't.

I looked up at Edward's breathtaking eyes. "I have to go to La Push."

He nodded understandingly, "But I'm coming with you."

"But what abou-"

"The treaty's been broken. I can go anywhere I want now."

Edward stood up from the couch's inviting comfort, offering me his hand. I took it and stood up myself. We started toward the door and were about to leave when Alice stepped in front of us.

"Bella, if you don't hunt now, your visit to Billy will not be a pleasant one on both ends," Alice stared straight into me. Checking, I was sure, to see if I was truly ready to change my ways.

"Oh," I realized she was right – there was a hot, burning sensation in the back of my throat. I hadn't realized how thirsty I was! The thought of visiting Billy suddenly became even more appealing…

Edward looked at me, searching my expression. I couldn't let him down.

"Yeah, let's go. Right now," I wasn't going to back out now.

Edward's face relaxed and he flashed Alice an "I-told-you-so" sort of smile before we waltzed out the front door and entered the dank forest surrounding the Cullens' house.

Animals were something entirely new for me. I wasn't sure I had it in me to look into the soft, brown eyes of a beautiful doe as I sucked the life out of them. I had never been very good with animals. I'd never even had a dog – seeing as I killed three fish in a row, I figured it wouldn't be the best idea to try my tactics at a puppy. Still, the deer we were closing in on by the brook were so peaceful. Edward looked at me, meaningfully – the signal to attack.

It all happened so very fast – Alice and Edward had leapt nearly twenty feet into the air and landed on the backs of two huge bucks. The herd started to run, their tails flipped up to show their white undersides. I realized if I didn't act quickly, I'd miss my chance. I ran after the deer and caught up exceedingly quickly. I searched for a big animal – one that would be sure to quench the thirst that was making my throat burn. I caught sight of a large female and pounced. She stumbled to the ground and I sunk my teeth into the back of her furry neck.

It was the most appalling thing I had ever experienced.

I was used to the baby soft skin of human flesh, the warm gush of blood seeping quickly into my mouth, and the hot, gooey, sticky, sweet taste of it. I was not used to this… this… hair! There was so much fur in the way of the actual tissue of the animal, that I wasn't even sure I'd bitten her. The hair was getting in my mouth, and I sputtered my tongue, trying to get it out. When I finally _did_ taste the blood, it wasn't the bitter yet sweet taste that I had been anticipating – it was sour. And it was much more watery than human blood.

I nearly spit out the mouthful of blood and hair, but then I caught Edward and Alice staring at me from atop their own beasts, scrutinizing my reaction. I took a deep breath and swallowed the gulp that was in my mouth. I expected my thirst to start to be relieved, for some of that hunger to be quenched. It wasn't. It was like running a mile and then drinking soda instead of water. The poor excuse for blood simply made me thirstier. Maybe if I sucked some more…

I started to chug the deer's blood, letting it pump throughout my system. I slowly got over the initial foreign taste and the hair started to bother me less and less. My thirst was not completely gone, but the burning sensation in the back of my throat was. I looked up to see Edward and Alice both standing over me, grinning. I had sucked the doe dry, every last drop of her was now somewhere inside me. She looked strange, all shriveled and skeletal. Without her blood, she took on the appearance of a furry skeleton. I tossed her aside and stood up so that I was on the same level as the other two.

"Well? What do you think?" Alice asked me, smirking. She already knew the answer.

"It will… take some getting used to," I permitted.

Edward chuckled and took my hand, leading me back through the trees to the house. I could hear Alice sniffing – looking for another animal, no doubt.

"You're a natural," he whispered.

I grimaced. "I _learn_ from the best," I said, putting special emphasis on "learn" seeing as he hadn't _taught_ me anything.

He laughed again, catching on, and pulled me further along. Before long, we reached the driveway that led to the garage. He pulled the door concealing the cars up and I gasped.

Instead of the shiny, silver Volvo I had remembered so dearly, a yellow Porsche faced me. Alice hadn't been kidding, then, about needing to acquire one legally.

Edward caught sight of my astonished face and laughed softly. He cocked an eyebrow and looked at me sideways. "It's Alice's," he informed me. "I wasn't kidding when I told her I'd get her one for Christmas."

I shook my head in disbelief. What a crazy vampire.

"Ostentatious," I scolded, suddenly remembering Rosalie's red convertible.

Edward looked at me in amusement and mild surprise at my memory of that day. "Strange, most in your position wouldn't remember such a small detail of their human life."

"Most in my position don't cry, either," I reminded him.

"Hm," was all he said. He looked at me calculatingly before climbing into the expensive car's driver's seat. "Coming?" he asked me through the windshield.

"You bet," I muttered, sliding in after him.

He started the car and pulled out into the night.

"So," he began as I felt the car accelerate, "still afraid of going fast?"

"Not so much scared as I am uncomfortable," I told him, but my fists clenching the edges of the seat gave me away.

Edward let out a hearty laugh and pushed the car even faster. I rolled my eyes.

Suddenly, his face was serious. He reached a hand over and ran it down my face and arm, coming to a rest on my hand before taking it in his. "Do you understand the utter hell you put me through, Bella?"

I looked down at my knees, guiltily. I did understand. It must have been the same hell I put myself through.

"Edward… I would have come back sooner if I'd known you'd forgive me so easily… but… I was afraid. I wasn't sure you'd accept me right back like you did. I- I thought I'd lost you…"

After giving my hand a reassuring squeeze, Edward released my hand and raised his own to my chin forcing me to look into his smoldering eyes. "You will never 'lose' me, Bella. Try as hard as you may," he continued, his tone teasing now, "you're stuck with me."

I smiled sadly. "I'm sorry I put you through so much. If it makes you feel better, it was probably the same kind of hell for me…" but Edward shook his head.

"Honestly, Bella, I'd prefer not to hear it. I just want to leave those feelings in the past. Because, you know, you're never getting away again," he smiled wryly, crookedly. And I nearly attacked his face with kisses. Instead I planted one kiss on his stone-cold hand – he was driving, after all – and gazed out the windshield.

"Bella… I have another question for you…"

I waited, but he didn't say anything. If it was something he needed permission to ask, I wasn't sure if I wanted to answer.

"What makes you so sure that your human characteristics aren't your gift?"

I sighed. I'd had a feeling it would be something along those lines. I considered lying, but I'd never been very good at it. Hell, I still wasn't very good at it.

"I already have a gift."

Edward's already sparked curiosity caught fire, "What is it?"

I grimaced. I hadn't wanted to tell him. I hadn't wanted to tell any of the Cullens about my abnormal power. There would be too many questions, too many faces, too much pain, I was sure.

He waited. When he sensed that I wasn't planning on answering, he flared. "Seriously, Bella. I won't judge you by it if it's that bad. I know you, and I know you wouldn't use your powers for… well… evil, pretty much. I'm just fascinated – curious, if you will. Please tell me?"

"It's not that I fear your judgment, Edward. I fear you'll ask me to use it. I don't want to. I've seen a lot in the last eleven years, and it's been hard…"

"Bella, I promise you that if you are unwilling to perform your talents that I will not try to sway you in any way."

I realized, for the first time, that the car had stopped. We were outside of Billy's house and there were lights on in the windows. I wondered if he knew it was Edward. I wondered if he knew I was in town. I wondered what his reaction would be to the two of us standing in his doorway.

It was raining, pouring really. The little sports car's wipers worked furiously against the rivers streaking down the windshield. I looked at Edward who was using his dazzling powers on me. I decided that if I was going to tell anyone, it might as well be Edward.

"Well… it's actually a long story. While I was… away… I made a lot of 'friends.' Vampire friends. Other human drinkers like myself. There was one girl, Carrie, who was changed when she was very young – twelve, to be precise. But she had been twelve for a very long time. Actually, she lost count of the years she'd been imprisoned in the body of a child once she hit five hundred. She couldn't remember any of her human life – nothing at all. I remember trying to console her when she shared this story with me. I had reached out to squeeze her hand, and then I went into a trance.

"I'm not sure what brought it on," I continued, contemplatively, "maybe it was the fact that we had just been talking about the mystery of her human life. I just know that suddenly, we were both seeing her life – her human life – right before our eyes. I watched as her parents were killed by… something… I'm not sure what. But it was something… _vicious_," I shuddered at the memory of the demon-like creature stripping poor little Carrie's parents of their flesh.

"Then someone came to save her from the creature. Just as it was about to kill her, a man came in – but he wasn't a man. It was a vampire. He must have changed her, but he left. Neither of us was sure whom he was or where he'd come from, but he'd swooped in and gotten rid of the beast. Then he picked Carrie up in his arms and took her away from the little cottage that the creature was in, and we snapped out of it. Suddenly we were both sitting in her living room again, safe and sound," I finished talking and glanced up at Edward. He looked even paler than usual – if that was possible – and his eyes were smoldering at me again.

"So, what you're telling me is that your gift allows you – and whomever you're with – to… see… the human lives of our kind?"

I nodded, solemnly. I knew it would only be a matter of time before the questions came pouring out.

But Edward just looked at me like he was seeing me for the first time. I knew those eyes – they told me things. They told me they wanted me to do it for him. But I wouldn't – couldn't! I wouldn't put him through that emotional torment.

"How does it work?" he asked, returning to his normal expression. But his eyes were still smoldering.

"Well, I just have to touch someone and, kind of, call it forward," I told him.

"Have you ever tried it with anyone other than our kind?"

"No."

"So how do you know that's it? What if you can uncover secrets from other creatures?"

"I don't." I answered simply. I really didn't feel like getting into it this much.

"Edward," I started, "I don't want anyone else to know about this – least of all Alice. Do you understand? I don't think I could bear to watch it…"

Edward gazed at me for a moment. He looked like he was trying to decide something – but then he nodded. I let out a sigh of relief.

"On one condition," I froze. I knew what was coming next.

"Can… may I see? Will you let me see my life?" I knew it.

"Edward! You promised!" I was angry now. He'd promised me!

"I know, I know, Bella. But, really, did you think I would have kept my mouth shut forever when you have such a remarkable gift on your hands?

No. But I didn't think he'd break his promise _that_ fast.

I looked into his liquid topaz eyes.

"I love you," I told him.

"And I love you," he seemed a bit taken aback by the randomness of my comment.

"It's just, been a while since I said it," I explained. He nodded, comprehendingly.

I sighed. "Alright. I'll show you. But if you see something… something you wish you hadn't seen… don't blame me," and with that I reached out to grab his hand and resurrect the memories of his humanity.


	4. R O S E S

**the song for this chapter is Roses by Poets of the Fall: good song. go check it. :)**

**AN: someone kindly pointed out to me a flaw in my writing, and i have now added information. i won't post it for those of you who haven't read it.**

**thanks TheFlyingCrayon 3**

3. R O S E S

Edward's hand was colder than mine – harder, too. I wasn't sure why that was, but I wasn't going to stop and try to figure it out now. If I wasted any time actually _thinking_ about what I was about to do, I knew I wouldn't do it. I grasped his hand and entwined my fingers with his. I stole one last glance at his anxious expression and closed my eyes, using every ounce of me to try and reach the long forgotten memories.

It started, fading in like the opening scene in a movie. I could feel Edward next to me; hear his slight gasp as he recognized the place we were in. I didn't look at him though – I knew it would break my concentration. I had to wait until the memory became stronger before I could look at his reactions.

Instead, I looked around me. We were in a small house – very small. It seemed we were in a bedroom of sorts, but it wasn't like any bedroom I had ever had to sleep in. The bed, so to speak, was smaller than the backseat of a modern day car and the sheets on it were as thin as paper. Someone was sleeping on the cot, and it was only then that I realized we were not alone in the room. A woman, a beautiful woman, stood in the doorframe, entranced by the slow rise and fall of Edward's chest as he slept. Every line on her face was etched with concern and fear. Her hair was a bronze color and it fell, in waves, down to her lower back. Her green eyes were filled with tears, and her face looked clammy. I knew who she was. Elizabeth Masen, Edward's mother, and I knew she was sick.

A sudden stir from the bed caught my attention – human Edward began to cough. He coughed and choked and wouldn't stop. His cheeks became flushed and his body shook with the force of his gagging. It hurt me on a different level than just my ears. These must have been the last few days of Edward's human existence and yet, he was still beautiful. His face was scrunched in discomfort and he was in a cold sweat, but his eyes were such a brilliant emerald green that it made his hair seem brighter – even more like copper.

"Edward," Elizabeth swept into the room and held her fragile son's head in her arms. "Edward it's getting worse. We must go to the hospital, my son. It may be our only chance left."

Edward nodded and started another coughing fit. His mother stroked his hair gently and hummed a lullaby, trying to conceal her own pain – and failing.

Once he had controlled his cough, Edward looked up at his mother. "What's wrong, Mother? What has happened?" Even in sickness – in humanity – Edward was practically a mind reader.

Elizabeth's face darkened and she stopped stroking his hair. She looked as if she might start yelling at the poor, dying boy, but then her tough face caved in distress. She began to sob.

"You- your father!" she gasped wildly when she could control herself. "He's dead! The hospital sent word this morning! He died from the influenza in his sleep last night!" Her shoulders slumped and she let her head fall into her hands. She started to sob again.

Edward, always the gentleman, strained to get up on his elbows and then wrapped his arms around his mother's torso. I was shocked to see tears streaming down his beautiful cheeks, too. I realized this was the first – and probably only – time I'd ever see Edward cry. I studied his features intently, watched the gleaming droplets of water roll down over his skin; watched them leak out of the corners of his luminous green eyes. It felt wrong to be so interested in his extreme sadness, but it felt… right at the same time. It was as if I were seeing a part of Edward that only he had known. As if I were getting to know him on a whole new level than I had ever known him before. It felt personal.

I chanced a glance to my left for the first time, looking at inhuman Edward's reaction. His face was fixed with a would-be impassive expression, and, were it not for the intense agony I noticed in his eyes, I would have thought he didn't care.

When he realized I was looking at him, he smiled crookedly at me – but it didn't go anywhere near his eyes. As if I hadn't already been regretting my decision to show him his past.

I tore my eyes away from his and settled my focus on the pair sitting on the bed again.

"I'm sure Dr. Cullen can help us…" I heard Edward mumble into his mother's shoulder. His voice was very weak, very human.

I watched as the scene before me began to fade into another setting. The room we were in began to change. Everything about it changed; the walls expanded and the one small bed became many rows of slightly larger – but still small – cots, all of which were filled with people. I clasped Edward's hand more tightly when I realized where we were – the hospital ward. And in the beds on either side of us – Edward and his mother were dying.

"Good evening, Carlisle," I heard a man say in a deep voice and a slightly British accent.

"Evening, Richard," Carlisle replied. I stared at him. I knew it was absurd of me to be so surprised at how much he looked the same, but I still was. "How are they?" Carlisle asked in more of a hushed tone, his eyes flickering over to the bed where Edward lay.

"They're not well," the man named Richard complied morosely, "The woman's fever went up today. We figure it's only a matter of time before she passes now…"

Carlisle looked down before asking, "And the boy?"

Richard simply shook his head sadly.

Carlisle nodded and began to walk briskly over to the beds we stood between. He looked at Elizabeth and shook his head again. He looked up then, at Edward, and stared at him. I watched the hope drain from his eyes.

Dare I look at the bed to my right? Slowly, I turned my head. I gasped at what I saw. Edward was a pale shade – and not the same pale as he was as a vampire. He was pale enough that I could see his veins – blue under his nearly translucent skin. His breathing was shallow and his breaths short, and though the room must have been over eighty degrees, he was shivering violently, a cold sweat dampening his clothes. He looked nothing like the sturdy, immortal Edward I stood next to. He looked like the faintest breeze would make him keel over.

I looked at his mother. Elizabeth was sleeping – dreaming. Her skin was as pale as Edward's, and I could see the sheen of perspiration on her forehead. She didn't _look_ anywhere near as bad as Edward did, but if Carlisle was true to his story – she was much worse. Every now and then she would mutter Edward's name and I had no idea if she was talking about her son or her deceased husband. All I knew was that Edward was going to die first. I felt the strong urge to try to change him, to save him from his deathbed. But I knew he was merely a memory.

Carlisle turned his attention back to Elizabeth. Suddenly her eyes flew open and she stared up at Carlisle. With a sudden urgency – fueled by whatever her dream had been about, I was sure – she grabbed his stone cold arm and glared at him with something burning behind her eyes. Carlisle was utterly taken aback.

"Save him!" her voice, though hoarse, was somehow strong despite the frail look of her body.

"I'll do everything in my power," Carlisle muttered, reaching for her hand and taking it in his own.

"You must," Elizabeth rasped, firmly securing her grasp on his hand. Her eyes started to smolder like green embers, "You must do everything in _your_ power. What others cannot do, that is what you must do for my Edward."

Carlisle looked at Elizabeth for a moment with discomfort. I knew he was wondering if she knew his secret. Suddenly, as if she'd been hit over the head with an invisible frying pan, Elizabeth slumped back onto the thin pillow on her cot. Carlisle checked her pulse and then looked at Edward, uncertainty cushioning his eyes. He stared for a long moment at the shaking boy before his expression finally cleared into a mask of determination.

"I think I've seen enough, Bella…" Edward's voice came from beside me, and it reeked of misery. I regretted showing him this. I had known that I would, but I had done it anyway. With an effort, I released his hand.

Like the ending scene in a movie, the hospital ward faded to black and the dashboard of the Porsche came back into focus. I looked down at my knees for a long time before picking my eyes up to look at Edward's face. It was contorted with tearless distress and his eyes looked at something millions of miles away through the windshield.

"I'm sorry, Edward…" I hadn't wanted to show him, but I had. It was my fault he looked as morose as he did now, "I shouldn't have shown you…"

"Don't be ridiculous," Edward snapped, shattering out of his trance. "I asked you to see it. Well, bribed you really," his tone was teasing but his eyes were sad.

"Now you understand why I don't want Alice to know? Who knows what we would see in her life…"

"But… Alice would want to know," Edward looked at me sharply.

"Yes, but would she want to know after she'd seen it?"

"Yes."

I sighed. He didn't seem to get it.

"Edward. I see the sadness in your eyes. Don't assume I don't. I don't know if I could handle having to look at Alice's eyes in the same state as yours."

"I won't tell her. But you should, you know," he began sending me on a guilt trip.

"I know."

"But you won't." It wasn't a question. It was a fact.

"Not likely," I confirmed.

Edward sighed now. "Well, should we pay dear old Billy a visit?" he asked, his tone biting.

I had almost forgotten why we had come here – why we were even in the Porsche. Almost… I swallowed. Not that there was any saliva to swallow – but the feeling of my esophagus contracting calmed me… in a way.

"Let's go," I muttered.

Edward got out of the car and was opening the door for me less than a second later. I stepped out into the rain and inhaled deeply. I couldn't believe I'd ever been so hateful of the smell of the damp earth. I loved it.

Edward led the way to Billy's front door, his arm securely wrapped around my waist. When we reached the threshold, I reached up to knock. But before I could rap my hard knuckles on the wood, the big door swung open. At the clearing of the oak, Billy was revealed in his wheelchair, glaring – with the most hateful eyes I'd ever seen – up at Edward.

"Why have you come here?" he asked me defensively, though he was still staring up at Edward with disgust.

"Billy? Is it true? Jacob's really… gone?" my voice was small and shaky and human. Perhaps that was why he released his gaze from Edward to look at me with scrutiny.

"Give me one good reason why I should tell you anything. You're one of _them_ now," Billy's voice shook with anger, and he did not relinquish me of his fiery eyes as I stammered.

"H-he… Jake… Jacob was my… he was my _friend_," I finally managed to spit out. "Don't I have a right to know what happened?"

"No," Billy growled. I felt Edward's arm tighten around me.

"Please, Billy…" And then I felt it. A warm, stinging, trickling sensation trailing down my cheek.

I watched as it fell to the welcome mat. So did Billy.

He seemed to know that regular vampires couldn't cry because his face was astonished.

I listened, still looking at the tear drop on the ground, to his wheels squeak as they backed away from the door and heard his deep, husky voice mutter that I should come in.

I looked up at Edward, and then stepped across the doormat. Edward began to follow, but Billy protested.

"I don't want _that_ thing anywhere near me," he growled ferociously.

"I go, he goes," I said fiercely, staring Billy down – a near impossible feat. But he soon lowered his eyes and wheeled into the small living room.

"Why have you come here?" the old man repeated.

I looked at Billy, really took in his appearance for the first time that night. When I had seen him last, Billy was fifty-six – a young fifty-six – and he'd had a certain… confidence about himself. Like he had everything the world had to offer. But now, he was sixty-seven and his age was catching him. His hair was a smoky gray and his face was wrinkled to the point of no return. His eyes were hard at Edward and my arrival and his old lips were pursed in agitation.

"Billy. What happened when I left? What happened around here? Is Sam forming another pack?" I asked, some desperation tickling my voice.

Billy stared at me like I was an idiot. His eyes then flickered, pointedly, to Edward. His meaning was obvious – he would say nothing in plain view of the enemy. Not that it mattered – Edward was probably reading his mind.

"I really don't see how _that's_ your business," his tone was flat, annoyed.

I let that subject drop.

I contemplated how to phrase my next question without bringing back painful memories, then decided there was no way to do that and asked flat out. "How have you been without him?" There. At least I hadn't resorted to using the name…

Billy's face fell and his tense shoulders slumped forward. If I hadn't known better, I would have thought he'd fallen asleep. Edward looked over his shoulder, out the window, embarrassedly. This wasn't a conversation that he wanted to be a part of, I was sure.

Billy looked up from his paralyzed knees, "I've gotten better."

He's obviously not ready to tell me the whole story, I thought. But he surprised me then by continuing.

"At first… well I didn't believe it. Sam came here at an early morning hour. I wasn't sure what to think, he usually only stopped by if there was immediate danger and he needed Jacob, but Jacob was already supposed to be with him. Sam was speaking fast and all I heard was the word 'dead' every now and again. At first I thought he was trying to tell me _you_ were dead, Bella. I told him to slow down and start again. He told me Jake was dead and I _laughed_," Billy seemed tormented by this memory, "I thought the pack was playing a trick on me. I clapped him on the shoulder and told him to get back to work, but he sat me down and told me _everything_." Billy sent another piercing glare in Edward's direction.

"You killed him, you savage, didn't you?"

Edward looked back at Billy for the first time; his eyes were regretful and soulful again. "I'm sorry, Mr. Black," he said with sincerity and respect, "had I known your son was in the pack, I would never have laid a finger on any of them."

"Don't you preach your lies to me, leech," Billy snarled, his voice lined with utter despise. "I don't want to hear it. You and I both know you would have killed every last one of them no matter who it was."

Edward looked annoyed for the first time. "I would never hurt a friend of Bella's, and I believe Jacob was her friend – her very best." His tone had a note of finality to it, and I could tell that was the last he'd say on the subject.

"Jacob's friendship with her ended the moment you took her into your despicable lifestyle." Billy's face was flushing red under his russet skin. His eyes told me he wanted revenge.

Edward simply stared out the window again.

There was suddenly a deafening bang and the front door flew open to reveal a dark, monstrously huge man standing in its frame. Sam Uley started across the floor.

"What are you doing here? Get out of this house!" Sam roared at Edward. I leapt from my seat and was about to hurry to the door but Billy caught my cold arm in his hand and whispered for me to stay – it was Edward Sam had his attention focused on.

Edward looked calmly up at Sam and then raised himself slowly out of his seat. "I'll meet you in the car, Bella," was all he said and then he sauntered through the still open door.

Sam looked at Billy, then at me, and then back to Billy. They seemed to share a moment of wordless communication, gazing into each other's eyes, and then Sam went back out the door.

"Will he leave Edward alone?" I asked anxiously.

"If Edward stays in that hideous car he will." Billy's voice was still angry. "Sam's been helping me – taking care of me, in a sense – ever since Jacob was taken from me. Sam's been… great." Billy said the last few words sadly. I wondered if I should reach over to him and try to comfort him.

"Bella – I have something I want to show you. And then, I would appreciate it if you would leave." His voice was soft and hard at the same time. Final, as if this were a moment he'd been waiting for and dreading.

"Of course. I don't want to overstay my welcome…" even though I did. Being in this house had the wonderful scent of Jacob.

"Alright, follow me."

Billy wheeled around to the back door and started to roll across the wet lawn in the pouring rain. I understood at once where we were going – to Jacob's garage. I froze in the doorway, unsure of whether or not I wanted to proceed. It only took me a moment to realize that I did.

It caught me off guard at first, Billy's wheelchair had always been such a big limitation that he couldn't go outside without help. But as I stepped to the backdoor, I realized someone had laid a wooden path of planks all the way across the lawn. I wondered what was so important that someone took the time to lay a five-hundred foot path of wood so that Billy could get to the garage.

Once we were at the opening of the shack, I caught the very strong scent of roses. It was a bittersweet scent and I could tell there were many. Billy turned on the lights of the garage and I gasped at what I witnessed before me.

The garage had been completely transformed. The floor was made of earth, and it was covered in roses – hundreds of deep red roses. It was surreal! Then I noticed a path in the center of the garden that lead to the center of the room. I looked at Billy questioningly before advancing down the pathway. I came to an opening where the rosebushes cleared and a gray stone stretched up and out of the ground. I thought it was a grave at first, but then realized it was merely a memorial. A memorial to Jacob. I looked closely at the stone, reading the inscription.

Your loving smile will be forever here,

You haven't left us yet.

I felt the tears welling up again. I turned to Billy, questions bubbling to the surface. The one I would not have picked came out first.

"Why do you trust me?"

Billy's expression was grave. "I don't."

"So then why did you come back here all alone with a vampire?"

The answering voice was not Billy's. "He's not alone. And you are not a vampire."

I gaped. Sam Uley stepped out of the shadows, his eyes angry but his expression calm.

"I… I am though."

Sam just shook his head, "No, Bella. You are a human."


	5. P O I S O N

**song for this chapter - The Story by Brandi Carlile**

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4. P O I S O N

It was settled then; Sam Uley was insane. He had to be utterly out of his mind to think that I was human. In fact, it'd be a safe bet that the grief of losing his entire pack had gradually driven him mad. I stared at the big, burly man incredulously.

"Why in the _world_ would you say that?" I snapped, still disbelieving.

"It's obvious," he said, equally disbelieving that I was so set on the fact. Yep. Sam Uley was crazy.

"What's so obvious about it?" I retorted. Sam had never failed to aggravate me. I began walking toward the front of the garage to keep my word to Billy and leave.

"You're not dead."

I stopped in my tracks. "You would kill me if you knew I was a vampire?" I was careful to keep my voice steady. Any moment now, Sam could snap and explode into an enormous wolf and tear me to shreds. It wasn't wise to push his buttons.

But Sam shook his head. "I would not kill you, Bella, out of respect for Billy and his friendship with Charlie. But you would be dead if you were a vampire and you were in this room."

I looked around me. There was nothing out of the ordinary of the room – besides the fact that there was a garden of roses. Sam noticed my puzzled expression and motioned at the plants.

"The roses?" I asked, bewildered. Roses? A delicate flower? Roses were no more lethal to vampires than poodles!

But Sam nodded his head to suggest that I had finally caught on. I shook my head angrily. Hadn't Alice put tens of thousands of pink rose petals in bowls and used them as a decoration at my birthday party eleven years ago? Yes, she had. I remembered that night well and I was positive they were rose petals.

"Roses can't hurt my kind."

Sam's expression was grave, "Oh, but they can. They are deadly. In large amounts, of course. To hand a vampire a single red rose and have it inhale would do little damage. But this garden would be enough to kill two or three."

I glared at Sam with agitation. He sighed, seeing I did not believe. "Go ask your friends, then, if you don't believe me," he spat.

"Alice Cullen pulled thousands of rose petals from their stem and used them as a decoration for my last birthday party as a human. Which brings up another point, if I was so _human_ why haven't I aged in the past decade? I still look eighteen, don't I?"

Sam studied me very carefully. "Looks can be deceiving," he growled softly. I rolled my eyes.

"Well? What about the bowls of rose petals for my birthday, huh? Why didn't they kill the Cullens?" I questioned him irritably. Sam Uley was beginning to thoroughly piss me off.

"What color were they?"

"Pink."

"Then they were harmless."

I studied him fiercely. He was set on the fact that I was a human.

"Maybe I'm immune to the roses."

"No. You _smell_ like a human, too."

"What are you on about?"

"You smell exactly as you did as a human, Bella!"

Sam started to shake slightly. I took a deep breath. Sam had always been the best in the pack about controlling himself, so if he were getting into vibration mode, I must have been agitating him as much as he was bothering me.

"I can honestly tell you that I _am_ a vampire. And now, I am leaving before we both do something we could regret." I told him through clenched teeth before whirling back to the garage opening, eager to get as far away from Sam Uley as was possible.

"You'll soon realize, Isabella Swan. Sooner than you think," I heard him shout behind me. I sprinted back to the Porsche.

Edward was inside looking totally disconcerted. As soon as my door slammed shut, he hit the gas pedal and we sped out of La Push.

"You were listening?" I asked hopefully.

"Yes," his answer was abrupt. His eyes were so disturbed with emotion. I tried to imagine what he was feeling right now. Joy at my return, misery at the memories I'd shown him, resentment at Sam Uley and Billy Black for being miserable, old coots…

"Well? Is that true?"

Edward looked at me and then shifted his gaze back at the road. He took my hand in his and said, "Partially."

"Which part?" I asked confused.

"Red roses can kill us. But not their scent." Edward seemed comforted by the fact that Sam did not know that. "There's a chemical in the coloring of the rose that is lethal to us. It's beyond me who found this out, seeing as none of us are stupid enough to eat a flower. We're not _actual_ vegetarians, you know. But ingesting the chemical in any way, shape, or form has a bad reaction with our bodies. As the chemical pumps through our system it becomes like an acid and burns us from the inside out."

It didn't make sense to me. A flower? So fatal? The idea was absurd, and I found it hilariously insignificant.

I stared at him for a minute before letting the chuckle slip out. The chuckle then graduated to a boisterous laughter.

Edward looked at me, bewildered, "What's so funny?" he asked when I could control myself.

"We can stop _vans_ with our bare hands, but if we swallow a _rose petal_…" I let out a new sequence of guffaws.

Edward found it less hilarious. "Bella, they know that red roses can be toxic to us! This is not a time for laughter!" but his lips twitched a little at the corners.

"Oh, come on. You can't tell me that isn't hysterical? Our Achilles' heel ends up being a _rose petal?_" I went into another fit of giggles.

Edward smiled widely and let out a chuckle. That made me silent. I hadn't heard him laugh in over a decade…

At my silence, Edward became somber again. "This is a serious issue, Bella."

"But we don't eat flowers… so why should we even worry about it?" the concept of any of us eating a rose was hard to grasp. Flowers weren't even appetizing to us when we were _human_ – omnivores. But now, as carnivores – strictly speaking – why would it even come across our minds to eat a flower?

"Sometimes an animal will eat one," Edward continued, shrugging. "It's not something we have to worry about often, seeing as most animals don't eat roses because of the thorns, you see. And roses don't exactly grow wildly these days. They have to be in a garden." At this he frowned. "Which brings us back to Billy…

"The fact that they took you there," Edward's teeth gritted and his hands clenched the wheel more tightly, the tendons popping out from under his snow-white skin. I felt the vehicle accelerate. "You realize Billy's intent in leading you to that garden? He thought the _scent_ would kill you, Bella."

Any trace of laughter that was left on my face vanished. Billy had intended to kill me? But why? Had I really been that unwelcome…?

"Well thank God they don't have their facts right…" I mumbled, suddenly feeling completely vulnerable. "Hey," I started, sudden realization surfacing, "why didn't you come stop him?"

"He was blocking his mind, Bella, they both were. I had to rely solely on the conversation I could hear to keep an eye on you. Yet another reason why it would be so convenient to read your mind… Honestly, Bella, you'd think you'd stop getting yourself into life-threatening situations once you'd transformed into an immortal. But, no. You're still a magnet for trouble," he grinned at me, looking like something sent straight from heaven.

We turned into the driveway that lead to the Cullen's house, then. Edward pulled Alice's Porsche into the driveway and slid out and around to open my door for me in one fluid motion. As I stood, he slipped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his chest, breathing in the scent of my hair. I wrapped my own arms around his back and took in his scent. I had missed it so much. It was unbearable to think how long I had gone without it. I squeezed him tighter to me. He ran his hands up and down my back and kissed the top of my head.

"I missed you so much. Every moment of everyday and every night was sheer torture without you here," his voice was low and soft. I sensed he was holding back a lot of emotion. He let his lips come down against my jawbone and muttered against it, sending shivers down my spine at the feeling of his cool breath on my skin. "At first I thought I might be fine. I knew you would come back – at least, that's what I told myself. You were too compassionate of a person to not have that same empathy transferred to your immortal self. I knew you would come back.

"But days became weeks, weeks turned into months, and months into years. I wasn't sure how much longer I could wait without going out and looking for you. I wasn't sure how much longer I could stand to sit and wait. All my family told me to be patient. They were all sure you would return, too. It was agony. I couldn't give up hope, and yet all hope was lost. There wasn't one day I didn't think of you, Bella. Every day another fight for my sanity – for control of myself. I was prepared to climb mountains, swim across the ocean if I had to, to find you."

Edward let his lips graze the corner of my mouth. Then he took a step back so that he could look into my eyes, which, I was sure, were chocolate brown, again. "And then you showed up. Do you realize what I was doing when you walked into my house last night?"

I shook my head slightly and swallowed. I felt something; so deep I wasn't sure it was really there. It felt like butterflies were in my stomach. I swallowed again. The sun was rising – the darkness becoming paler.

"I was packing clothes to take a trip to find you. I didn't know where I was going to go, but I had to try. To continue to sit and do nothing while you were out there, getting into God knows what kind of mischief, was an unfathomable idea. Esme had begged me to stay, and I disregarded her wishes. I was going to do whatever it took to find you.

"Had Alice not blocked you from her sight, maybe I would have been a little more patient," he sighed, "What I'm trying to get at, Bella, is that I'm glad you were thinking the same way. In a very longwinded kind of approach," he smiled crookedly at me in the pale light of the clouded sunrise.

I couldn't move. Guilt was making me immobile. I had put him through so much torment, and for what? Human blood. The thought made me disgusted with myself. But I looked up to see that Edward's eyes were sparkling now, telling me there was no reason to be guilty. I had returned to him and that had made up for everything. I had returned to him _and_ changed my barbarian ways. And that made up for _everything_ in his eyes.

I realized that I had been unconsciously leaning toward his lips. We were mere inches apart and I could feel his breath on my mouth. I stretched up onto the balls of my feet and met his icy lips with the empty feeling of hunger.

I wasn't sure how long we stayed like that – kissing next to Alice's Porsche. All I knew was that when I opened my eyes, we were both sparkling. The sun had risen and its light danced off Edward's gorgeous skin causing rainbows to swirl around us in a whirlwind of color. And then, as quickly as the color had appeared, it vanished. The sun rose behind a dark cloud and kept its radiance to itself. Edward looked over to the cloud.

"It's going to rain. Hard. We should head inside." He offered me his hand.

I sighed and nodded, taking his cool hand in mine. I loved when the sunlight touched my everlasting skin. It always felt so… magical. Like anything could happen – a twist of fate, just around the bend.

"You know," Edward stated, bringing me out of my daze, "Sam Uley was right about one thing."

"Oh?" I asked, a tad more angrily than I had intended. I cocked an eyebrow up, "And what is that?"

"You smell _exactly_ as you did when you were a human. Like… freesia, somehow…" his voice trailed off and I looked down. Great. More human characteristics. I released his hand and rushed to stand in front of him.

"But do I smell good enough to eat?" I quizzed, mocking a seductive tone and tilted my hips in a come-and-get-me-boys kind of technique.

Edward grinned and let out a playful growl. I pretended to be frightened and turned to scurry away. Edward was faster. He had always been faster. He crashed into me while my back was turned, pulling his long arms around my waist and taking me down into the dewy grass and rolling so that he was positioned over me, his hands on either side of my head. We were both laughing so hard he didn't hear what I felt. It scared me again, but I kept my laughter loud so he wouldn't hear it. Another heartbeat. Just one, thankfully. And again, I had avoided letting Edward take notice of it with his acute sense of hearing. I reached up and stroked his stony cheek with my hand. He leaned down to kiss me again.

When he pulled away, his eyes were warm and content. He looked at me attentively – as if he were taking in every moment of this and fusing it to his memory.

"Emmett and Rosalie are here," he said suddenly after a few minutes of his mesmerizing stare.

"Oh," my voice reflected my angst.

"What's wrong?" he frowned.

"Does Rose still hate my guts?" I teased, but there was true curiosity shallowly hidden under my tone.

Edward just smiled crookedly at me, "Why don't we go find out?"

And in the blink of an eye he was over me, offering his hand. I reached for it and attempted to stand but my grip slipped and I fell straight back on my butt. I sat in wide-eyed shock. What happened to my grace?

I knew, then, that if I could blush, I would be beet red.

Edward just stared at me for a second before letting out an earsplitting roar of laughter. I glared up at him from where I sat. He always _had_ laughed at me, not with me.

I stood up quickly and began marching back to the house. Edward was at my side in a moment, still chuckling lightly, and he wrapped his arm around my waist. I sighed. Even if I'd wanted to, there was no point pushing him away. He was still stronger than me.

The front door of the house had barely opened before I was crushed into an eye-popping bear hug.

"BELLA!" Emmett roared in my ear, "You finally made it back to us!" He set me back down onto my feet and I gasped – more in relief than in need of oxygen – my hellos.

Emmett chuckled and rumpled my hair up a little, "It's great to finally see you again!" and his wide grin told me he meant it.

"It's great to see you, too, Emmett," and it wasn't a lie. I had missed the whole family – even Rosalie, a little.

Speaking of which, Rosalie walked out from behind Emmett's monstrous form and gave me a quick hug. This startled me, and I had to work to find the smile to put on my face before we pulled away. Rosalie was also smiling, and it didn't look as forced as it had so many years ago.

"It's great to see you two together again!" and by her tone, I could tell she was sincere. "Edward's been such a drag without you here…"

"Oh," I wasn't sure how to respond to that. "Thanks, Rose."

Rosalie beamed at me and went to go sit next to Esme on the black leather sofa in the front living room.

"How was La Push?" Carlisle came into view at the top of the stairs.

"It… could have been better," I tried.

Carlisle nodded understandingly. "It was bound to be rough. Billy's got a lot of bottled up emotions, I'm sure. You showing up at his doorstep probably unearthed a lot of painful memories for him."

Edward spoke up, his eyes hard. "Carlisle. He tried to kill her. At least, he _thought_ he was going to kill her."

Carlisle's face snapped to attention. "The other werewolf?"

Edward shook his head. "He was there, but that's not how they went about it." His tone was becoming icy and the corners of his lips pointed downward.

"How, then?"

Edward sighed. I noticed then that all the others in the room were still, their heads pointed toward Edward and Carlisle's conversation. They all looked anxious.

"Billy Black was under the impression that the scent of… of red roses would be enough to kill a vampire." Edward's hands clenched to fists and I could hear his teeth grind together.

"The scent is harmless," Carlisle relaxed.

"Yes, but they know that roses can be deadly to us!"

"Edward, what are they going to do? Force feed us the petals?" Carlisle's tone and expression were lined with the same amusement I had felt at finding out about our big weakness.

Edward still did not find it humorous. "Carlisle, if Black's got this garden growing, he could feed it to animals and one of us could end up dead!" his eyes flashed to my face and then back to Carlisle's.

Carlisle's expression softened. "Edward, my son, I don't think we are in any immediate danger. Won't Alice be able to see if something will happen to one of us?"

"Y-yes, but…" but Edward's face relaxed and his fists unclenched.

"Edward, I'll make sure to look before we go hunting every time if you want to be more cautious," Alice reassured.

Edward finally seemed to calm down. "Okay. But if anything happens – to any of you – I will have Billy Black's head." And I knew it was no metaphor.

The atmosphere in the room shifted from the tense mood to a pleasant one. Esme asked Emmett and Rosalie questions about their trip to Denali and I only half-listened, sitting on Edward's lap, his arms around me.

I hadn't felt so safe in so long. It was like his arms were protecting me from everything. All the vulnerability, guilt, and fear I'd felt in the last eleven years was insignificant here in his capable arms. He was my cage and I was his bird. It was enough to make any girl the happiest she'd ever been. I was no exception. I'd never felt this content with my life. As a human with him, I wanted more. I wanted forever with him. And then when forever came, I left. But now, I was here, with him, and I had forever to be like this. It was comforting to know that I could sit here with Edward until the end of time, with his cheek – which was colder than mine – pressed against my chest.

I could still vaguely hear Rosalie rambling on about the polar bears that Emmett had taken down. She was in mid-sentence when her voice stopped short. She froze. I knew exactly why, too.

I tried to make it stop, but I didn't know how. It was like that one heartbeat had ignited a whole spasm of heartbeats!

Yes, my cold, dead heart was beating – pulsing. It would have been perfectly normal for a human. But for me, this was _weird_. My heart was supposed to have pumped its last beat the night I finished my alteration into a vampire _eleven years ago_.

I took a deep breath and looked around me.

Every head in the room – Carlisle's, Esme's, Jasper's, Alice's, Rosalie's, Emmett's, and Edward's – had all snapped in my direction. Listening to the steady _thump-thump_ coming from within me. I shifted uncomfortably under all their eyes and tried to act as if I hadn't heard it. But who was I kidding? It was only obvious that it was my heart that had decided to throw a party.

I looked into Edward's astonished, topaz eyes. If it hadn't been such a serious situation, I might have laughed at the utter bewilderment of his expression.

"Bella…" Emmett's voice came from across the room. My head snapped to the direction of his voice. "Is your heart beating?"


	6. C H A N G E S

**Song for this chapter – Always by Blink-182.**

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5. C H A N G E S

The seven pairs of golden eyes that stared at me only made the steady beat increase into a faster, louder pulse. I looked, warily, at Edward. His eyes searched mine with incomprehension breaking like dawn on his face. I realized then that I was squeezing his hand incredibly hard, and released it, looking down to the floor as I did so.

"Bella… what's going on? What's happening to you?" Alice looked at me intensely and concernedly. I didn't respond. How could I? I didn't even know what was happening…

Even Carlisle looked baffled. "Never in my three hundred years…" he muttered. "Bella, this is… this is _epic_, for lack of better word. I don't know if this has ever happened to _anyone_…"

"What?" I asked hurriedly, "What's happening? I don't understand it, Carlisle. What is happening with my body?"

Carlisle didn't say a word as he stood up and strode across the room towards me. I sat perfectly still, listening to the tempo of the thumping in my chest get faster and faster. Carlisle leaned in slowly and sniffed me. I felt Edward tense slightly underneath me. I wondered what Carlisle was thinking that made Edward nervous like that.

"Bella, I'm not sure what to tell you…"

"Tell me what you think, Carlisle. I want to know!"

"No, you don't." It was Edward who spoke this time, his face fixed with a most peculiar expression across it. I shifted nervously.

"Edward, she needs to know for her own safety and-" but Carlisle was cut short when a deafening growl slipped out of me.

It was the most horrifying noise I had ever made and I didn't know why I was making it. I didn't even know where it was coming from, as my lips were pressed tightly together. The Cullens all stared at me, fixated by my unusual behavior.

Then I realized where the growl was coming from.

I felt an unusual sensation in the pit of my abdomen. It felt like a vibration – a quivering throb coming from where my useless stomach was… I froze when I realized where the growl had come from, and my stomach spoke up again for the second time in eleven years.

I felt my eyes widen and my neck snapped up to look at Carlisle, questions that needed answers in my features.

"Well, Bella," Carlisle scratched the back of his head in a bemused sort of way, "I think you're turning back into a human…"

"_What?_" I roared. Had the whole world gone mad? Was everyone absolutely insane? Was I the only person left who was rational? I looked around me to see the same shock I felt in every one of the Cullens' faces – except for Edward's. Edward looked at me square in the eye with something that resembled excitement. I frowned down at him. _Got your way after all, didn't you?_ I thought, bitterly. Even though I knew he couldn't hear me.

Carlisle nodded solemnly, "Why, I cannot say. There was nothing wrong with the transformation, I was there. But… well, this _does_ explain all your human characteristics… like the way your eyes change and the crying."

"And the clumsiness," Edward added with a smirk. I could have smacked him. How could he joke at a time like this? Did he have no regards for what I wanted?

"H-how do you know?" I stuttered.

"I smell a faint trace of blood in your veins," he said simply. "That and, your heart is, basically, pounding."

It was true that my heart was pounding. But wouldn't anyone's? The news was more shocking than the tears had been last night. This had never, in history, happened to anyone before. Why me?

"Why is this happening to me?" I moaned, rising from where I had sat comfortably on Edward's lap, not a care in the world – thinking about eternity with him – not ten minutes ago.

I did the only thing that made sense to me – I fled the house.

"BELLA!" I heard Edward roar after me. I remembered the last time I had run from him I had never come back. But I wasn't running away from him, or any of the Cullens this time – I was running from myself. My old self – my human self. I was running to get away from her.

Thankfully I wasn't completely a human – and I ran far and fast with no trouble breathing or falling. I ran through the trees, feeling the wilderness get caught in my hair and tug at my clothes, feeling the hot, tingling tears staining my face again, feeling my heart start to pound harder and harder. I kept running. It was the only thing that made any kind of sense. If I kept running, I would leave the humanity I had started to return to. I didn't want to be human again.

I ran and ran until I reached the top of a small mountain. I stood on the top of it and looked over the rooftops of Forks. I stared for who knows how long before I let out an earsplitting scream. I screamed out the sadness that had waited for me here when the news of Jacob's death reached my unsuspecting ears; I screamed out the fear of turning back; I screamed out the anger at Billy Black and Sam Uley; and I screamed out myself for ever letting myself think that anything could end happily ever after.

When I could scream no more – when my throat was raw and my vocal chords tired – I slumped down to the ground on my knees, sobbing. It was beautiful at the top of the mountain. I could see for miles – I could see the smog and city skyline of Port Angeles in the far distance – but that could just have been my enhanced vision. _I don't know _what's_ enhanced about me, anymore_, I thought. And I didn't. I didn't know if it was my vision or vampire vision. I didn't know if it was my senses that told me someone was behind me, or my human senses that let me know I was no longer alone at the top of this peak.

It had been hours since I'd left the house. I was sure someone had restrained Edward from following me right away, but now he walked slowly over to me. I was sitting upright with my knees under my chin, my arms hugging them. I could hear the wind, see it blowing my hair around my face, but I couldn't feel it. I couldn't feel it drying the tears to my skin, couldn't feel it swatting me with leaves and wilderness. But I felt when Edward sat next to me on the damp grass. I felt him there, felt him staring at me – but I never once looked at him.

I sat there for hours. Darkness came, and my stomach growled, but it growled for blood. It was a human instinct letting me know about a vampire instinct. I could feel my thirst building, but I continued to sit and stare out over the treetops, letting my mind drift where it may. So many faces pushed their way into my thoughts.

I thought of Renee and her reaction to when I had told her about my change. After I had changed. After I had run out on the Cullens and my pathetic existence was worthless, I thought that if anyone could accept me, she could. I had told her afterwards because I had known that she wouldn't take it well. She hadn't. She'd laughed at first when I told her what I was. Then, when I wouldn't budge on her theory that it was a joke, she became angry and told me to stop making up stories.

"You're acting very childish, Bella," she'd said, "Not like an eighteen year old at all."

She told me to take my red contacts out and to go back to Charlie in Forks. I insisted that it was true, and she ordered me to stop lying to her. I wanted her to see – so I told her to wait for morning when the sun rose.

I had sat on the couch until the sun peeked up from under the horizon. Renee had tiptoed downstairs a couple hours later – trying not to wake me – and seemed surprised to see me already up. When I told her I hadn't slept – that vampires don't _need_ to sleep – she scoffed and asked me if I was still on about that. I realized, then, that she wouldn't accept me if I showed her who I was. Renee, my mother, whom I loved, would not see me as her daughter, but a monster. I fled the house that night and hadn't talked to her since.

My mind wandered to Charlie. He had stayed with Billy those three nights during my transformation. I wondered if he'd told Billy everything that I had told him. It was likely. Charlie had been so shaken by the news, I remembered, feeling guilty. I told him about my vampire boyfriend, then told him I'd be changing into one myself, then I'd never contacted him until a few days ago since then. _He must be so hurt_, I thought. _I should pay him a visit sometime soon_…

My thoughts drifted then to Billy and I felt a new stab of anger race through me at his attempted murder. But thinking of Billy soon caused me to think of Jacob.

_Your smile will be forever here, you haven't left us yet,_ the engraving had said. I felt a new stream of tears leak out of my swollen eyes. The memorial had been so lovely, in the middle of the deadly garden. It was ironic that such beauty could be created from Billy's hatred.

_You haven't left us yet._ I smiled to myself. Jacob Black couldn't be dead – not when he was in the hearts of so many. I tried to remember the last time I'd seen him. I had been angry, I remembered. Furious. I had wanted to hit him, beat him, and cause him pain. I bit my tongue – hard – as punishment to myself for thinking those things. What could he have done to make me angry? Sweet, kind, smiling Jacob? His smiling face flashed across my mind. _Dead._ No. He wasn't. I could feel it. Somewhere in the rekindled pit of me, I knew he wasn't dead.

I let out a sob.

Edward grabbed me in his arms and pulled me into his chest. I curled up against him in the smallest ball I could make myself. I felt his lips caress my hair and his cold hands rub my arm comfortingly. He thought I was crying because I was turning back into a human. And that _was_ part of it, but if he _had_ been able to read my thoughts, I wondered if he'd be so comforting – knowing that I was crying over Jacob Black.

"Bella," he whispered right into my ear, "it's really not as bad as you think."

I looked up at him, anger starting to make its own tears. "Easy for you to say," I snapped, trying to untangle myself from his arms. His grip around me was too strong.

"And what's _that_ supposed to mean?" he asked, somehow pleasantly.

"You never wanted me to be immortal in the first place, now you get your wish. Apparently I _can't_ be one of you, so you don't have to worry about me not being able to die and go to Heaven or Hell or where ever the heck I'm going to at this point."

He looked at me; my words seemed to have touched a nerve and he looked stung.

He sighed. "You always misinterpret me, Bella. I never didn't _want_ you to be immortal, I just didn't want you to walk the earth an empty, soulless shell. And I wish there were some way to ensure you would never die. Because, frankly, Bella, I worry about you dying on nearly a daily basis." His tone morphed from a sad one to a teasing one. His eyes were light, airy. He really did want me to turn back into a human.

"It's just… Bella, I _do_ miss a lot of the human characteristics you gave up when you became a vampire. I miss the way your cheeks would blush when you said or did something you found to be horribly embarrassing. I missed the way I could hear my effect on you according to your heartbeat. I didn't miss your sometimes life-threatening klutziness, however. That you could do without," his tone was teasing again. "But it seems… it seems you can't not have a soul, if that makes any sense. It looks as though you were too… too… _human_ to ever fully become anything but," Edward looked at me, his topaz eyes burning with emotion. I stared back, trying to take in what he'd just told me.

"Is that what Carlisle said?" I asked.

"Not… blatantly."

"But it's what he thinks?"

"Yes."

"So… there's no way I can ever be one of you?" I was beginning to feel nervous. There was a problem with this that Edward didn't seem to see.

"Not completely," he seemed perplexed by my troubled eyes. "I suppose if you wanted to repeat the process, once you were human I could bite you again…" he tried feebly to make me happy.

"Edward, you're going to _have_ to."

"Have to? Why?"

I shuddered, thinking back to the day _I_ saved _Edward_ for a change. A day that haunted me still – the day in Volterra, Italy when Aro had promised that he would check on me in a few years to make sure that I had become one of them.

"The Volturi."

Edward's eyes hardened and his nostrils flared in remembrance and agitation. "I'd almost forgotten…"

"How could you forget?"

He looked at me, his eyes smoldering. "Then I'll bite you again."

I looked at him, skeptical at first, but then realized he was serious.

"Why are you so for it all of a sudden?"

He gazed at me through his thick black lashes intensely, a wry smile playing across his face. "Well, if you change your mind, it will only take another eleven years or so for you to start transforming back…"

On the way back to the Cullens', my stomach was growling incessantly. Edward started to talk about a fake headache I knew he couldn't actually have, and forced me to stop and hunt. It didn't take long to find a trail that lead us straight to a family of three foxes. Edward took one, and I the other two. My stomach was silenced, but my head went into another montage of me-and-Jacob-moments. The foxes' doglike features reminded me of him and I had to close my eyes to finish draining their lives away.

The door opened and Esme bombarded me, squeezing me so tightly to her bosom that I felt my back crack. Carlisle told me basically the same thing Edward had – I was too human to ever fully be one of them – and I countered him with my news that the Volturi had never caught up with me during my eleven year vacancy in their lives and they could come any time now. We had to stay vigilant and – once I was human – change me back.

The next morning, Alice told me she'd had a vision about me, which meant that I was attuned to her again. When I asked her what she saw, she mumbled something about having to do her laundry and hurried off. She'd seen me human again, I was sure.

Later that day, while I was sitting alone in my room listening to some music, Rosalie wandered in. She sat at the foot of my bed and started to make small talk with me.

"So, Bella. How have you been?"

I stared at her blankly for a moment before responding. "I- I've been… well, dumb, really. But, I'm here to fix that."

I was caught by surprise, again, when she smiled warmly and said, "And we're here to help!"

There was an awkward silence, and then, before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Since when do you like me?" Then I mentally slapped myself. Now she was sure to hate me again.

But she simply trilled a laugh as beautiful as she was and told me, "Well, Bella, a lot's changed over the years. And, I suppose, I've finally seen how much you mean to my brother. I mean… between Volterra…" she looked down, a frown besmirching her stunning face, "and your… absence… Well. You're good for Edward. Anyone with eyes can see that, and, I guess I was just blind before. Edward needs you and when you weren't around it was obvious…" she continued to ramble on for a few moments before I stopped her.

"I understand, Rose."

She grinned at me, flashing her pearly white teeth.

"Sorry I was such a… well… a bitch."

I laughed. "Don't even worry about it," I told her, beaming. I was just glad she'd finally accepted the fact that this was _my_ family, too.

The days seemed to grow longer and longer as my transformation back into a human became more and more evident. Edward would not allow me to walk down the hall – let alone the stairs – unless he was by my side, or even carrying me. My clumsiness was resurfacing, and my blood was coming back. There wasn't much of it, Edward had told me, but there was enough to spill a drop.

It was becoming very tiresome, having to live so carefully. For the last eleven years, I had been completely capable of taking a walk without having to worry about tripping, and I suddenly felt very much like a human again. Only the strongest qualities were coming back right now – the inelegance, the physical attributes – and Carlisle told me that it could be a few months before I had enough blood to bite me again.

"Then again," he'd said, "it could also be a few weeks. I think it depends on how you live, what you do. If you do more human things than vampire things, I think it will speed the transformation along."

So that night, Edward cooked me dinner.

The entire Cullen family gathered around the dining room table to watch me eat the three chicken nuggets that Edward had heated up for me. How he had heated them, I wasn't sure. The Cullens had no kitchen appliances – there was no need to waste the electricity. But the three fried globs of poultry were thoroughly cooked. I looked at them, doubtfully.

When Edward had told me he was going to make me food, I had stared at him, incredulous, for half a minute before going into a convulsive fit of giggles. When he told me he wasn't kidding, I laughed harder. When I saw him in an old cooking apron with ugly pink flowers on it and a plate with three miniscule chicken nuggets on it, it was nearly an hour until I was okay to look him in the eye without bursting into laughter. I could tell he was annoyed with me, but I couldn't help it. He'd looked like such a housewife.

Now I was sitting here with something that used to be a harmless chicken mixed with bread in front of me. I sat at the plate. The nuggets seemed to gloat – teas me, even. I poked a white finger at one. It left a greasy mark on the tip of my finger. I grimaced. I really did not want to swallow this garbage. I looked up and saw Alice snickering into Jasper's ear, her eyes full of wicked amusement. I glared at her. She stopped snickering, but her eyes were still full of laughter.

I sighed and speared one of the chicken nuggets with a fork. I looked at it with disgust one last time before shoving it into my mouth. The surrounding vampires held their breath.

Emmett looked at me wide eyed while I chewed, and, because of his expression, I started to laugh again. As I exhaled, chewed chicken nugget went flying across the table and landed in a pile right in front of Emmett. He looked disgusted for a second before bursting into raucous laughter. His hearty chuckle carried to the rest of the Cullens and the dining room table shook with the bellowing laughter. Edward was laughing hardest of all.

"Cut me a break, Bella. I've never cooked human food…" he said, his eyes sparkling with laughter.

"So you can't eat human food yet?" Carlisle asked, the smile lines around his eyes not yet gone.

"Definitely not," I snorted with a grimace.

Esme wiped the poor excuse for food up off of the table and straight into the trashcan. The house smelled of chicken nuggets for days.

Most of the days in the Cullens' house were filled with jokes and games. It was the most fun I'd had in my life – human or otherwise. We would hike to the same valley in the mountains where they had played baseball once and play all kinds of enhanced sports. Soccer, football, and field hockey were among their favorites. I mostly watched – the return of my gracelessness limited my capabilities greatly – but sometimes, if Edward were in a particularly good mood, I would be allowed to play.

It was one of those times when it happened.

It was a cloudy day, but not raining – perfect weather for a soccer game. Emmett, Edward, and Jasper were on one team – Carlisle was at work – and Rosalie, Alice, Esme, and myself on the other – boys against girls. I wasn't the only one who found the gender sorted teams a problem.

"Aw, come on!" Jasper complained loudly, "They get Alice? That's not fair!"

"Yes, but they've also got Bella," Emmett teased, "and with her ability to trip over air, they're going to need all the help they can get!"

I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out and blow a saliva-filled raspberry at him. I distracted myself with following the ball with as much grace as was possible.

Edward kicked it to Emmett, Emmett to Jasper, and then Jasper back to Edward. I watched, in awe, as he dribbled the ball skillfully – at the speed of light – over toward our goal. I watched Esme ready herself for the soccer ball and barely saw her block it. Edward had lifted his foot to kick it so fast that I hadn't realized he was even doing it. Esme stopped the ball with the same kind of speed. She threw it nearly a hundred feet straight to Alice.

Alice was merely a blur of white as she herded the ball toward the goal that Emmett was now hurrying to get in front of. Alice aimed and shot the ball towards the right side of the goal – a picker bush. Emmett leaped in after it, cursing Alice as the thorns tore at his clothes. Meanwhile, Rosalie high-fived Alice for scoring, their hands colliding made the sound of boulders crashing into one another. When he emerged, he looked wickedly at me. I raised my eyebrows, daring him to throw me the ball. He did.

The next thing I knew, I ducked. The ball had been heading straight for my face with no intention of stopping. Edward shot a dirty look at Emmett before going after the ball himself. I tried to beat him to it, but of course I didn't. Edward got to the black and white soccer ball first, but didn't start to kick it. He looked at me, wickedly raising an eyebrow. Challenging me.

Well if he thought I was one to turn down a challenge, he was sorely mistaken. I leaped toward him and started to herd the ball in the direction of Emmett's goal again. Edward caught me in no time, grabbing my waist and laughing as he flipped me over his shoulder and ran after the ball, racing towards Esme with it.

"No fair! Mom, Edward's cheating!" Alice whined.

"It's not cheating, it's strategy," Jasper laughed over to Alice.

"Edward, picking Bella up against her will is a foul," Esme stated, swiftly, and easily, stopping the air-filled ball with one hand.

"Aw, lighten up, Esme," Edward complained, but he was grinning as he put me down.

"Girls get a penalty shot!" Rosalie clapped.

"No way!" Emmett grumbled. He was, by far, the most competitive of the family.

"It's fine, Esme. No harm done, you stopped the ball," I chortled. I was having so much fun. I took a step in her direction and, humiliatingly, tripped on… myself.

I hit the ground. Hard. I saw stars at first, my head feeling rattled. "Ow…" I mumbled. I rolled over on my back and saw Edward staring down at me. When I turned over, his face was crossed with shock. Then he took a defensive, crouching pose over me that he hadn't practiced since I was human.

Before I could ask what was wrong, I tasted it. Blood was in my mouth. But how? Had I fallen over a mouse with my mouth open? Then I realized it was human blood – _my_ blood. It was warm, but cool at the same time. I wondered where it was coming from. _Probably my lip_… I thought. The wind picked up and I heard Edward growl lowly.

I sat up to look at what was happening – Alice and Emmett were both slowly walking toward Jasper who looked like he might lose it at any moment. Rosalie looked a little annoyed, and Esme was… beside me. When had she gotten there?

She sat on her haunches and looked at me for a moment. Edward crouched lower, more defensively over me, his eyes darting from Esme to the Jasper scene. Esme looked up from me at Edward, sharing a moment of wordless communication. Edward nodded stiffly once, and then swooped me up into his arms. I looked at him, puzzled.

He looked straight ahead and announced, "It's time."


	7. S U R P R I S E S

**This chapter's song is Lyrical Lies by Cute Is What We Aim For.**

**The lyrics are **_**perfect.**_

**This chapter was ****so**** hard to write. I worked really hard, and fast. It's one of those you either love it or hate it kind of deals. I hope you love it! ;)**

6. S U R P R I S E S

My eyes widened and I looked at Edward in shock. "Already?" I gasped.

He nodded, gravely, "It would seem…"

"How do you know I'm ready?"

"Well if you've got enough blood running through your veins that you can bleed freely and your heart is beating fast enough to pump it through your system quickly – which it is – then we can inject the venom in you and you'll be back to your old self in a matter of days. Perhaps hours if we do it soon."

I realized he was holding his breath. I ran my tongue over the cut on the inside of my lip. It was actually pretty deep. When I had fallen, my razor-sharp lower row of teeth had sunken straight into my lip. I was startled to taste how delicious my blood was. It smelled positively wonderful, too.

"Edward…" I muttered cautiously.

"Yes, Bella?"

"I taste really good."

He finally looked down at me, a demanding flare in his eyes, "Don't even think about drinking yourself. You need to preserve as much blood as possible for the transformation _and_ you could kill yourself!"

"But Edward! That's it! I still like the way I taste! I can't be ready to transform back into a vampire when I'm still in the mind-set of one."

"So think like a human," he snapped.

"How?"

"Well…" he paused, raking his brain for something human. He finally smirked and said, "How would you take this if you were a human, Bella?"

I thought. As a human, I had hated blood. The smell, the gush, and the crimson color of it… it was all much too gory for me. At the scent of it, I would throw little fits and get queasy or faint. I remembered the way it reeked of rusty metal and sea salt. And upon remembering all of this, the taste of the blood running down my throat became utterly nauseating.

"Ugh…" I moaned.

"That's more like it," Edward grinned.

When we finally reached the house, he laid me on the black leather couch in his room and went to get a paper towel to soak up the blood. He returned quickly and sat down next to me, pulling out my lip and dabbed at the blood. He had a frighteningly serious look on his face. A look I remembered all too well.

"You have to change me back, Edward. You know that."

He sighed. "Yes, Bella, I know." He looked up from my freely bleeding lip into my now chocolate brown eyes. His stare was entrancing. I could see a million different emotions behind his eyes, and yet, I couldn't put my finger on what even one of them was.

I suddenly felt a very strange feeling sweeping over my brain. I had no idea what it was, but I could feel my eyes rolling into the back of my head. I swayed where I sat, unable to keep my head up high for a moment longer.

"Bella?!" Edward was worried. I could hear it, but I couldn't seem to open my mouth to tell him not to worry. I didn't have enough energy in me.

Exhaustion collapsed on top of me, as if the past eleven, sleepless years had been building up right over my head. And now, it exploded on me, raining over every fiber of my body. I couldn't continue to sit like this. I had to lie down. Had to _sleep._

And so I did. Without further ado, I fell forward into Edward and a deep, unconscious sleep.

I dreamed. I couldn't remember what the last dream I'd had had been about, but I knew I was dreaming now.

It had to be a dream, because Jacob Black was standing over me and the sun was coming from somewhere behind his head. He smiled broadly when I opened my eyes and offered me his hand.

"C'mon, Bella, I gotta show you something!"

I took his hand – of course – and followed him up a dark path through the woods.

"Jake? Where are we going?" I laughed, so happy that my friend was here with me that I didn't take notice to what was happening to him.

He spoke away from me so that I couldn't see his face, but his voice sounded strange – eerie. "I've got something I want to show you, Bella. Something I _know_ you'll love."

His eerie voice was making me nervous. I stopped walking and wrenched my deathly cold hand away from his fiery grip.

"What's going on Jacob?" I hollered at him. He stopped in his tracks and slowly turned around to face me. I let a bloodcurdling scream emit from my lips at the sight of his face.

Jacob's hair was still cropped short and close to his head, but that was the only thing that was the same. His russet skin was pallid and washed out and his eyes were a petrifying crimson red. When he smiled wickedly at me, his teeth were as blindingly white as Carlisle's.

"Don't be afraid, Bells. I won't hurt you. I just want to show you something."

"Jacob, what have they done to you?" I took a step back.

"The same thing they did to you," he stated matter-of-factly, still smiling.

There was something about that smile that scared the hell out of me. All my instincts told me to run away from Jacob Black, but my heart had its own ideas. I took a step forward, reaching a hand out to him. Stretching my arm as far as it would go. "Jacob…" I whispered.

At my motion, his face looked troubled – undecided. His eyes reflected pain out at me, and his brow puckered in concern. The creepy smile was wiped away from his face and the corners of his lips turned down. He reached a pale, washed out arm toward me. We started to close the space that was between us. I met his outstretched arms in a hug and let him pull me hard into his chest.

"Jacob… what has happened to you?" I whispered into his shoulder.

"I couldn't stay away from you Bella, but I couldn't get near you as a werewolf…"

"What? Jacob… _What?_" I started to realize how much this dream didn't make sense. Jacob? A vampire? Never. I'd just learned that Jacob Black was dead. This dream was ridiculous. I tried to get myself to wake up.

C'Mon, Bella, time to get back to the real world… 

But my body wouldn't listen.

"I'm a vampire, Bella. Just like you. Edward thought he killed me, but he didn't. I was just unconscious. When I woke up, I was one of you. I didn't know what to do, so I left town. But now I'm back, Bells. Just for you. I'm back for you. I'm back for you. _I'm back for you…_"

My eyelids wrenched apart and I stared up at a ceiling. My heart was racing and I was panting, hard. Where was I? What was happening? Why was my heart pounding so hard?

"Good morning, sleepy-head." Edward sat in a matching black leather chair across the room. He was sitting, contempt and rolling the edges of a CD between his hands.

"I fell asleep?"

He nodded. Then he smirked. "Convinced you're human now?"

"How long was I out?" I asked, rubbing my temple.

"Not too long… only twenty-four hours," he teased, his eyes glistening with cheerfulness.

I felt a warm sensation creeping up my cheeks. A blush.

He looked at me in awe before saying, "That blush on your cheeks is so lovely."

I blushed further.

"Well, I suppose if I've got enough blood to blush, I'm about ready for a change, aren't I?"

I watched his beautiful golden eyes dull a bit. "Yes, I suppose you are… but before I do it, I want to check something…" and in an instant he was sitting beside me. He tentatively took my hand in his own. He looked back up at me, his eyes shimmering. "You're warm again." He told me.

I could feel how cold he was. I leaned into his chest and let him encircle me with his arms.

I wasn't sure how long we sat like that – it could have been hours. But then my stomach growled loudly and rudely. Edward chuckled.

"I prepared for this…" he smiled and his hand disappeared down the side of the couch. A bag with two golden yellow arches and a grease stain on the bottom appeared when his hand returned. My eyes widened at the greasy, unhealthy fast food. I looked at him excitedly.

"I get to taste food?" I half-yelled in delight.

He chuckled again, "I think you do."

I greedily grabbed the bag from his grasp and tore through it, finding the salty, greasy fries and pushing one into my mouth. Why had I turned those chicken nuggets down the other day? As bad as the grease was for me, it tasted _so_ good! I gobbled down the fries in no time and started on the double cheeseburger. It was all a little cold, but I didn't care. It was _food_. I was eating real _food._

Once my stomach was satisfied, I looked at Edward expectantly.

"Well, now I've had my fun being human, and you've had yours. We should get this over with…" I didn't want to tell him about my dream.

"Now, hold on," Edward said, only faintly amused, "How was the nap? The first sleep you've gotten in eleven years? It must be completely refreshing. Did you dream at all?"

I winced. I should have known he'd ask.

"No, not at all, yes it was refreshing. I enjoyed it. Let's do it!"

Edward chuckled somberly. "You still talk you know…"

I swallowed, slightly surprised at the actual saliva that I gulped. "What did you hear?" I whispered.

"A great deal about Jacob Black."

I squeezed my eyes shut. "Like?" I prompted.

Edward looked at me with concern. "What was the dream about?" he answered my question with a question.

I looked up at him, my eyes hard. I was going to become a good liar.

"It was just a dream that he was transforming into a wolf and I didn't know what was going on." I said flatly.

I wasn't exactly sure why I was lying to Edward, but my instincts told me not to let him in; to lie to him about the dream and make him believe it was something different at all costs. The dream had seemed more like a warning – a premonition. But that was Alice's field to play, not mine. I tried to ignore it.

Edward was looking at me inquisitively. I could see that he was not going to let the subject drop so I said, "Edward, can we please just get this over with? I'm not exactly looking forward to the pain again… I just want it to be over as quick as possible."

His expression softened and he nodded.

I took a deep breath. Here we go again.

I shook all my hair over to my right, exposing the pale flesh of the left side of my neck to him. I felt him hesitate, and then he leaned in toward my throat. He paused there, and his cool breath sent a shiver down my spine.

Suddenly I felt very nervous. I was about to endure three days of the same agony that I had felt eleven years ago. It would be hell.

But there was no turning back now. Not now that Edward finally let his teeth sink into my skin. I moaned a little at the pain, but it would be nothing compared to the three days ahead of me. I was thankful for the sleep I had gotten. It would be impossible to sleep in the crippling pain that faced me.

Edward let his teeth stay in the wound for a moment, letting more of the venom get into my bloodstream, before he backed away from me. He was so strong, I thought, resisting my blood so well…

Then I felt the venom starting to spread.

It was a horrifying, burning sensation at first. The venom clung to my blood cells and with every beat of my heart it spread to more of them. I moaned again. This is nothing, I reminded myself. The affected areas went up in flames. I could feel my skin melting off of my bones. But when I looked over at my left, burning arm, the skin was still perfectly in tact. I gripped the side of the sofa and squeezed my eyes shut, hard. _Not that bad…_ I told myself, _it's not that bad, yet…_ Yet. But it would get there.

I tried to stay strong while the venom rubbed off onto the rest of my blood stream. I whimpered when it hit my heart, though. The real pain was about to start.

Suddenly I felt a stabbing, piercing pain in my scalp, as if a thousand daggers had been thrown at that area alone. The penetrating feeling trickled unbearably slowly down every last inch of my skin for hours, finally stopping at the tip of my big toe. I had kept quiet during the invisible knives painful journey but for a few cries as they reached the especially sensitive areas of my body unmercifully. I knew it was necessary for the knives to invisibly scrape up my weak human skin and replace it with the hard marble armor that I was meant to wear, but it didn't make the pain any more endurable. _Ouch…ouch…OUCH!_

The pinpricks attacked next. Like acupuncture with a sick twist. I screamed bloodcurdlingly as invisible pins pushed their way into my corneas. It didn't matter that my eyelids were closed, the needles had to make my vision better, more acute. _Just let it end…just stop this madness!_

I almost welcomed the claws that, metaphorically, ripped my ears off then. At least, that's what it _felt_ like. Like something was tearing my ears right off of the side of my head so that it could get in and "correct" my hearing. _Because it's so necessary that I hear something that's miles away_, I thought bitterly. But I knew, in the long run, I would be grateful for it someday.

I convulsed like an epileptic on the sofa when the inner venom went back to work. I felt it stopping my stomach, liver, bladder, and other internal organs. Everything but my heart ceased to work.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I was vaguely aware of Edward sitting next to me, holding my hand tightly and whispering words of encouragement. I heard him humming a familiar song – my lullaby. Tears leaked out my eyes, but not because of the pain. I wanted to thank him, wanted to look over into his gorgeous face and feel the pain simmer away, but I couldn't open my eyes or my mouth.

The burning came back, finishing up the muscles – making them more powerful than any human's were ever meant to be. _Here we go…_

Then the electricity came. Although it was, by far, the most painful stage of the transformation, I welcomed it. It meant that it would all be over soon. It was as though every cell in my body were sitting in its own special electric chair. Like I had a lightening rod sticking out the top of my head, the charges shot through me, damaging my nerves and taste buds. The electricity took the feeling away. Made me numb to any kind of pain. I screamed and writhed in pain, feeling that the only thing keeping me on the soft couch were Edward's insistent hands.

Finally, after two days of sweating, shrieking, and swearing, my heart stopped beating.

And, as though it were all a dream, I opened my eyes, blinking, looking around to find Edward. I found his topaz eyes in no time and raised myself onto my elbows to get a better look at him. His expression was solemn. It had been the last time, too. He hated converting me – causing me so much physical pain. He threw me a weak smile, and I beamed back at him. His smile widened a bit and finally touched his eyes.

I leapt off the couch – nearly cracking my skull on the ceiling – and landed gracefully, thank God, in his lap. I attacked him with kisses, wrapping my arms around his neck. It took him a moment to get into it – post-transformation depression – but he soon curled his strong arms around me and pulled me in close to him.

I was a vampire again! And this time, everything really _was_ as it should be. A clean slate was placed before me, and I wasn't going to take it for granted. I would hunt animals with the Cullen family and keep my distance from humans that tempted me. I would be a good girl. And for the next few days, I was.

I completely forgot about the dream.

It seemed that some of me had changed during the second transformation as well. A lot of things were the same, like my peculiar human qualities and – though I admitted it to no one but Edward – my uncanny gift to see human pasts. But some things were _very_ different.

"Bella! You're positively gorgeous!" Alice exclaimed when she saw my new transformation.

"Thanks…?"

Edward shot her a dirty look.

"I mean, more than before, of course," she added on quickly. "But look! You have _curves!_"

I stood uncomfortably as every eye in the room examined my suddenly visible chest. After a few moments I groaned. "Alice!"

There was no reason, now, not to pay Charlie a visit. I was in control of my desire for human blood, and, besides, Charlie would want to hear from me. Wouldn't he?

Edward came with me, one evening, to visit him. This time we took the Volvo.

I looked up at the house that had grown so familiar to me so many years ago. It didn't seem familiar at all – the once neat and tidy lawn was growing wildly out of control and dandelions sprouted in more than many areas. The bench on the porch was broken and forgotten spider webs clung to its remains. The windows were all in tact, but the curtains behind the front window had fallen on one side and were hanging crookedly. I looked at Edward; his face was serious.

"Charlie didn't do so well once you left."

I understood. Looking up at the little house, I felt a new wave of guilt drowning me. I had made Charlie miserable.

Edward opened my door for me, helping me out of the car. I took a deep breath and walked up to the front door. I thought about just going on in, but decided that if I caught Charlie with his pants off… well, that was an image I could live without.

I rapped my knuckles on the wood three times.

I heard some movement behind the frame of the door, the slide of the deadbolt, and finally the creak of the hinges and the overwhelming smell of… _home._

"Bella?" Charlie seemed surprised and tentatively pleased.

"Hi, Dad."

"What brings you here this fine evening?"

I smiled and stepped forward, Edward close behind. "I just wanted to pay my old man a visit," I flashed my teeth at him and instantly regretted doing so. Charlie got nervous at the sight of my unnaturally white grin.

"O- oh." He stuttered.

"So, um, how have you been?" I tried to act as if nothing had happened.

"I- I've been alright. Gotten better. How about you?" he quickly said. I sighed. He was hurrying the conversation. He wanted me to leave.

"Good, Dad. Just great."

"G-g-good. Um… is there anything I can get you?"

I figured I could make a joke about my blood thirst, but Charlie probably wouldn't find it funny. "Nope. I'm all set."

"Well if there's anything you needed…" he pressured, taking a step toward the doorframe, about to usher us out.

But there was no need. Edward suddenly grabbed my wrist and slammed me toward the wall, pinning me there with his body. His eyes narrowed and he looked at the closed door as if he were waiting for – or anticipating, rather – the hurried knocking that came next.

From what I could see underneath Edward's arm, Charlie made a movement toward the door.

"Don't answer that, Charlie. Not if you want to live," Edward hissed dangerously. I watched Charlie's face pale.

There was silence for a minute before the knocking came again. It seemed urgent, frantic almost. Why weren't we letting whoever was out there in? What if it was someone who needed help? Who was seeking refuge?

"Charlie, I know you're in there. Let me in!" an irritated voice called through the oak.

I recognized that voice… that husky, grumbling, always-angry voice…

I stared at the door, unable to believe. _Impossible…_I thought.

"Alright then, I'm coming in!"

Slowly, as if the suspense had slowed down time, the doorknob twisted. I heard the hinges creak and I looked under Edward's arm to see the face that belonged to the voice – to see if it was really who I thought it was. But then Edward leaped away from me, slamming his entire body against the door – probably nearly cracking it in half – pushing it closed again. The knocking came louder and more frequently now as Edward worked to keep the door closed and slide the deadbolt into place.

"CHARLIE!" the disembodied voice roared. "OPEN THE DAMNED DOOR!"

Edward looked at me, pleadingly. I just stared back at him. I didn't know what emotion was on my face right now. I wasn't even sure how I was supposed to react. The only thing that I knew was that Jacob Black was on the other side of that door.

**So there you have it. My perspective of the transformation. I'm still not completely happy with it, but let me know what you think!**

**THANK YOU for all the lovely reviews! Keep it uppp. :)**


	8. R E S U R R E C T I O N S

**Song Why Worry by The All-American Rejects**

**Sorry it took me so long to update, guys. I've been tinkering with it for a while now, and I'm _still_ not completely happy with it. :-/ I don't know, you're gonna have to tell me what you think. :) I am absolutely LOVING the reviews. Keep it up! It's definitely an esteem booster.**

**So, besides Jacob's return, this chapter is mostly a bridge. A very long bridge that I slaved over for hours and that you should totally review. :)**

**Here we gooooo!**

7. R E S U R R E C T I O N S

The knocking stopped and Jacob's resigned voice came through the oak once more, "Charlie… I-I've got to talk to you…"

My dead – again – heart reached out to Jacob then. He sounded so worried, so pressured, so… _scared_. I finally felt my face again, the numbness slipping away. I looked at Edward who was still looking at me like he was trying to ask me something. I glared at him. I put as much menace into my facial features as I could summon. Why had he lied to me? What on earth had given him the motivation to lie to me about something as important as my best friend?

I marched over to the door. Edward tensed – he obviously did not intend to budge from his place against the door. But with a newfound strength that I didn't know I had, I forcefully grabbed his wrist and yanked him out of my way. His eyes bulged against his head in surprise.

"Bella!" he whispered – so soft _I_ almost didn't hear him – "I'm _begging_ you, do not open that door! His intentions are not good!"

I should have trusted Edward. He could read minds, after all. But the trust for Edward that had once been so strong was diminished by his lie. I sent him another sinister glare and jerked back the deadbolt so hard that it almost broke off. My hand was on the doorknob in another instant and I wrenched the door open at once and a gasp emitted my lips when I saw what I did. For Edward really _had_ killed Jacob, after all.

Jacob was not the best friend I remembered. He had no warmth, no smile, no happiness haloing around him. His eyes didn't sparkle and it looked like there was no smile left in him. A rush of memories came back and I remembered that I had not left _my_ Jacob – my beautiful, beaming, benevolent Jacob – I had left _Sam's _Jacob. And even though this Jake was neither of ours, he resembled Sam's the most.

Jacob was, indeed, a vampire. There was no getting around it. No force of nature could have kept him looking the way he had eleven years ago. His russet skin could not have naturally paled and looked so washed out. But most of all, nothing in the world could have given his eyes the hostile, hungry look they had been given. I noticed that around the limpid black irises there was a perimeter of red. I shook my head and felt my eyes beginning to burn. Jacob's disturbing expression had not softened when he saw me, and he had yet to meet my eyes.

"Jacob…" I whispered.

Instead of answering, Jacob swooped around me, into the house, and sat down on the couch that Charlie had so many times before. But he was not here to watch the basketball game. It seemed he had more important things to worry about these days.

Realizing that my old friend was not planning on acknowledging me, I regained a little dignity. "Jacob." I said, more forcefully this time. He still didn't look at me, staring at the black screen of the TV. "Damn it, Jacob, look at me!" I roared inhumanly loudly.

Slowly, as if he feared what he might see, Jacob turned his head in my direction. He must have thought he could fool me, because his eyes never met mine. "Charlie." He stated in the same resigned voice I had just heard on the other side of the door – a voice that did not match his harsh face. "I need to talk to you. Alone."

I felt something boiling inside of me, I wasn't sure if it was sadness or anger. Anger, more likely, I thought.

"No." Edward growled.

As if Jacob had been anticipating this, he leapt from the couch and was in front of Edward, staring him down before I could blink an eye. Edward stared back, apparently not as surprised by Jacob's speed as I was.

"Don't. Ever. Address me." Jacob snarled. I cringed at the pure hatred that emanated from his voice.

"Jacob!" I yelled. "Jacob, _talk_ to me!"

Finally Jacob turned his thirsty eyes on me. I was taken aback by the emotion revealed in them. It wasn't the anger I expected – the anger his face showed – but complete and utter agony. Anguish wailed at me from behind those eyes, and I couldn't understand why.

"I have nothing to say to you, Bella." His voice matched his face, but neither matched his eyes.

I recovered my composure at his words. "Well I have things I want to say to you."

I could hear a heart hammering as if it were a beat in a club. I looked over at Charlie who was staring at each of the vampires in his house, new fear spreading at the sight of each of us in turn.

"But… perhaps we could take this elsewhere?" I suggested. There was no point in making my father wet himself from fright.

Edward nodded, but Jacob clenched his jaw and growled through his teeth, "I need to talk to Charlie for the millionth time."

"Well anything you say to my father can be said in front of me."

Jacob shook his head vigorously. "Not this," His face was set in stone, but his eyes still reflected the inner battle of suffering and rage.

"I'm not going anywhere, Jacob," I refused to give up so easily. If I left Charlie alone in a room with a thirsty vampire, things could happen. And I would _never_ forgive myself – for the rest of eternity – if I stood by and let something bad happen to Charlie.

This was the point at which, I remembered, Jacob would start shaking from head to foot in fury – about to turn into a werewolf. But he didn't shake from anger; he simply clenched his fists and spun around to face Charlie, advancing on him.

"No!" I called out.

"I'm not going to touch him!" Jacob flipped around and glowered.

My face relaxed and I watched. I felt Edward shift beside me, tensing. I watched Jacob with everything I had in me. If he made _one_ move to hurt Charlie…

"Charlie…" Jacob said, his voice shaking. I watched, in amazement, as Charlie's expression softened from fear to compassion. How could he have compassion for Jacob and not his own daughter? I felt vaguely disappointed, but was too focused on this conversation to let it affect me much.

"They want me to take her, now."

Three things seemed to happen at once. Edward snarled the most horrifyingly antagonistic snarl I'd ever heard and leapt in front of me. Charlie's face crumpled from comfort to fear again. And Jacob sank to his knees, letting dry sobs shake his whole body.

This was not good. I could tell this was _not_ good. Who were "they"? And, judging by Edward's reaction, "her" meant "Bella". No, this was _really_ not good.

"What?" I murmured to Edward, temporarily forgetting my anger with him for lying to me. "Who are 'they'?"

Edward kept his disgusted focus on Jacob as he breathed through clenched teeth, "The Volturi."

Instead of the immense fear I should have felt, I sighed jadedly. I should have known it would have been something along those lines. What I wanted to know was how on _earth_ Jacob had gotten mixed up in their antics? No, scratch that. I wanted to know how Jacob was a vampire when his destiny called him to be a werewolf.

"Jacob."

He looked up from his pallid hands to meet my gaze.

"We need to talk."

To my surprise, he nodded. Finally agreeing. "But not here and not with _him_." He gestured to Edward.

I was slightly uncomfortable with speaking with a minion of the Volturi who had been sent to retrieve me for them alone. "Edward comes with me."

I saw Jacob's eyes flash. "Fine. But don't blame me if…" but he didn't finish the sentence before standing and trudging out the front door.

Mumbling a quick goodbye to Charlie, I followed him with Edward close at my heels. We marched out to the woods that I had last seen Jacob in, the woods Edward had left me in, and the same woods that a pack of werewolves had been killed in eleven years ago. These woods were not filled with good memories, and a few more were about to be made, I felt.

"Jacob…" I began, "What happened?"

He sighed. I was sure this was a long story. "Honestly… I don't know. I don't know how I was changed into those I hunted. Those I still hunt," his voice was very serious. "I'm a very special vampire, Bella.

"It was the strangest thing that had ever happened to any of us. Werewolves, I mean. We all know that when vampire venom mixes with werewolf blood… well the result is… catastrophic. The fire of our blood and the icy burn of their venom clash and when the two are put together, the werewolf dies. But I didn't, and there isn't one day I don't wish I had," the emotion in his voice made it shake, "I don't know why I didn't, but all of my brothers… they _all_ died," he scowled at Edward, "_You_ killed them."

"Jacob…" I said softly, trying to bring him back to me; trying to keep his focus off of Edward. "What happened then?"

His eyes glazed over, looking at something millions of miles away. "I woke up from transforming, and I didn't know where I was. I thought Sam had taken the rest of the pack and me somewhere away from the vampires – the last thing I remembered before I passed out was you running away, Bella," he seemed to snap back to reality when he said my name. He looked over at me, and a confusing mixture of emotion played across his face again. The lines etched in his forehead were genuinely worried.

"I didn't know what had happened. I just woke up and I was in a place I didn't recognize. It didn't look like anywhere I'd ever been, and it didn't _smell_ like anywhere I'd ever been. I didn't know what it smelled like. It was sweet and icy and minty and spicy all at the same time. It smelled like vampires, but it didn't smell _bad_. That's what scared me first. But then… then I felt this horrible, burning, dry feeling in my throat. I was so thirsty, but I didn't want water. Drinking water didn't seem satisfying enough. Water was too thin, too… tasteless. The feeling went deeper than thirst – I was _hungry._ I was scared, Bells. Really scared. I didn't know why I wanted blood so bad. I looked around where I was and realized I wasn't even in Forks anymore. When I found the bathroom… I looked in the mirror and… Bella, I was _one of them_," he shook his head ashamedly. I pursed my lips. I decided now was not the time to remind him that _I_ was one of them.

"I found out that that vampire we'd been hunting, Victoria, had taken me to Ireland. She'd taken me to her house and held me hostage there. She poked and probed, and I'd finally had enough," Jacob paused and let his eyes slide away from mine. He looked down at his feet and whispered, "I changed into a werewolf and killed her one night."

My jaw – which had already dropped when he'd told me that Victoria had taken him captive – felt like it might dislocate from my skull. "You- you're _both_?" I stammered.

Jacob – whose eyes were still fixated on his feet – nodded slowly. "It's my gift," he stated solemnly. "I was a werewolf in the life before I was a vampire, and I can be a werewolf now. I can only get it to happen when I am extremely angry. That's what they've been trying to figure out in training… how to channel my energy so I can change at will again. It's horrible. It's like, I'm my own worst enemy _all_ the _time_," His words were as anguished as his eyes now, and his hard face was starting to melt.

He looked up then and went on with his story. "After I murdered her after so long, I wasn't satisfied. I had killed her, but I was still hungry. I did the stupidest…" his voice trailed, "I went into town and…" Jacob shook his head, squeezed his eyes shut and rubbed his temples vigorously as if it could erase the past. If he could cry, I knew he would have.

"Bella," Jacob suddenly looked up, focusing his gaze on me, telling me with everything he had in him that he was sincere. "I'm not going to take you to the Volturi."

For the first time, I remembered Edward was there with me, and I only remembered because he grabbed my hand. I thought about yanking it away – I was still mad – but decided against it. He could explain himself later…

"Why not, Jake? They'll kill you if they find out that you had a perfectly good chance and didn't take it. And they'll be able to find out as easily as touching your hand," then I remembered my earlier thoughts. "How did you get mixed up with the Volturi anyway?" I inquired almost angrily.

"Well… I left Ireland, and I wanted to go somewhere I knew I could find a coven. I remembered you talking about the Volturi and Italy and I just went. I didn't know… I had no idea…" his face showed the horror of his memories. "They're terrible."

"I know."

"No. You don't. And that's why I won't take you. If you don't join them, they won't spare you."

I shook my head. "They would. They let Edward and Alice go without joining their ranks…" I hated to think about Volterra… it never failed to get me into a depressed state of mind.

"But things have changed."

I was confused. What could have changed? Aro ran the show over there, and he was fairly generous. Unless something had happened to Aro, I doubted anything could change that much.

Jacob sighed, reading the incomprehension on my face. The more I talked to him, the more he looked like his old self. The lines of anger that had appeared to be permanent on his face had faded, and his eyes – though still anguished – were softer. He reached out and took the hand that Edward wasn't clasping and held it in between his large palms. His skin was still blazing hot. "There is a new coven in their ranks. It won't be long, now, until they've taken over completely. I don't know why or how, but they've gotten close to Aro, Marcus, and Caius. They act like their advisors now. They won't spare you if I take you to them. That's why I agreed to be the one to come and get you. I could warn you and escape myself."

Edward spoke for the first time; "But Aro's never had the need for advisors before… why would he so suddenly?"

Jacob flinched at Edward's voice but he kept his eyes on mine when he said "I think they've probably been messing with their heads. I don't know what their gifts are, but they're powerful – elite."

"I see…" Edward said slowly, as if he were thinking something through. "But you've killed Victoria? That's good…" I could tell he was trying to be friendly to Jacob, but Jake didn't want it.

"Yes," he said, breaking his eyes away from mine and focusing them on Edward's. Jacob's eyes were glinting sinisterly, "and it was _easy_."

I could tell the conversation was about to take a turn for the worse. "Well," I began, "we should probably get back sometime soon so Carlisle doesn't worry…" I was pulling an excuse out of thin air, but Edward nodded. Jacob looked troubled, though.

"Wait…" he said as we turned to leave. Edward's face had been set in determination to leave, but as we took a few steps, it shifted immediately to surprise.

"Really?" he asked, turning.

I rolled my eyes. He must have read his mind.

Jacob nodded, almost ashamedly. "I couldn't do it myself. I tried, but… I couldn't do it. And I figured if I have to be a monster, I might as well try to be less of one…"

It didn't take me long to catch on.

"Come with us, then. I'm sure Carlisle would be happy to help you," Edward seemed a little stiff about letting Jacob come with us. I sighed. Stupid, jealous vampire.

Jacob's face lightened up and he scrambled after us.

It was just as I'd thought. Jacob didn't want to drink human blood anymore, and Carlisle _was_ more than happy to help. There must be something wrong with this family, I thought, shaking my head. They were almost defective in their willingness to forgive. I couldn't shake the overbearing feeling that having Jacob around would make things different. Awkward at times, or maybe jealous. I knew it would be like World War Three with Edward and him, and I wasn't sure if I wanted to be a peacemaker for the next… how long _was_ Jacob staying anyway? It wasn't that I didn't want him here – he was my best friend, and I hadn't seen him in God knows how long – but I did need time to be alone with Edward and, judging by the way he was protecting me, Jacob wasn't "over" me. You'd think eleven years and a transformation into one of his mortal enemies would make a guy get over you…

Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Rosalie went out to hunt with Jacob that night. I stayed with Edward, Jasper, and Emmett and was planning on forcing the truth out of them.

"Why didn't you tell me the truth?" I tried to ask Edward with anger. But I was too comfortable sitting in his lap on the sofa in the living room to get much menace into my voice.

"I did tell you the truth!" he insisted, "I told you what I _thought_ was the truth, and that counts as telling you the truth. It isn't my fault that he didn't really die… well I suppose it is… but that's besides the point."

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "Then why weren't you planning on letting him into Charlie's house?"

Edward's face darkened when he answered, "Because before he saw you, he _was_ going to take you to the Volturi."

I stared at him. "But… He's changed his mind now, right? He's not going to betray me, is he?"

His face stayed in the same bleak expression. "From what I can tell he's not planning on it. But we can't get complacent with him here, Bella. We must be on our guard. Understand?"

I nodded. But it was hard for me to believe that Jacob would betray me like that.

"So… did Billy know that Jacob had turned into a vampire? Or does he really think he's dead?"

"He really thinks he's dead." Edward sighed, "And I don't know if it would help his opinion on the matter if he knew what he was or not."

We sat like that for who knows how long, his thumb making circles on the back of my hand. His hand didn't seem so cool now that I was newly transformed again.

I wondered if he had kept his word and not said anything to Alice about my gift. "You never told Alice, right?" I asked him.

"Told Alice what?" came a new voice. A voice that I had temporarily forgotten inhabited the house. Jasper came from the other room, looking curious. Curse my naturally carrying voice!

"Nothing." I said quickly.

Jasper's curious expression darkened. "Bella, what are you keeping from us?"

"Nothing." I repeated anxiously.

And then it came – the sweeping sensation of ease. Everything was alright, there were no vicious vampires after me. Jacob Black wouldn't complicate things. And why shouldn't Alice know about her past?

"Now I'll ask you again. Bella, what are you keeping from us?"

Edward spoke up, "Jazz, that's not fair. You shouldn't probe her while she's under the influence of your power…"

"Fine, then, Edward. _You_ can tell me."

"Oh, no. I'm not getting into this…"

"Getting into what?" Emmett's voice entered the conversation. He must have noticed me then because he groaned and said, "Jazz, you really shouldn't drug Bella up so much. It's unhealthy. She _does_ need to feel things, you know."

"Bella, what are you keeping from us?" Jasper's voice was so insistent.

"My gift."

The entire room went silent. Emmett gave up trying to get Jasper to back off, his own curiosity ignited.

"Guys, back off of her," Edward said, a little defensively. I wondered why. He _had_ wanted me to tell them after all. Now I was about to and he was trying to stop them.

"Oh, don't be silly, Edward. It's not that big of a deal." I grinned up at him.

"Bella. You're not thinking like normal because Jasper's using his powers on you. You're drunk, so to speak. You don't _really_ want to spill your guts."

I heard the distant sound of a door opening and voices in the front hall. The rest of the family was back from hunting. As they filtered in, I felt the easy, drunken stupor slipping away. I glared at Jasper and leapt up from the couch, making my way toward the stairs.

"Carlisle," Jasper voiced. _No,_ I silently moaned.

"Yes, Jasper?" Carlisle asked politely.

"Bella knows what her gift is. And she won't tell us."

That tattletale. I resisted the urge to stick out my tongue.

"Bella? Is this true?" Carlisle asked, looking curious and somewhat disappointed.

Looking down at my feet, I nodded my head.

"Why don't you want to tell us, honey?" Esme asked maternally.

I looked up into her eyes. Then into every one of their eyes in turn. "I don't want you to ask me to use it. I don't want to put you through that emotional pain…"

"Bella, my sweet, I'm sure we can handle whatever it is…" and this time, Edward was the one who shook his head.

"She warned me. I didn't take her seriously and it was… it really _was_ bad."

The interest level in the faces around me increased. Why did they have to be so nosy?

I sighed. I would have to tell them sooner or later, why not now?

"I can see your human lives."

The silence that followed was painful.

"Why… why would you keep this from me?" Alice asked, hurt etched very deeply in her face.

"I'm afraid for what we might see…"

Alice shook her head. "I want to know. I want to know more than I want to know anything," and I could tell that it was truth. Her eyes were wide with questions. "Show me. Please, Bella, if you care about me at all, _show me_. Show me who I was."

I looked at her, indecision clawing at my lifeless heart. I couldn't take it if her eyes were never happy again. But if I didn't show her, she would never forgive me.

"Alright. But, Alice? Will you promise this won't change anything?"

Alice's eyes were wide and shining with excitement. "I swear, Bella. If it's really going to be that bad, I won't hold you responsible at all."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I wasn't sure how I was going to come out of this one, but I walked over to Alice and took her hand in mine. Then I reached to the back of her mind with mine, to show her what she so desperately wanted to see.


	9. P U P P E T E E R

**ok, so since i have no life, here's an update.**

**this was an unbelievably difficult chapter to write because i know so little about Alice's actual past. so i improviseddd. :) i hope it's believable. **

**also for Rosalie's past - i don't think that actually happened, but i couldn't remember reading anything about how she almost died. just that she was meant for Edward. :-/ so i just had fun with that. :)**

**for this chapter's song - you tell me. i am always open to new music, so i'll make it a contest. whoever suggests the song that i think is best (YES it's going to be opionated) gets a role in probably the rest of the story. just leave the song, lyrics, and your name. :)**

**I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR ALL THE AMAZING REVIEWS! i can't tell you what a moral booster it is to hear that someone out there actually _enjoys_ to read something that i've been working my butt off for:) seriously. love it. **

**so here we go - chapter eight. hope you like it:-/**

8. P U P P E T E E R

I stood, my hand squeezing Alice's, outside a plain white door. I looked down the hallway to my right. It seemed we were in a hospital of some kind… an asylum.

"Right this way, Mary, dear," I heard a crackling, honey-sweet old woman's voice say. I felt Alice's head snap to the left where the noise had come from and I followed suite. I felt my heart sadden at what I saw.

There were five people, two of which were dressed entirely in white, herding a young, human Alice to one of the wards. Alice was beautiful, even in her mortal life. Her black hair was longer, dropping down to her waist, and her skin was flawless – porcelain. Her eyes were large and chocolate brown; the same color mine were when I was a human.

The people following her looked as if they weren't sure whether or not she belonged here. They must have been her parents. It was obvious, now I thought about it. Her father had the same black hair and chocolate brown eyes, and her mother had the same pixie-like bone structure. The third of her family had to be her sister, Cynthia. She was young, maybe three or four, and she looked exactly like Alice. I noticed her fragile cheeks were shining with tears.

The other two – the workers leading her in – were both very old, seemingly ancient. One was a man and the other was a woman – it looked as though they were married. Though they were old and creased, there was beauty in their age. The lines etched in their pale faces appeared to be bottomless, and their eyes told me they knew things, had seen things that most would never know or see. On further observation of their eyes, I could see they were both "vegetarian" vampires, and the man's eyes were black with thirst.

He was holding his breath, I could see, and he seemed to have that same hostile glare that Edward had given me almost fourteen years ago on my first day of high school in Forks. His lust for Alice's blood was as strong as Edward's had been for mine, but he was determined to fight it off. He continued to lead Alice to the ward alongside his wife, trying to act as though it were no problem.

I felt my breath catch. Something stirred in my very distant memories… _"You see, the vampire that was so stupidly fond of this little victim made the choice that your Edward was too weak to make. When the old one knew I was after his little friend, he stole her from the asylum where he worked a – I _never_ will understand the obsession some vampires seem to form with you humans – and as soon as he freed her he made her safe…"_

This was the "old one" James had been talking about so many years ago. This was the man that would change Alice…

"NO! NO! NO! HE'LL FIND ME HERE, HE'LL FIND ME!" Alice began to screech and squirm in her captivators' hands, horror screaming from every movement of her body. "HE'LL GET ME! HE'LL FIND ME! I'M DEAD!"

Alice's mother stopped walking and broke into sobs and her father stopped to comfort her. Cynthia looked unsure of whether she should go with her sister or stay her parents and just stopped walking and waved sadly at Alice's writhing back.

The scene began to change. We were in a room with the two old workers again. Alice sat in a chair – looking very sedated – while the woman cut her long hair off into the short little pixie cut that I had grown so used to. The man was there, holding her hand…

The scene changed again, and Alice was being forced into a white nightgown. By the woman, the man talked to her calmly, asking her questions like, "What's your favorite color?" The same kind of questions Edward had asked me when he was getting to know me…

Another scene change and we were in a small, white, padded room with Alice. She was lying in her bed, staring up at the ceiling. There were no windows in the room, and it would have been very dark to the human eye. But the Alice standing next to me and I could see perfectly.

Mary Alice Brandon began crying, whimpering the same thing over and over again: "He'll find me, he'll find me, he'll find me…"

James. She had to be talking about James. She must have had a vision about James locating her and what he would do to her once she'd been discovered. Suddenly, the door to the ward opened sending a blinding ray of light into the dark room. The old man who had been leading Alice down the hallway stepped in stealthily.

"Time to leave this place, Mary," he said, picking her up with a strength that would have been impossible for anyone who was mortally his age.

The man carried her out of the room and down the white hallway.

The scene before our eyes changed again, the walls dissolving around us. Alice and I watched as the old man quickly ran Alice into the woods. He was looking around himself, as if he feared he was being followed. Actually, he probably _was_ being followed. He set her down and looked at her seemingly lifeless form for a moment, a troubled expression clouding his face.

"I'm sorry, Mary," he whispered, and then reached down and sunk his pearl white teeth into Alice's neck.

Alice's eyes shot open and she screamed. The sound was heart wrenching, not because it wasn't a scream of fear or pain. It was a scream of jubilance – pure, unadulterated bliss. She knew she was free, now; she knew she was in the clear.

"B-… Bella?"

I slowly turned my head to the right, preparing myself to look into Alice's disappointed, shattered, never again happy eyes.

But I was surprised to find that Alice's eyes were not dismayed at all. Her eyes were shining with emotion, but none of it was negative. She seemed… exhilarated.

"Th-Thank you," she stammered as I released her hand and the room and family around us came into focus. "That was the best thing you could have ever possibly done for me. _Thank_ you."

I couldn't believe it. She really meant it. Edward had been right.

"You're welcome, Alice."

She smiled at me and skipped over to Jasper, squeezing him tightly. I looked over at Edward. He was smiling at me, but not in the smug, I-told-you-so way that I had come to expect on his face whenever he was right, but in a reassuring way. In a you-did-the-right-thing kind of support that I had needed to see after something as heart twisting as that. I felt my eyes itching again, aching to let out the tears.

I made my way over to him and melded myself against his body, taking in his scent.

"Alice," Carlisle asked cautiously, "What did you see?"

Instead of enlightening him, Alice just shook her head, still smiling, and muttered, "I'll tell you some other time."

Carlisle nodded his head understandingly.

The rest of the night was fairly quiet. The rest of the family seemed to be avoiding me a little bit. I figured out what they were doing before long. They wanted to give me some space before bombarding me with questions of whether or not they could see their _own_ lives. It wasn't long before I had a line like at a roller coaster building up in front of me.

I wasn't sure at first. If their reactions were anything like Edward's had been, I wouldn't have wanted to show them. But I wasn't Alice; I couldn't see the future or their responses. I just had to let the dice roll on this one.

I showed Emmett when he went camping with his father and a bear started to maul him. He would have been a goner had Rosalie not been spying on him and picked him up – literally – and carried him a hundred miles for Carlisle to change him; I showed Carlisle his father putting him in charge, and then his mob race after a lethal vampire; I showed Esme her leap from a cliff and Carlisle's discovery of her; and I showed Rosalie her dramatic train wreck that, amazingly, Carlisle had been on for business. There were only two people in the house that had not approached me about their pasts: Jasper and Jacob.

I was pretty sure why Jasper hadn't asked me about his past – he didn't _want_ to remember it. Jasper had come from a vicious coven, and he probably didn't want to see how exactly he had come across it. But Jacob was a different story. I wasn't sure if it would hurt him to see it or if he just didn't want to talk to me. Regardless, I needed to talk to him. There were so many questions left unanswered, so many mysteries left unsolved from our last conversation. If he was going to stay under the same roof as me, he needed to talk to me.

I approached him one morning about it – something that had been bothering me for a while now. He was sitting in Carlisle's study, looking at one of his books.

"Jacob?"

He didn't look up from the book that he was reading when he said, "What, Bella?"

I took a deep breath and continued. I wouldn't take no for an answer. "I need to talk to you."

To my surprise, he closed his book and gestured, solemnly, at the chair next to him. I sat down and started my inquisition.

"Why did you go to Charlie when you came back? Have you been keeping in touch with him? And does Billy know about this? He'd want to know, Jacob. And what about Sam? Why did Charlie welcome you back so openly and not me? Why does Charlie know about the Volturi? What about this new coven? Why-" But Jacob finally cut me off, trying not to let the amusement show on his face.

"Alright already, Bella. I will answer all your questions, but please, slow down," he grinned. "Yes, I've kept in touch with Charlie. After I left Ireland, I came back here first. I didn't want to believe that I had become those I hated, so I came back for answers. I went to La Push first to see my father…" Jacob's face fell from the amusement I had managed to put there to chagrin. "He… didn't accept me. Even after I told him I was both." I started to see the frown lines in Jacob's smooth skin return.

His eyes flashed up to mine, "He didn't want me anywhere near him, Bells. He kept on pretending that I was dead… Sam doesn't know. Billy was too ashamed to tell him. So Sam thinks I'm dead, and it's probably better that way. If he knew that I have become a bloodsucker…" his husky voice was growing more and more belligerent as his hatred for himself grew. He must have noticed some emotion in my face because then he softened.

"I went to Charlie. I didn't know who else to go to. He's been like a second father to me for all these years before all this… this… _crap_ happened. I told him what had happened, I told him everything. Even about being a werewolf before. And he… accepted me. He took me under his wing for a while. But my thirst… it was getting out of hand. And I didn't want to hurt Charlie, so I left. To Italy. I wrote him all the time and came back to visit when I could get away for long enough. He told me he hadn't heard from you at all. He still worried about you… a lot, Bella. But he was scared, too. I mean, what did you expect? One night you just spring on him, 'my boyfriend's a vampire and now I'm gonna be one'. It's… hard for them. It's hard to believe in general, but for your parents…

"But anyway. Charlie was scared when you came back. He was scared for his life, your life, and his town's lives. And he tried to be… chivalrous. But his instincts got the better of him. That's why he didn't welcome you back as warmly as you'd have liked. And I'm sure he's sorry, but I'm also sure it's too hard for him to actually tell you all this," since when had Jacob become so good at reading people? I wondered.

I thought of Charlie and how something as simple as smiling at him had made him anxious. I wasn't used to being around people. It was something I would have to practice at if I ever wanted to have a casual conversation with my father again.

"And the new coven?" I asked. "What do you know about them?"

Jacob's face darkened. "Not much. Just that they came out of nowhere and they've just about taken over. If they find me, they'll kill me. I left their ranks and I know too much. I'm not safe, and now that I'm staying here, you're not safe. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come here…"

"No, Jacob, don't think like that. We're happy to have you here. Carlisle's always happy to have more vampires coming from the dark side and hunting animal blood instead," but Jacob was shaking his head.

"Bella, you don't understand the severity of the new coven. They're not like Aro. They've got him… hypnotized or something. It won't matter what Aro said before. It's join or die now."

I shuddered. Volterra was not a place I ever wanted to have to go to again. I had been there once and that was one to many times for my lifetime. I looked up and Jacob was staring at me.

"Bella…" his face was pained. "Bella, I missed you." I stilled. This was exactly where I had left off with Jacob. His heart was for me, and my heart was for Edward. It was a dangerous territory that needed to be steered clear of.

"So, um," I searched for a topic to keep him away from the one he was headed towards, "Why do the Volturi want me?"

Jacob's expression was still pained, but his eyes fired up a little, "Marcus can see relationships. He saw ours. He reminded Aro of a deal you'd made long ago, and Aro wants me to bring you and the other two bloodsuckers that were there before back to him. He wants to ask you again if you'd like to join his ranks. And this time, if you say no, he won't spare you. So I won't bring you. Even if it means I have to die to protect you, Bella. I will not bring you to them."

His passion caused me pain. "Jacob… you should just take me."

"What would that do, Bella?" came a new, velvety-smooth voice.

Edward glided into the study and stood over me, his eyes flaring slightly. "You would be dead, I would kill Jacob for taking you, and then I would be killed for killing a member of the Volturi."

"I'm not a member," Jacob growled lowly, his lip curling upward around his teeth.

"But you are. Even if you're not at heart, you are by unwritten contract. And I would be executed for slaughtering you." Edward's voice was hard. He seemed upset with Jacob on a further level than just being a part of the Volturi.

Jacob snarled, slammed the book in his hands on Carlisle's desk, and traipsed out of the room, stomping his feet irritably.

"Edward. Do you always talk about killing your guests right to their face?"

Edward seemed to be amused by my question. "On occasion."

I rolled my eyes, "So what was he thinking that had you so peeved?" I asked, my annoyance obvious.

"Oh, you know. The usual. How he wants to steal you away from me, how you can do better, how he loves you… it's really getting quite tiresome, having to hear it on a daily basis. I'm about ready for him to leave."

"Edward, enough. You know I would never go along with Jacob rather than you so stop getting so jealous. I can handle this. You don't need to come break up every friendly conversation we have."

"It was only friendly on your side."

"Edward, stop!"

"Bella, when will you see? He won't stop. And as long as he's persistent in trying to steal you away from me, I must be persistent in keeping him away from you. You're mine. Not his."

"I'm not a piece of property," I mumbled irritably.

"Bella, look at me," I turned my head in his direction, but kept my eyes focused on the spine of a book over his shoulder. "No, _look_ at me," there was no fooling him. My eyes shifted to his radiant topaz irises. Curse his beauty…

"I will never lose you again," his tone was so serious it was almost scary. His eyes sparkled when he said " I love you far too much to lose you to anyone. _Especially_ Jacob Black. Do you understand?"

"Yes," I grudgingly answered.

"Good. Now, with that said. I've been meaning to ask you something…"

I waited, but Edward did not say anything. "Yes?" I prompted.

He took a deep breath – a nervous breath. "Eleven years ago… I changed you into a vampire with the intention to be with you forever. Isabella Marie Swan, I want to spend eternity with you. And I want everyone to know that we were meant to spend eternity _together_. Isabella… Bella. Will you marry me?" I was so shocked that I hadn't even noticed he'd gotten down on one knee and held a ring out to me. I was too transfixed on his eyes to even glance at the ring. I could feel a heartbeat in the vicinity of my emotions, not quite there, but almost. Edward always had a way to make me feel human.

I stared at Edward's eyes for who knows how long. I couldn't bring myself to answer. _Yes,_ I willed myself to voice, _say yes!_ But I couldn't do it. I didn't know why, but I couldn't persuade myself to let my lips form the simple word.

The seconds ticked by, and Edward grew anxious at my lack of answer. He shifted on his knee and his brow creased. "Uh… just… yes or no then…" he mumbled incoherently.

I just kept staring at him. _YES!_ my brain screamed, _YES!_

More time passed and Edward was becoming even antsier. "You know, Bella," he started, finally breaking me out of my trance, "despite what you may think, I still can't read _your_ mind. You'll have to answer me out loud."

I opened my mouth, fully ready to give myself to him forever. I tried to say it; I tried to say yes, I swear I did. But from my lips emitted a cold and terrifying, "No."

I watched Edward's heart break through his eyes.

What was wrong with me? Since when am _I_ the psychopathic one? I wanted more than anything to spend my life with Edward forever and always. Here was the chance, why wasn't I taking it? I tried again to say "yes".

"Yo."

Yo? _What?_

Edward's hurt expression changed to bewilderment. "…Hey?" he said in another form of casual greeting.

This was getting ridiculous.

"What… I meant to say… is…" third times the charm, right? "Yos." I nodded to help show him that I was trying to say "yes".

Something was wrong. I couldn't actually get my mouth to form the word "yes". It wasn't that I didn't want to – it was that I couldn't. Edward's bewildered expression became concentrated and then understanding broke across his face.

"Bella. Are you trying to say 'yes'?"

I nodded again.

"But something's stopping you?"

I nodded again. "Yos."

"Wait here for a moment…" Edward fled the study and returned a minute later with his fist grabbing at the neck of Jacob's t-shirt. I was about to open my mouth in protest to Edward's rude behavior, but then he said, "Being able to take the form of a werewolf isn't his gift, Bella."

"What?" I asked in confusion.

Edward's eyes were furious, and I heard a growl in his chest when he answered, "He's a puppeteer."

"A… _what?"_

"A puppeteer, Bella. He can control you. Not your thoughts or your feelings, but your actions. He can make you _do_ things."

A puppeteer? Jacob would never make me do anything I didn't want to do… would he? But one look at his ashamed face was enough to convince me.

"Jacob. Black." I snarled, my voice shaking with anger. "Get. Out. Now."

"Bella, please, let me explain!"

"NOW!"

My ferocity shocked even me. Edward dropped Jacob and stared at him until he had left the room, slunk down the stairs, and out the front door. Then he was at my side in an instant that was too quick for any mortal and his arm was curled around my waist.

"Yes," I finally managed to get out. I squeezed my eyes shut and rubbed my temples. This proposal could have been more imperfect, I thought sarcastically. Story of my life…

Despite his fury, Edward grinned. He kissed my hair and whispered in my ear, "I love you."

I turned my head so I could look into his golden eyes. "I love you, too. So much. Oh, Edward!" I threw my arms around his neck and threw myself into the kiss that I planted on his lips.

When we finally broke away, Edward looked me straight in the eye and said, "Now go make up with Jacob."

I looked at him, utterly confused. "But why? You don't even like Jacob. And right now, neither do I, for that matter…"

Edward smiled crookedly before saying, "Because if you don't he's going to take you to the Volturi."

Before I could ask how he knew that, he removed one of his hands from my waist and tapped his head. "Now go. I'll keep close by, don't worry."

I opened the door and was about to cross the porch, but Edward caught my hand. Before I realized what he was doing, he slipped a ring on my finger and brought my hand up to his lips, kissing it softly and never breaking eye contact with me. I looked at the ring for the first time. I decided it was the single most amazing piece of jewelry I had ever laid eyes upon.

A silver band wrapped its way around my finger with the words "Safety, Love, Happiness" engraved in the surface. The stone was not a diamond, but topaz – the exact same hue of his eyes – and it made up the "o" in "Love". I wasn't usually one to go gaga over jewelry, but this engagement ring was like no other. I had a right to this time…

I looked up into Edward's smiling eyes, "Now go," he urged.

I made my way across the lawn to the edge of the forest where Jacob was sitting, staring into space.

"Jake," I said curtly.

"I'm sorry," was all he said. He let his head fall into his hands and mumbled something I couldn't make sense of – something about "messed up".

"Yeah, you did mess up. Jacob how could you? How could you try and use me as a meat puppet? It's not fair to me, and it's not fair to Edward. I am a… well… I am a _being_ and I have a free will and my own mind and I need to be able to make my own decisions and follow through with them. It's not up to you."

"Bella. I just got jealous. I'm sorry. It gets hard for me to control my emotions around you. You mess me up…"

This caught me off guard. "Jacob… it's… it's not that I don't love you. I do, but… not in _that_ way. I'm sorry, Jake. You will always have a place in my heart. Do you realize how upset I was when I thought you were dead? Ask any of the Cullens, it was _not_ pretty. But now… just because you're not dead… well it doesn't mean you can take _advantage_ of me…"

Jacob's neck snapped up and he looked at me with fire in his eyes. "Bella Swan, I will _never_ take advantage of you. What, do you think I'm trying to get you while you're weak? While your soft spot's even softer? Do you?" I swallowed and nodded slightly. "Never, Bella. I was trying because I'm _back_. I'm really _back,_ here, in the flesh. And I have all these feelings that have been bottled up for who knows how long. So I popped the cork, let the feelings burst out. And it bit me in the-"

"Jacob!"

"All I'm trying to say, Bells, is that I care about you more than you will probably ever know."

He was wrong. I knew. Probably just as much as I cared for Edward…

"Okay, Jake. But… no more puppeteering."

"Okay."

"And Jake?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you _really_ turn into a werewolf still?"

"Yeah."

I reached over and gave my best friend a hug. His skin really was hot compared to the normal temperature of a vampire, but he smelled like one, at least. As complicated as it had made things, I was glad my best friend was here again. Jacob had been like the missing puzzle piece in my life for the past few weeks. And now that he was back, I felt whole again.

Suddenly, there was a crash from inside the house. Both our heads snapped in the direction of the accommodation and listened.

"Bella!" I heard Alice screaming. "BELLA!"

I sprang lithely to my feet and sprinted toward the house. It was a moment before I realized Jake was beside me.

"Alice?" I called coming into the house. Edward's face was frantic. "Alice what is it? Where are you?"

Alice appeared at the top of the stairs. Her complexion looked even paler if it were possible and her ochre eyes were wide with terror.

"Bella, they're coming. They're coming for you… and me… and Edward…" she gasped.

Even though I already knew the answer, I had to ask. I took the steps two at a time until I was face to face with Alice. "Who?" I whispered, "Who's coming?"

"The Volturi," she breathed, her eyes wild.


	10. A P P R E N T I C E

**ok. so nobody went for the contest thing. haha, ok, so the only song that comes to my mind for the last chapter was Valiant by The Spill Canvas. :-/**

**this chapter... it's a little violent. i didn't make it _too_ graphic though. even though a lot of descriptive words came to mind, haha. and it's not as long as i would have liked, but i just reached a _perfect _place to leave off.**

**so the song is Knights of Cydonia by Muse. it's pretty fitting, in my opinion.**

**SO! i want to take this time to thank my most loyal readers/reviewers at this point. THANK YOU - Diger, Elliptic Lullaby, and t3g0d355! you guys are AMAZING!**

**now - on with the chapter!**

9. A P P R E N T I C E

"How long?" I asked, trying to plan our getaway before they could arrive.

Alice's face fell and she lowered her eyes when she answered, "Three hours."

"WHAT?" I roared. Three hours would not give us much of a head start! "Why didn't you see them sooner?"

Alice's eyes fired up a little, "Well I'm sorry, Bella, that we all can't control our powers the way _you_ can. How was I supposed to know they were coming? I would have looked if I'd had any suspicion-"

"All right, no time," I cut her off. I turned to Edward. "Where could we go?"

Edward's face was uncharacteristically hesitant. "I… I don't know that there is any place we _can_ go that they won't follow. And if we run from them… it will just make things worse for us, Bella."

I groaned. This could not be happening! Why couldn't my life be peaceful? Just once? Everything had been ideal and then the Volturi had to come mess everything up. I turned back to Alice, "How many of them are coming?"

Alice's face brightened slightly, "It looked like there were only two… Aro, and someone I didn't recognize…"

"What did he look like?" Jacob snapped. I jumped, startled. I had forgotten he'd come in with me.

Alice seemed perplexed by his question. "Um… well. He had black hair… he was pale… he had red eyes…"

"How old did he look?" Jacob sighed impatiently.

"Oh… OH! He was young for the Volturi… probably around nineteen… maybe twenty."

"Conner," Jacob growled, "of course he'd be with Aro."

Every head in the room turned to Jacob. It was a moment before I caught on. "Is he part of the new coven?" Jake nodded solemnly. "Jacob… what can we do?"

Jacob turned to look at me, square in the eye with a demanding flare in his eye. "Nothing. Stay put. Edward" – it seemed to cause him physical pain to actually _say_ my fiancé's name – "is probably right. It would just make matters worse if you tried to run for it."

I hadn't noticed the small audience that had gathered at the bottom of the stairs. Emmett stepped forward. "You said two? Well," – he laughed – "bring it on!"

"Emmett!" Rosalie snapped at her husband, actual fear distorting her perfect face. "Don't even _consider_ fighting them. That would make things one hundred times worse!"

"She's right, Em," Jasper put in, "If we tried to fight off their master… well the whole guard would come to do us in, then."

"Carlisle! Carlisle, what can we do?" I asked, frantic for help.

There was a moment of silence while Carlisle thought over the possibilities. Some of them caused Edward to let out a low, barely audible growl. "Well, Bella. I think the best thing is to stay put and act like we didn't know they were coming – act like they've overestimated our power by assuming we know they're coming. If that makes sense… but I think it would be smart for some of us to leave…" He gestured to the rest of his family.

"Leave? But why?" Emmett snarled, "If they think they're going to touch my family, they are sorely mistaken." His upper lip curled back around his unnaturally white incisors.

"Emmett, Carlisle's right. You should go. I don't want to cause any more trouble for you all than I already have," I informed him resignedly. It was true. If it hadn't been for me in the first place, the Volturi would never have even known of Edward and Alice's existence.

"Bella, don't think like that. We'll get ourselves out of this. We'll be fine. Won't we Alice?" Edward turned his attention to her.

Alice took a moment before answering, a blank, glazed look overtaking her golden eyes. "I… don't… know. It's fuzzy; I can only see shapes. Someone has to make a decision first before I can see much farther than when they arrive… but it _looks_ like we'll be alive…" I shuddered.

"See?" I told Emmett, "Now you, Rosalie, Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle should just leave. Come to think of it, maybe you should leave too, Jake," I tried desperately to get them all out. Time was running out, and if they were going to get out safely they had to go now.

"I'm not going anywhere!" Jacob growled protectively.

"Jake, if they find you here they'll kill you!"

"They won't find me."

"Jacob, _please_," I begged. I couldn't lose him twice in two weeks.

"Bella," he said seriously, taking my hand in his and holding it with his blazing skin, "I'm your best protection. Don't worry about me, worry about yourself. I'm your best source of protection when they're here. Let me stay." I could feel my lower lip quivering.

"Jake…"

"Just let me stay, Bells." His voice was so soft.

"Oh, alright! But if you get yourself killed, you're the responsible one."

"I won't."

"The rest of you: get out!" Jasper and Rosalie seemed mildly surprised that I was kicking them out of their own house.

"Bella, I think that I, too, should stay." Carlisle stepped forward.

"But-"

"Now, think, Bella. Aro is an old friend of mine. Although he may be hypnotized or brainwashed or whatever it is that Jacob seems to think has happened, I may still have _some_ influence on him."

I gritted my teeth. Two more lives – gone. And it was all my fault. It was bad enough I was killing Edward and Alice; did Carlisle and Jacob _have_ to be such pig heads too?

"Fine." I snarled through my teeth. "Everyone else, out. Go into the woods or… something. I don't care, just leave here."

Somehow I had made it down to the bottom step so that I could glare into all of their faces and make sure they would leave. The group of them started to turn, but Emmett bounded forward and gave me a bone crushing bear hug. "Be careful, Bella."

I realized, then, that this _could_ be the last time I ever saw any of them. I squeezed back and assured him, "I will. It'll be fine. You'll see," but I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince – Emmett, or myself.

Emmett released me and turned to walk with Rosalie out to the woods. Esme and Carlisle and Jasper and Alice shared an intimate goodbye. Jasper tried to convince Alice to let him stay, but she was set in stone.

"I'll make them more relaxed!"

"Jasper… I can't put you in this danger."

"Alice, please!"

"Jazz… go."

Alice looked as though she were going to be sick when Jasper slipped out the door.

Once the other Cullens had left, all heads turned to Carlisle.

"What do we do now, Carlisle?" Edward asked. He seemed angry.

"We wait. Try to make the atmosphere in here seem as natural as possible. And if anyone asks, the rest of the family is hunting. With any luck, Aro won't want to check us…" Carlisle let his voice trail off and he looked out the window, maybe hoping to glance Esme departing.

Three heads around me nodded and immediately went in separate directions. Alice went the rest of the way down the stairs, Jacob headed off to the guest bedroom, Carlisle went to sit in the living room, and Edward grabbed my hand and led me to his room. As soon as we had reached Edward's room, he spun around and captured me in his arms. He was upset.

"What's wrong?" I murmured, reaching up to run my cold hands through his soft, bronze hair.

Instead of answering, Edward kissed me. Forceful yet soft, the kiss scared me. He had no hope. I kissed him back, fire burning in my chest. This could be the last time… No. I would not think like that – because then it _would_ be the last time. I didn't know how long we were kissing, and I didn't know how we had gone from the standing position to laying on Edward's couch, but suddenly his head snapped up – his lips broke away from mine – and he listened. I listened, too, and then I heard it – footsteps.

They were here, walking down the driveway.

"Just relax," I whispered soothingly. "It will be okay," but I'd never been a good liar. Edward nodded, but he didn't relax.

"But just in case… I just want to tell you that I love you." The words seemed final. Doomed.

I felt the teardrop leak out of my eye. Edward swiped it away and laid his head on my chest. After a moment he said, "The new one can control minds."

I sighed. "From what Jacob told me, I figured as much."

"But he can only control one at a time. So if he's busy with Aro the whole night, we should be safe from his power. He's not elite," Edward seemed very relieved to find this out, "Not even close. His coven is, but they're not here. They figured he could do this on his own. Perhaps if we kill him, Aro will be free of him and he'll be able to make his own decisions…"

"Edward Cullen!" I whispered sternly. "No killing! _Any_ kind of killing at all will just make things _worse_."

Edward's eyes met mine. He smiled reassuringly and said, "Killing him won't be a problem, let me assure you, Bella. If we kill _Conner" _– he said the name with such disgust – "and free Aro, the Volturi are in debt to us and can offer us protection from the rest of _Conner's_ coven."

"Not if Conner's coven can control all the minds of the Volturi! Then we're just screwed."

"Bella, trust me on this one."

Trust him. I did. With every part of me, I trusted Edward. But the idea of Conner was intimidating. Mind control was a frightening power, and it would be easy for him to mess with us. One moment Edward could be killing Conner, the next I could be killing Edward… the idea sent shivers up my spine and I snuggled closer to him, waiting for the subtle knock on the door.

I listened. The footsteps got closer and closer until finally they stepped across the porch. The hollow echo of the soles of their shoes on the wood was haunting. The thud of knuckles on the maple wood door came next, and then the silent whoosh as the door opened. I heard Carlisle acting pleasantly surprised.

"Aro! How in the world did you get here? And who is this?"

I heard Aro's voice come next, sounding not at all like him.

"Hello. I am well. This is my apprentice, Conner Reddings."

At this point, the sound of Conner stepping forward across the threshold came. It was a moment before Aro followed.

Alice's cheerful voice sounded, "Hello, Aro. How have you been?"

This family should seriously look into acting.

"Well. Thank you." Aro's voice was monotonous – robotic. And he didn't call anyone by their name, I noticed.

Edward was still on top of me – still as a statue, listening. His eyes met mine and after a moment of wordless communication, I realized that I was to stay stone still, too. Perhaps Aro would not ask about us. Or, Conner, rather…

"We were just in the neighborhood and decided to drop by and see if Jacob was around," Conner's voice came conversationally. In the neighborhood? I thought skeptically. This coming from a vampire that lives in Italy?

"I'm right here, Conner," Jacob's voice growled. There was a moment of silence before I heard Conner's footsteps lead him over to where, I imagined, Jacob stood. I heard Jacob's low growl and Conner's footsteps stopped.

"Is there anyone else here?" came Conner's conceited drawl.

"My son and daughter are upstairs," Carlisle informed him. Even under the circumstances, I still felt a rush of emotion when Carlisle called me his daughter. "I'm sorry, but you've just missed the rest of the family. They've gone hunting."

"Yes… hunting… You're the 'vegan' family, aren't you?" the sneer on his face could be heard through his voice.

Carlisle chuckled politely, "Yes, we respect the fragile lives of humans far too much to take it away as easily as we could," there was a tinge of warning in his voice that I couldn't understand.

"Hm. Well… why don't you call your children down and we can meet."

A moment of footsteps later and Carlisle was calling up the stairs, "Edward! Bella! We have company!"

Edward rose very slowly to his feet and offered his hand. I took it in mine, grasping it tightly. His lips met mine in one last kiss and then he led me out of the room and down the hallway.

Two flights of stairs later, and the scene came into view. Alice was standing across the dining room table from Aro, who seemed to be focused on something that was thousands of miles away. Carlisle stood next to Aro, who stood next to Conner, who ripped his gaze from Jacob to the stairs that Edward and I were descending. Jacob was next to Alice. He looked at me pleadingly. If only I knew what he was trying to ask me…

Conner looked first at Edward, giving him the once over. Then his eyes strayed to me. He, literally, looked me up and down – a twisted sneer becoming apparent on his porcelain cheeks – before letting his eyes fall on my hand, which was still clasping Edward's as if it were my life. Actually, come to think of it, it _was_ my life. I glanced at Conner for the first time. His jet-black hair fell in spiraling curls down past his ear lobes, and his lips were full and red. The tip of his tongue appeared and he licked his lips. I decided immediately that I would stay as far away from him as possible at all times.

Edward stopped so suddenly that I nearly crashed into him. We were only halfway down the staircase, but Edward stopped and glared at Conner – menace haunting his eyes. _Uh-oh._

"You must be the famous Edward Cullen," Conner mocked. "The one who would kill himself for a human? And you're the human, I assume? But you're not a human anymore. And I can see why he might kill himself for you…" Edward growled softly.

I smiled sweetly. "I am. My name is Bella. And who are you?" I said, playing dumb.

"Conner Reddings, apprentice and advisor of Aro Volturi," he stated smugly, sweeping into a bow and looking up at me with his crimson eyes from beneath his black curls.

"May I ask why you're here?" Carlisle directed his question at Aro, but Conner was the one who answered.

"We have come here to see that the deal has been followed through with – that the human is no longer – and once that was determined, we are to invite you chivalrously to join the ranks of the Volturi. It would be a great honor to have you among us. Alice?" he asked, pulling his mesmerizing, hypnotic eyes away from me for the first time. I blinked and shook my head, trying to shake out the stupor.

Alice was mannerly but firm when she stated, "No. I'm sorry, Aro, but I'm quite content here." She talked to Aro, though he seemed to be entranced in a piece of floating dust.

"That _is_ a shame. And what about you Edward?" Conner continued, his tone suggesting that he was superior to him.

Edward responded to his question with a rumbling growl.

"Temper," Carlisle whispered.

Edward stopped growling, straightened his back and squared his shoulders. "No. I prefer this lifestyle."

"Pity," Conner smirked and cocked an eyebrow. He pointed his spellbinding gaze at me again, and I felt a pulling toward him coming from my brain. "And what about you, Bella? Would you be interested in joining the most powerful family on the face of the earth? Having your every wish fulfilled? You would, wouldn't you? Come, join the Volturi!"

Those _eyes!_ "No. My life is here with Edward," I surprised myself. I had been sure I was about to agree what with the way my brain was telling me to go to him. But saying Edward's name seemed to snap me out of my daze and I took a step closer to him, allowing him to curl his pale arm around my waist.

Conner's eyes reflected a flicker of dismay for a fraction of a second before he regained his composure. "I see," he said. I waited, sure of what was coming next. "Well, I have no choice then." We waited for him to continue, but he said nothing.

"Pardon me, but, don't have a choice in what?" Carlisle asked in his most polite tone.

Conner smiled and raised his eyebrows. "Oh, it's just a matter of time until you find out. I am sworn to secrecy. Just know – I didn't want it to happen. I came here to have you join us and you would be safe. But, you didn't join. And I must pass the word to the rest of the Volturi of your disloyalty. They won't be happy. No, not at all."

"Disloyalty?" Edward spat, his temper fast rising, "The Volturi never force themselves upon those who do not wish to be members!"

Conner's crimson irises laughed, but his tone was serious when he said, "The times, they are a changin'. Aro, I think our business is done here."

As they turned to swoop out of the house, something happened that I would never forget. I had been too mesmerized by Conner's mystical eyes to notice that during his little monologue, Jacob had started to shake. He had started to tremble and vibrate so hard that his fists became nothing but pallid blurs. But once Conner turned his entrancing eyes away from me, I noticed. And I noticed when Jacob was no longer Jacob, but a huge, silky-furred, white wolf. He leapt straight past Edward, Alice, Carlisle, Aro, and me and headed for Conner's back as silently as a breath of air.

"Oh, and one more thi-" Conner had started to turn around before getting a face full of Jacob.

I watched in horror as Jacob's wolf form tore at Conner's face and ripped up his skin, revealing his bone and muscles. Conner's screams were muffled by Jacob's barks and snarls. Something black was leaking onto the floor, and Conner's throat was completely ripped out. I stood, watching in horror. Shock paralyzed my body and brain. I could hear Carlisle shouting, but his voice was stifled – like cotton was stuffed in my ears. Jacob's jaws snapped and tore at more of Conner's marble flesh. I felt something grab my upper arm and I was jerked around to face Edward's beautiful face – it was distorted with frantic demands and fear. Through the cotton in my ears, I heard Edward say, "We need to get out of here."

That made sense, I rationalized. Once Jacob was through with Conner, he might not be able to control himself. We should get out of the way. I allowed Edward to pull me into a room and slam the door shut behind him. Carlisle, Alice, and Aro were also in the room. Aro seemed disconcerted. His lips mouthed words that I couldn't hear. I was still only ears for Jacob's vicious snarls coming from the other side of the closed door.

After what seemed like hours, the snarling finally stopped and was replaced by a disgusted moan. I immediately opened the door – deaf to Edward's warnings – and saw Jacob – vampire Jacob – standing over the mangled body of Conner Reddings.

"What have I done?" His voice was raspy and his eyes were filled with anguish. "Bella, what have I done?" A dry sob escaped his chest.

"You saved us all, Jake. That's what you've done," but he shook his head, disagreeing.

"I put you all in danger by morphing. And now, I've put you all in danger by killing him." He looked up at me through his agony filled eyes. "I'm so sorry, Bella," he whispered.

Something about the look in his eyes made me feel vulnerable. I wasn't sure what it was, but suddenly, it felt as if I'd never be safe again. Not even when Edward was holding me.

But those thoughts were immediately contradicted when Edward came up behind me and wrapped his long, capable arms around me, squeezing me tightly into his chest and kissing the top of my head.

I heard murmurs coming from the closet that we had been closed in a moment before – it seemed as though Aro had come to and Carlisle was trying to fill him in on what was going on.

"No, no, that's preposterous! I can repel mind control with my own superior brain," came his unconvinced tone. "Now I want to know what's _really_ going on."

He came stumbling out of the closet, brushing himself off. As soon as he caught sight of Edward, Jacob, and me his face broke into a smile. Then he inevitably noticed the unrecognizable corpse of Conner Reddings.

"Who is that?" he asked, the smile slightly fading from his face.

"Your _apprentice,_ Conner Reddings," Edward told him as if it were obvious.

"But, I don't have an apprentice!"

"Aro, he was controlling your mind. Believe what you want, old friend, but we are telling you the truth," Carlisle put a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Aro looked confusedly between the body and Carlisle. "But wouldn't someone have caught on? Wouldn't Marcus or Caius have noticed if I were a robot?"

Carlisle shook his head, "From what we understand – there are others. And they are controlling your brothers – calling themselves 'advisors'. And from what we have gathered – they are very powerful. Young Conner here could control only one mind at a time, but the rest of his coven can control armies. It would not be safe to return."

"If what you're saying to me is true…" Aro considered, "If this Reddings boy's coven is really so brilliant and powerful… why did they send only him? Why not one of the other elite forms of their family?"

"They did."

A tall stranger appeared as a shadow in the doorway, and everyone's face around me went inexplicably blank.


	11. M O O N R I S E

**only one review last chapter? was it really that bad:(**

**well, hopefully this one lives up to expectations - more violence! yay:-P**

**really, i'm being honest when i tell you that reviews make me update faster. they are inspiring and esteem boosting and i just love to hear what you've got to say - even if it's flames. i'm just here to please, so if you think i can do better with something, LET ME KNOW and i'll try the best i can to fix it. i don't know how many of you have actually read my profile, but i want to be a writer, and right now you guys are my editors. :)**

**ok, ok. enough of my rant. the song i've decided is going to be Risque by Cute Is What We Aim For, mostly because of these here lyrics:**

**_And what's a crush to do when he can't get through?  
Grammatically speaking you're adorable  
And from what I hear you're quite affordable  
But I like them pricey  
So exaggerate and t-t-t-t-t-t-trick me  
Pretty please, just trick me_**

**once you read the chapter, read the lyrics again and tell me it doesn't work for Conner. :-P**

**alright - enough's enough, i know. here we go! Chapter Ten:) hope you like it...**

10. M O O N R I S E

I whipped my head around, making eye contact with the faces around me – searching for an unclouded expression. I was disappointed to find that all of them – Edward, Alice, Jacob, Carlisle, and even Aro – had a milky film glazed over their eyes, giving them a dead, blind look. On closer inspection of their faces, it became apparent that their mouths were half open, jaws slack, and they looked totally asleep.

I felt the fear start to rise in my chest – I was alone. Completely and utterly alone. Why? I was not sure. It seemed that this stranger's power took no effect on me, whatsoever. I didn't feel a subconscious drawing to him as I had felt with Conner's hypnotic eyes – to be honest, I didn't feel _anything_. It was as if the man's mind control could not penetrate an invisible force around my own mind. It made me even more aware of how alone I was.

The tall shadow of a man swept into the house – apparently unaware that his power had left me idle – and stood over Conner's marred body, touching the wounds and flipping the skin and flesh that had been ripped from its roots back over onto his face with his bare hands. I realized that the black liquid that had seeped onto Esme's beige carpet was the remainder of the last meal Conner had had. I shuddered involuntarily and tried not to think too much about it.

Instead, I looked to my right and studied Edward's face more closely. I saw something more in his eyes than just the milk-white glaze – a spark. There was something igniting in those eyes, and I realized – with a jolt of hope – that he was trying to fight whatever power the brawny stranger had unleashed. Terrified of drawing attention to myself, I slowly moved to clasp Edward's deathly still and comatose hand. I gripped it as tightly as I could, trying to communicate to his inoperative mind that I was there. Willing him to fight harder – to try harder. _You can do this,_ I thought, desperately, _you're stronger than him!_

The varnish over his eyes was still visible, but his mouth audibly snapped shut. I froze. The man that was crouching over Conner's mauled corpse stiffened, his back facing me. Slowly, he rose from his squatting position, and began to turn to face Edward and me.

Every instinct in my body screamed for me to flee – to run as fast as I could away from this house. I could find Emmett, Esme, Jasper, and Rosalie and I wouldn't be alone. They could help me and we could overcome this unforeseen stranger together. But even as I made the ploy in my unsaturated mined, I could not bring myself to uproot the soles of my shoes from the floorboards I was standing on next to Edward.

And by then the moment to escape was lost. The vampire turned around and looked at the faces around me, his eyes searching for the one with personality – my face. The being that stood before me was intimidating. He had to be at least a foot and a half taller than me, and his expansive shoulders made my small frame seem even slighter. In fact – I'd wager that he'd even make Emmett seem scrawny in comparison. His biceps were chiseled and his pale skin was tightly stretched over the muscles. His eyes – I stifled a gasp. His crimson eyes had finally come to rest on me. Instinctively – as though I could protect him – I took a step so that I was directly in front of Edward.

I watched as he knitted his thick, black eyebrows together in concentration. He jutted out his clefted, angular chin in frustration when he could not infiltrate my mind. It was truly a mystery to me why I seemed to be immune to his spellbinding effects that the others were so vulnerable to. All I knew was that I was – apparently – the only one who was.

Something on the floor stirred, and I was consumed with terror when Conner – still torn and mangled – sat up and brought his hands to his tattered face. I held the scream back as his disturbing form got to its feet and started to shine. No, not shine – _glow._ An eerie light seemed to illuminate his face and a halo of white radiance escaped him from the inside out, causing me to go momentarily blind from the brightness.

The light dulled and, blinking rapidly, I looked up to find that Conner's face had been completely restored.

The stranger spoke for the first time.

"She won't come under," he grunted, pointing a muscular finger at me.

Conner turned his inexplicably perfect eyes on me, unleashing his full, hypnotizing power. It fazed me slightly, but only for a moment before I shook away the stupor. Conner had the same look of frustration painted on his unscathed face.

"No matter. She will come."

"How can you be sure?"

"She's bound to them more ways than physically, Collin."

It occurred to me – through the thick haze of protective shock – that the two of them were talking about _leaving._ Leaving, more than likely, to Italy. And they were going to take the Cullens. I backed fearfully into Edward's zombie-like form and when his arms reached across my shoulders, I clutched at them as if they would save me. It was only then that I realized that Edward had probably not moved of his own free will.

"Damn dog." My eyes flew back to Conner who was standing in front of Jacob's body. "He'll pay for that one…"

"No!" I whimpered. Conner's cruel eyes flashed back to me, a sincerely wicked grin spreading across his face.

"Oh, yes, your whole family is going to pay, girl. Didn't you know? We're soon to be running the show. I think 'the Reddings' sounds much more appropriate than 'the Volturi.' Don't you agree, Collin?"

Collin – the big oaf – nodded stupidly.

"Yes, it's just a matter of time, now. You really should join us before it's too late, Bella. I could take care of you in ways Edward, here, could never even imagine," Conner's eyes glinted sinisterly and I watched the tip of his tongue poke out from in between his red lips and sweep across them again.

I felt something – a twitch in Edward's muscles. I didn't dare turn and look up at my love's face for fear _Collin_ would suspect Edward's rebellion to his powers and send another strong current of concentration at him that would be impossible to fight off. I settled for looking Conner straight in the persuasive eye and – using all the resistance I could muster – spitting out a firm "Never."

I almost tasted bile at the thought of joining his ranks. We had tried to be polite – hospitable, even – but this _Reddings_ coven seemed to think they were something out of this world. Enough was enough – no more Mr. Nice-Guy.

Conner's face twisted into a sneer. "That's really too bad. You've got so much potential…"

I refused to give him the satisfaction of asking "Potential for what?" – even though the curiosity was eating at me from the inside out.

Instead I looked at Jacob. What I saw made me quickly look away.

_Jacob was not under the power of the Reddings boys._

He was pretending, but the moment my eyes had met his, I could see the _life_ behind them! I wasn't alone – Jacob was here, too, and that in itself was enough to make me feel safe.

I felt Edward's muscles twitched again, and I twisted around to glance in his eyes again. He was really fighting. I could see his eyes alight with the battle raging within. I tore my eyes away from the heartbreaking scene, hoping the man named Collin wouldn't think about it too much. There was still hope. If Jacob was here, and Edward was soon to join us, we outnumbered the boys. Even if it was only by one.

My eyes met Conner's again. There was a glint of menace in them, but there was a hint of something else – some other emotion pushing its way through the safely built detachment that Conner's face played up. I realized what the emotion was – lust. At first I was utterly repulsed. Conner? Lusting after _me?_ But as the idea was battered around in my diabolical head, a ruse was beginning to form. I could use this greatly to my advantage. But, if Edward was at all aware of what was happening, this could be a tragic scheme, too. There was only a moment of indecision before I plunged forward into my gambit – I would explain to Edward later.

I worked very hard to make any trace of former emotions vanish from my eyes. I concentrated solely on Conner's hypnotic eyes, allowing the natural draw they caused from my brain to take over and give myself in to him.

"Potential?" I cocked an eyebrow and let a wry smile twist upon my face. "Potential for what?"

I watched the surprise mount to a climax in Conner's eyes and tried to ignore the whisper of a growl – which I felt, rather than heard – rumble from Edward's lower chest. Inconspicuously, I squeezed his hand reassuringly.

The surprise in Conner's eyes was soon replaced by a self-assured, attempted seduction. "Well, once you're all trained up, I'm sure you'd be a marvelous addition to our army."

This caught me off guard. I tried not to let the surprise leak through my voice when I asked, "You're building an army? Why?"

Conner looked at me for a moment with apprehension. I realized I probably sounded very pressing – searching for answers – instead of seductive. "There… will… be time for questions later…" he said, hesitantly.

Realizing that I was loosing him, I licked my lips – enticingly – and looked up at him through my black lashes. "Okay. But… before we go hop on a plane to Italy, there's one teensy little errand I'd like to run," I said using diminutive words and holding up my thumb and index finger about an inch apart.

Conner's eyes flashed, but he smiled easily and said, "Of course. As long as you know that I'm coming, too."

"Oh, I wouldn't have it any other way."

We were in a black Mitsubishi, and I was in the driver's seat. It was Conner's car, and he sat in the passenger side looking very tense and wary. It was the fastest I'd ever driven, with only one thought in mind. The speedometer needle was inching past one hundred and ten when we entered La Push.

"Babe," I started, pinching myself where Conner couldn't see, "I'm just going to be a couple seconds. Can you wait here? I'm intimidating enough to this guy, I couldn't even imagine his reaction if two of us walked in…" I referred to "us" purposely, trying to give him the idea that I really _was_ giving into his seducing eyeballs.

Conner's hesitancy was apparent. He looked from my face to the small cottage that the car was now parked in front of. "Well. I suppose. But, mind you, I'll see if you try to escape. I'll give you ten minutes before I come raging in, love."

I flashed him a huge grin. "That's all I'll need."

I exited the car and flew up to the door. I hoped I could do this in ten minutes. I banged on the door with my rock hard fist. "Billy! Open up! NOW!" I roared. A light flicked on in the front hall and the door slowly swung back, revealing a very terrified Billy Black.

"What do you want, Bella?" I ignored his rude question and barged through the door.

"Take me to your garden, again."

"Bella – that garden is strictly for family and I don't think-"

"NOW!" I bellowed into his gruff, stubborn face.

The shock made his face pale. "Wh- why?"

"It's a matter of life and death. The life or death of your son, to be precise."

Billy's face drained of what little color it had left. "Jake's back? No, no, no, this is not good… Bella! You're going to _kill_ Jacob?" Something stirred, deep within his eyes. "I can't let you do that."

I sighed in frustration. He didn't understand. "_I'm_ not going to hurt Jake, but someone else _is!_ Please, Billy. There's no time! You _have_ to trust me!"

If I wasn't so frantic, I might have laughed at the irony. _Billy_ trusting _me?_ The man who not a week ago had tried to kill me with his foolish theory that the mere scent of roses would be enough to harm an already-dead _vampire?_ But Billy looked at me for a moment and then began to roll through the house and across the path of wooden planks toward the garden in Jacob's garage.

As soon as I could smell the roses, I ran to them. I flew into a fury, picking a dozen of them – much to Billy's dismay. Once I had picked the last one, I mumbled a quick thank you to Billy and ran back to the car, roses in my hands. I just hoped for the life of me that I wasn't the only one who hadn't known that roses could be lethal.

As I slid into the driver's side of the car, Conner looked at me with confusion.

"You had to stop here and get roses?"

He didn't know. Well, somebody was with me – even if it wasn't God.

"Yes. I think they're just lovely. And… well, it's always been a guilty pleasure of mine. I like to eat a petal before I go hunting. I don't know – it just gives me a boost. It's probably just me, though," I said in a slightly breathless voice, batting my eyelashes.

"Really?" Conner looked intrigued. It was working…

"Yes. I feel the rose petal enhances my instincts. Like a drug, almost. It's really quite a rush."

Conner raised an eyebrow. "Mind if I try one?"

It took a lot of control not to yell in jubilance. "Not at all," I answered, plucking a couple petals and handing them over to him.

He looked at them, hesitantly at first. I supposed his instincts were telling him not to eat them, but then he popped the petals into his mouth, chopped them with his molars for a moment, and swallowed the poison willingly.

It only took a moment for him to realize that something was terribly wrong. I wasn't sure I wanted to stay sitting in the car, so I took my bouquet of roses in my arms and quickly got out. Conner followed suite, betrayal and fury and panic tainting the hypnotic power of his eyes.

"What have you done to me?" His voice shook, and when his words came out so did half the venom in his body. He started to cough, trying to get the petals out of his system. I watched, in horror, at the effects the roses took on a vampire if ingested.

The chemical in the coloring of the rose petal had acted as an acid. In other words, a hole had burned straight through Conner's abdomen – I could see the woods on the other side. He screamed in pain, as the hole grew larger and larger. Suddenly his empty veins burst into open flame, blue with heat. Conner's skin started to slip right off him, and he began shrieking in agony. The scene was absolutely terrifying and disturbing and yet, I could not manage to rip my eyes away. The scent of his burning, dead flesh reached my nostrils. The smell was pungent and made me cough. I threw another glance at the destroying fireball that Conner had become and then I let my fear get the better of me.

Leaping into his Mitsubishi, I threw the car into reverse and sped out of La Push with my bundle of roses, as fast as I could go. I was back at the Cullens' within minutes.

I sat in the car, trying to think of a story to tell Collin. The man was dumb, but not oblivious, unfortunately. I decided to tell him that Conner had gone ahead to Italy without us and would meet us there. It was believable… to an imbecile.

I exited the car and walked slowly up to the house, clutching the roses' stems. Before I could open the door, I heard voices – hushed – coming from the woods.

"No, we've been away for far too long, now. We should go back to check on them," came Esme's worried, persistent voice.

"Carlisle and Bella told us to leave. They won't be happy if we come back and get ourselves into trouble…" Rosalie said apprehensively.

"C'mon, they might be in trouble Rose, we have to help!" Emmett insisted.

"I don't care what Alice says, I think I can help with my power…" Jasper finally argued.

All of them were coming back. I had to rid the house of Collin now, but how? As I wondered, the other four Cullens finally met me in front of the house.

"Bella! Why are you out here? And why do you have roses?" Esme asked, clearly bewildered.

"Jasper," I snapped, ignoring her questions, "I need your help." A plan was quickly forming in my mind.

Jasper looked at me, surprised. "Sure, Bella, anything…"

"Can you affect the mood of just _one_ vampire? From out here?"

"I have to be looking at him, but yeah, I could look through the window…"

Perfect. "Okay, there's another vampire. Collin. He's the big, brawny one in there – you'll pick him right out."

Jasper crept stealthily up to the window. "Whoa! Oh, yeah… okay, he's completely tranquil."

That was fast. I flung open the door and met the faces of Carlisle, Alice, Aro, Jacob, and Edward, all completely alive. I could have cried with happiness, but I had one more matter to attend to.

"Hey, Collin," I called over to him. He was looking thoroughly sedated. "You look tired? Need a wake up?"

He stared at me for a moment, trying to process what I'd asked him, and then he nodded. _Idiot._ I thought. Vampires don't _get_ tired.

I plucked a few rose petals and quickly pushed them into his mouth. After a moment, he chewed and swallowed.

Carlisle was the first to catch on. "Get him outside! Now!"

Edward, Jacob, and Alice all pushed against his broad, mighty shoulders, urging him to get out of the house. They were almost off the porch when the poison took effect. Alice, Jacob, and Edward released him as if they'd been shocked, and Collin went into a seizure of pain. I looked away this time, unable to watch the fire burn him alive – figuratively speaking, of course.

"Did… did you do that to Conner?" Edward asked, his face seeming paler then normal and his voice somewhat breathless.

I nodded and looked at him making no attempt to hide the fear I felt. It only took him a moment to wrap his strong, capable arms around me, enveloping me in his sweet scent.

"You're so brave. Did you know that, Bella? You're very brave."

I smiled into his shoulder. "I was so scared I was going to lose you forever…"

Edward pulled away and looked me in my – currently – chocolate brown eyes. "I was fighting it. And I was aware of what was going on. I could hear his thoughts – Conner's. They weren't nice – not at all. I was about to murder him, if only I could move my muscles…" So that was what the twitching had been about.

"I was just trying to get him to go along with me, I didn't mean any of the crap I said. I swear Edward, I am yours." I looked up at him, letting my eyes widen, letting me hear the truth in my voice.

"I believe you, don't worry, Bella. I believe you."

As the fear of losing Edward subsided, a new kind of fear consumed me. What was going to happen now? We – more specifically, _I_ – had killed two of the elite coven's members. How many more were there? More importantly – how would we rid of them _all?_ They were bound to catch onto the rose thing, eventually. And with their mind control, it would just be Jacob and me against them all. Jacob could morph, but what could I do? I was not spectacular or special in any way. I could think on my feet; that was about it. And my plans weren't always surefire, either. I could be the death of us all.

As this fear began to devour me, I shuddered. Edward squeezed me tighter to his chest, and I inhaled. I decided I'd just live for the moment instead of anticipating the near future so prejudicially. Maybe we could just go on living in peace for now; live the same way that we had been before the goddamned Reddings stepped in. I glanced at Aro, who was watching Collin burn with a solid wall of hatred on his face. I could see in his eyes that this meant war. I swallowed. For war, he'd need an army – an army who was immune to mind control. I was the only one I knew who was anything like that.

The thought of armies brought back a memory of something that Conner had said. I would have been a good addition to their army… but why? Why were the Reddings building an army? What purpose was there when they could simply control the minds of everyone around them? Something was going down over in Italy, and I wanted to stay as far away from it as possible.

As if he could read my mind, Edward bent down to whisper in my ear, "We'll leave tomorrow – sunset."

I turned my head to meet his serious eyes. Sunset, the bringing of darkness, the falling of light – of hope. It seemed like an omen to me. No, it was never just a sunset – it was also a moonrise. That pale light in the dark could be my hope. However feeble, that moonrise would _have_ to be my hope.

We stood on the front porch for hours while Carlisle and Esme tried to talk some sense into Aro. Alice and Jasper and Emmett and Rosalie seemed to have broken off into their own pairs, holding each other the same way Edward and I were currently holding each other. I was not the only one who sensed darkness in the near future.

I just didn't realize how near that future actually was.


	12. Author's Note Sorry!

**Ah, sorry. It's an author's note. Not an update.**

**THANK YOU for the reviews – they are incredible.**

**Thank you, Badr, for pointing out something that I failed to explain.**

**The Reddings coven all has a power over the mind, but it is not **_**always**_** mind control. Collin had that control over the mind, but Conner was a hypnotist. I'm sorry I didn't make that more clear, but I thought I hinted at it enough (hence the hypnotic eyes…). **

**I am not yet done with the story! I haven't even gotten to the preface chapter, so don't worry. There'll be more updates. I guess I'm a little over halfway through…**

**Okay. So I hope that cleared some things up. :)**

**Keep reading and reviewing! It makes me super happy!**

**Safety, love, happiness,**

**--Mel**


	13. O A T H

**W-O-W.**

**THANK YOU GUYS! twelve reviews last chapter! i love it love it love it! your enthusiasm is infectious. do you realize that i love you:)**

**ok, so. my favorite people on earth right now are t3hg0d355 - whose enthusiasm is making me enthusiastic, Silver Butterfly07, xabsolutionx, lovelyxangel, quietandclear, Badr, leiahlaloa, and ridiculouskopec.**

**sorry, YayitsConnie, but everyone else - including me - was ecstatic when Jake came back, so i think i'll keep him. :)**

**speaking of Jake - some of you may hate me this chapter. but i swear! next update, you'll love me again. :)**

**and: it's the preface chapter. CHYEAH! so i'm going to try and have this done BEFORE August seventh (Eclipse), and if you haven't already, you should go check out my just for fun story "What Would the Neighbors Think?" people actually like it, sooo, i don't know. maybe it's got potential. :)**

**sosososososo. the song. it's Mad World by Gary Jules.**

**and here's your chapter. hope you love! **

11. O A T H

I wasn't sure how long we spent standing outside waiting for Collin to finish dying. I wasn't even aware of when it had started to rain, but suddenly we were all running for cover. I had been too wrapped up in my own thoughts to realize that Aro was making his own plans for me…

"…and since _she's_ immune to mind control, she must come, too…"

It was Edward's furious, earsplitting snarl that snapped my senses back to reality.

"Now, really, Edward. It's much more important for us to have her than for you to. She could-"

But Esme was the one who cut him off, this time. "Important for you? _For you?"_ She laughed – a hard and sarcastic laugh – "If you _dare_ take Bella from my son, it won't be the Reddings you have to be afraid of."

Esme was actually _angry_. No, angry wasn't the right word. More like _infuriated._ I'd never seen her so ready to attack. Aro seemed a little intimidated.

"Well… uh… the continuation of all our existences seems to… uh… depend on her…" his voice trailed off at the look in her eyes.

Edward's growling had not ceased, but it had dulled to a low rumble when Esme stood up for me. They exchanged a look, Esme thought something, and Edward nodded once, stiffly.

Aro seemed to catch on to what was happening, though I was still at a loss. "Why don't we leave it to Bella's discretion, hm?" he looked at me, hopefully.

What? Was he joking?

"I- I want to stay with Edward…" I said without hesitation. Aro seemed slightly confused.

"My dear? Haven't you been listening?" Ashamedly, I shook my head. "The whole _family_ would come to Volterra."

That was the last thing I wanted. Bringing the Cullens – my family – to Volterra would be like holding a human's head underwater. As good as murder.

"No. I can't… can't put them in that danger, Aro. I'm sorry…"

Aro's brow furrowed and his eyes flashed. "Love is sacrifices, Bella."

"But… I don't love you… I barely like you…"

I heard Emmett hold back a snort of laughter and Rosalie slap his chest, trying to hide her own grin with fake anger. But Aro's grave expression became even more somber still.

"Bella. We need your help. We _need _you."

"But I really don't see how I can help. Their powers don't work on me, so what? I'm useless from there…"

Aro's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Did you not just assassinate not one, but _two_ of the Reddings coven's vampires?"

"Well, yes, but…" I was running out of arguments. But the last thing that I wanted to do _ever_ was to go back to Volterra with my family in tow. I mean, let's face it. The Volturi are just bad for your health – dead _or_ alive. It was time to be blunt. "I don't _want_ to go back to Volterra… ever.

The old vampire's face became stony and his eyes flashed again. He was _mad_.

"I can only hope that you'll change your mind, Miss Swan," he said in a tone that could match the temperature of his skin, "for you and your family's sake."

I highly doubted that Aro's threat was empty. I swallowed, but the gulp was drowned out by the horrifying snarls of Esme, Edward, Emmett, Alice, Rosalie, and Jasper.

Carlisle, however, remained calm as he said, "I hope that's not a threat, Aro. Because we don't take threats lightly, here in the house of Cullen." His tone and face were calm, but his eyes flared angrily.

Aro's eyes twinkled menacingly. "Not at all, Carlisle. Not a threat at all…"

Edward pulled me into him more tightly, protectively. I wondered what Aro was thinking.

When Aro left to the one and only hotel in Forks, Carlisle was the only one polite enough to bid him farewell. It was very early in the morning – around two or three – and I was thinking that sunset couldn't come quickly enough. It was only then that I realized that Jacob was nowhere in sight.

I tried to remember the last time I'd seen Jake. I vaguely remembered him pushing Collin outside, and I think that was the last I'd noticed him. I searched the house, briefly, for him, but he was nowhere to be found. Worried, I expressed my feelings with Edward, who scanned a three-mile radius for his thoughts.

"I… don't hear him anywhere near us…"

My worry increased to frenzy, then. He was nowhere near us… he hadn't let us know where he was going… I tried to tell myself not to get too worked up about it. After all, he could just be hunting. But some small, annoying little voice inside my head told me that he wasn't coming back. And, sadly, that small, annoying little voice has always been right.

At noon the next day, when Jacob still hadn't returned, my frenzy turned into pure panic. Edward tried, unsuccessfully, to calm me down.

"We have to go look for him. We can't just sit here and do nothing! Where is he? I'll kill him if we find him and he's not already-" I stopped myself. I was about to say "dead" and the reality of the situation struck me. Jacob could be gone. I immediately started planning out search parties.

I think Alice, Emmett, and Jasper only went along with it because I was so frantic with worry. Of course Edward went along with it, too – he wouldn't leave me alone for one second. Alice and Emmett and Jasper all took the south side of the house – the woods – and went patrolling around, smelling the air for any trace of Jacob. Edward and I went north, but we had to stop at the outskirts of town – neither of us were supposed to live here anymore. On our way back to the house, Edward stopped walking. It was a moment before I realized that he'd stopped, and I needed to double back to get to him.

The look on his face scared me. No, it didn't scare me – it absolutely terrified me. I had seen that look before. Remote, detached… this couldn't be happening. "What's wrong?" I asked, before I could stop myself.

Edward's eyes were unfocused. He was looking me in the eye, but I don't think he was _seeing_ me. "Bella, they want you to go with them."

If there were any blood in me, it would have left my face. I could almost feel it drain from my cheeks and sink to my feet. "I know that," I said, my voice shaking. This could _not_ be happening.

"They're threatening my family… I can't put my family in danger for you."

It was a good argument. I knew that his family was in danger, and I knew that it was because of me. I couldn't retaliate to that. But I did anyway.

"I don't intend to let anything happen to _our_ family. Edward, _our_ family. We're going to get married! Don't… don't do this to me, again."

Something flickered in those isolated eyes. Something that made me think that maybe… but no. It couldn't be. Could it?

There was a moment of silence. A breeze came from behind me, making my hair swirl around my face. His dead eyes flickered again. What little hope was left in me ignited in my chest. Then, it was put out like with a fire extinguisher when he said: "I'm sorry, Bella."

I could feel them. The tears. My eyes were itching and burning like I'd never felt before. Like there was smoke in my brain trying to escape through my eye sockets, but my stupid eyes were in the way. The tears came falling out like a dam burst. His stupid eyes flickered back and forth to life and lifelessness. But when they were alive, they looked horrified at what he'd done. I didn't try to wipe away the tears this time. Why shouldn't he see what pain he was causing me? Why shouldn't he be horrified at what he's done? Why was he _doing_ this?

Edward – my Edward – was leaving me. The unbearable sense of déjà vu dragged me under like a riptide in the ocean, and I let it consume me. But this time, I didn't even have Jacob. Stupid Jacob and his stupid disappearance. I was all alone and Edward was leaving me. Again! I had just come back, we'd barely had two weeks together, and he was leaving me for his family. I understood that he could care more about his family than me, but it didn't make it stop hurting.

The physical effects of my emotions began to partake in my misery, but now that I was stronger, so was the pain. I watched in horror as Edward turned and walked robotically away from me. Not towards his home, but towards the woods that were on either side of us. I felt like I would throw up. I felt like I would rip in half. I felt the complacent façade fall away, and I felt myself, slipping into numbness.

So fast? I wondered vaguely. My brain protected me from myself, always bringing on the numbness faster than I could imagine. I heard a high-pitched screech come from somewhere around me. I looked around in fear, and the screeching stopped. I realized, with a jolt, that the shrieking noise was me. It had made birds fly out of their nests around me, it had been the single most horrifying sound I'd ever heard, and it had ripped from my own chest.

I realized what I had to do. It was obvious now that I didn't have the Cullens behind me. I stood up and ran as quickly as I could to the hotel that Aro had said he would be staying at.

My legs moved faster under me than they had ever in my whole life. I tried to go faster, I had to get to Aro. My feet were barely touching the ground now – it was like I was flying. Flying! Oh, how I wished I could fly away and leave all this behind. If I wasn't so terrified of how much it would hurt, I might eat some rose petals. Not that the pain could even compare to what I was feeling right now.

As I entered the hotel I spotted Aro in the lounge and I walked over to him quickly, but at a human's pace so as not to raise suspicion. Aro looked up, unsurprised.

"Aha, here to come back to Volterra with me?" He asked, a smile stretching across his delicate skin. He raised a hand for me to shake. I froze, actually realizing what I was about to agree to.

This was, without a doubt, the hardest decision that I had ever been forced to make. Perhaps the toughest resolve I would _ever_ have to consider. On the one hand, my pathetic excuse for a life couldn't get much worse. What did I have to lose? Taking the old man up on his offer could not ruin me any more than I already was. But on the other, if I didn't give him the benefit of the doubt, I could be destroyed. And if I were destroyed now, there would be no chance to change things. To make everything better. To fix things. Again.

The indecision ripped at my chest, pushing me one way and then yanking me the other. It felt like a human tug of war match and I was the rope. I raised a shaking hand, hesitantly, and reached forward to take the frail, papery hand that the ancient man before me extended.

His skin still had that eerie, papery feel to it. I suppressed a shudder as he pumped my hand up and down once. He stood, immediately, and took my elbow firmly in his hand – as if making it so I could not escape. As we exited the hotel and headed toward a car that was parked outside it, I felt vaguely surprised at who just so happened to be sitting in the driver's seat.

"You did it then, I'm guessing?" Aro asked as he practically threw me into the backseat and then slid into the passenger's side himself.

I watched Jacob's eyes in the rearview mirror. He didn't look at me once as he grunted a stony "Yes."

Did what? Oh, no. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on.

"YOU WHAT?" I screamed at him at the top of my shrill lungs. It seemed like Jacob had flinched, but he kept his eyes emotionless and looked straight ahead through the windshield. "JACOB HOW _COULD_ YOU?" I cried. I let the sobs overcome me. It was him. Jacob had _made_ Edward leave me with his puppeteering powers. It wasn't Edward's choice. The sobs started anew when I realized what I'd doomed myself to.

A new thought occurred to me. "What did you do to him?" I snarled ferociously. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM WHEN HE MET YOU IN THE WOODS?"

Jake's eyes narrowed and his jaw clenched, but he didn't say anything.

"JACOB BLACK YOU ANSWER ME! NOW!" My volume was shaking the car. I'd never been so angry in all my life, and Jacob was being stubborn and mean and I had never wanted to hurt anyone as badly as I wanted to hurt him, now.

Aro seemed to tense up as my fury was unleashed through my voice, but I didn't care. He'd been in on it. It had probably been his idea, actually.

"He's fine. He's alive," was Jacob's answer.

"_What did you do to him?"_ I hissed, pure venom coating my tone. Jacob suddenly slammed on the brakes and turned around to face me in the back seat, a defiant expression drowning his face. I stared back, just as insolent and entirely angry.

"Is he all you care about? Really Bella? Is he all you care about?"

After a moment of silence spent pondering my answer, I looked him straight in his audacious eyes and said. "He is now."

Either my words, my face, or both sobered Jacob right there. His eyes flashed some emotion that I couldn't put my finger on, and he turned around in his seat and kept driving.

What had I done? Who knows what had happened to Edward? It was only a matter of time before the others found him, but by then it would still be too late. Alice might have a vision of me going to Volterra, and they'd follow, and then they'd all be done for. By dooming myself, I'd doomed them all. I dropped my head into my hands and tried to think of a way out.

No matter what, I was stuck. I'd made a rash decision, and it had consequences. I bit my lip in frustration. Was it possible to escape from Aro and Jacob? No. As soon as they realized what was going on, Jacob would puppet me back to them, I thought bitterly.

I watched the scenery flying by the window of the car on the highway. _Too fast…_it was like life. Life was always going by too fast. Not two hours ago, I thought Edward had left me of his own free will again, and I had been _worried_ about Jacob. It seemed like centuries ago that I watched Conner burn in the power of the rose petals. It seemed anything but possible that the previous night's events had all lead to this – me trapped in a midnight blue Ford Fusion on my way to the airport in Seattle to go to Volterra and fight against the most powerful vampire's imaginable. Since when had my life gotten so… intricate? Since I met Edward, I thought with a small smile – the first one for a while.

A few minutes later, we were pulling into the Seattle Airlines parking lot. I sat in the car – and was planning to sit there until the plain left, but Jacob used his ridiculous powers on me. It wasn't fair. Why had _he_ gotten the useful gift while I was stuck with visions of human pasts? A thought struck me, then, and I blurted it out without thinking.

"Why do you need me when you've got Jacob?" I asked Aro pointedly.

Aro's confusion was evident in his papery face. "Because, Bella, we need someone _immune_ to the Reddings' powers…"

He didn't know then. Why was Jacob keeping it from him? "But, he is immune."

Jacob stopped walking and whirled around with a stricken, hurt, betrayed face. _Him_ betrayed? Ha! Hadn't he told me he wasn't going to take me to the Volturi? And what was happening now?

Aro's eyes flickered to Jacob. "Is that true?"

After glaring at me for a moment, Jacob nodded, silently.

"Why, in God's name, didn't you tell me that?"

I listened intently, also curious to hear the answer. But Jacob merely shrugged and slumped his shoulders forward. His eyes met mine for an instant. He was trying to tell me something. But what? Not that it mattered, at this point. I wasn't ever going to trust Jacob again. The lying, sneaking, son of a…

"But how?" Aro asked, interrupting my sacrilegious thoughts.

Jake shrugged again, but answered, also. "I think because I'm part werewolf… vampire powers didn't regularly work on me when I wasn't… one of you… and I guess that got transferred over to me now that I am…"

It made sense, actually. Alice hadn't been able to see Jake in her visions and Edward had only been able to read his mind when he was in his human form.

Aro's eyes flicked from Jacob to me a few more times. I began to wildly hope that I would be free to go – that I was saved from this helpless fate. But Aro's face cracked into a grin and he simply stated, "The more the merrier!"

I let out a breath of air that I hadn't realized I was holding. This was going to be just as hard as I thought.

I raked my brain, searching madly for ideas to get away. If I just ran for it, they'd follow. If I jumped out the plane… that could work. Jacob couldn't _make_ me fly back up to it if it wasn't something I could physically do. But who's to say they wouldn't follow? And then everyone on the plane could be in danger, too. If I acted as a terrorist… no, no, then I'd be susceptible to revealing what I was.

There was no way that I could mentally assume that I was going to get out of this one. It was on to Volterra to attempt to assassinate the Reddings coven, and there was nothing I could do about it. I'll never see Edward again, I thought, and I felt the burning start at the back of my eyes.

I had to get over it. I had to push it to the back of my mind, because if I wanted to see Edward again, I had to survive in Volterra. I would have to focus all of my energy solely on killing the Reddings coven. It was the only chance, the only hope I had left.

I was only vaguely aware of my surroundings as we made our way up to the airport. And I hadn't noticed the shiny, silver Volvo sitting in a parking space that was reserved for Handicaps.

I solemnly followed Aro up to Gate number twelve, with Jacob on my heels. As we walked, Aro suddenly stopped. If I hadn't been walking as slow as I possibly could, I would have crashed right into him.

I looked around him, and I could feel my whole face light up. The Cullen family – _my_ family – had beaten us to the airport. Alice and her visions, I chuckled to myself quietly and fondly.

Aro looked on in surprise. Well? What had he expected? _Never_ underestimate the Cullens. I sprinted around Aro – a little too quickly, but no humans noticed – and threw myself into Edward's waiting arms. He held me tighter than he had ever held me before. I welcomed it, pushing my own hug back to him.

Saved! I was _saved!_ My family was here, and I was _saved._ I was too wrapped up in Edward to notice how angry the rest of the family looked.

Emmett actually looked like a Grizzly bear – his teeth were bared and his eyes flashed angrily. Rosalie looked something like a tiger, ready to pounce at Aro or Jacob, or whoever sprung first. Jasper and Esme's body language screamed wolves, ironically. It seemed as if they had their hackles raised, and Jasper was growling low enough that the humans wouldn't hear, but loud enough that we could. Alice, little pixie Alice, looked as though she were a raging lioness, the thirst for revenge burning through her usually soft eyes. And then there was Carlisle, who was looking more menacing than I had ever seen him in my life. The head of the pack, he looked like the lion – the king of the jungle. I was fairly frightened, myself, of his grudging stare. His eyes were locked with Aro's, and it seemed that they were having a wordless communication. And finally there was Edward, whom I was pressed against, looking more like a mountain lion than he had ever looked during our hunts.

"She's made her promise. She must come," were Aro's only words in response to the hateful family.

Edward's growl increased.

"You tricked her into it!" spat Emmett as his fury leaked through. "You and that _beast_," he motioned violently at Jacob.

"But she's made the oath!" Aro exclaimed, triumphantly. "She has to come, no matter what!"

Esme walked – getting dangerously close – up to Aro and hissed, "You have no hold over her." Then she wound up her hand and smacked Aro, straight across the face with all the force she could muster. It resulted in a deafening clap, and many bystanders looked over in astonishment. I looked, in shock, as Aro did nothing but smile at her, wickedly.

"Ah, Esme. You, too, will regret not joining me. Come now, Bella. Our plane is boarding."

I just stood there, looking at the crazy, old vampire as if he had two heads.

Aro simply raised an eyebrow. "No? Jacob, would you please?"

Jacob lowered his head and mumbled something that I couldn't make sense of.

"Jacob," Aro snapped, suddenly less confident then he had been a moment ago. "Make her come with us," he hissed.

Jacob looked up and met my eyes. "No," I muttered – pleaded. "Jacob, please… don't…"

His eyes were trying to tell me something. I couldn't figure it out.

"I'm sorry, Bella," he said, stepping forward to take me to Volterra.


	14. B E T R A Y A L

**WOOT! 50 review mark! Soooo, I want to thank you all for the fabulousss reviews. They're what makes the updates.**

**SO! Badr just wants to know _everything_ ;) So I guess i have to answer your question. **

**WELL! I did my research this time, and it is most certainly NOT pick-and-choose for the powers that effect Bella. Somewhere on Stephenie's website (I believe it's in the New Moon FAQ) she explains this also. The vampires that have powers that have to do with the _mind_ cannot affect Bella. She said it would be more thoroughly explained in Eclipse (!!!) so I did not try my own explanation for fear I would sound like an idiot once that's out. Alice, Jasper, and Jacob all can affect Bella because their powers don't work on the mind. Jasper effects the pulse rate and such (I don't know how he controls vampires, then. Ask Stephenie! I'm not miracle worker:-P), Alice can see what happens but not the decision making behind the choice, and Jacob's got control over the muscular build up. We clear:)**

**Okay, so. I'd like to thank... t3hg0dd355, lovelyxangel, Simply Kiwi (speaking of whom, you should totally go check out her story "Transparency," it's way too good), xabsolutionx, ridiculouskopec, Lexxi2292, leiahloa, quietandclear, b00kw0rm, You.made.me.faint, and, of course, Badr.**

**THANK YOU ALL for your lovely, encouraging reviews and your constructive criticisms. :)**

**The song for this chapter is Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World.**

**Speaking of this chapter - it's the last one. :( I wasn't planning on it being that way, but I have to. It leaves room for a sequel, and it's the falling action, you know? I'll have an epilogue, no doubt. But this is the last chapter, chapter. ...if that makes sense. And, unfortunately, it's a lot shorter than I wanted it to be. But if I kept going, it would just get dragging and boring, so I ended it in the best place I could. I hope you like it! Here it is! Chapter twelve...**

12. B E T R A Y A L

I looked in disbelief at Jacob. How could he do this to me? After everything that we'd been through, how could he be so heartless? I mean, I knew that it might not work anymore in the _physical_ sense, but I'd come to assume that Jacob wouldn't dream of hurting me like this. I stared at him with hard eyes, mentally challenging him. C'mon, I thought, do it already.

His eyes were blazing as he took another step towards me. Edward squeezed me tightly to his side. I tensed, expecting him to attack if Jacob came any closer. What I was _not_ expecting, however, was Emmett to bound forward at Jacob.

But surprised as I was, Emmett threw himself at Jake in the middle of the crowded airport and wrestled him to the ground, pinning him there in a half nelson.

"Don't you _dare_ go anywhere _near_ my sister," he threatened through his teeth.

"Emmett!" I cried, but my voice was drowned out by the crackle of the loudspeaker coming to life.

"This is the last call for anyone boarding flight seventeen-nineteen to the Newark airport in New Jersey. Please board now unless you have a later flight. Thank you for choosing Delta airlines!"

Nine heads – Alice, Esme, Carlisle, Jasper, Jacob, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward's, and my own – snapped back to Aro when he hissed, "Do it now, Jacob!"

Emmett was still forcing Jake to the ground.

"Emmett…" Edward warned. Jacob's hands had started to tremble, and people around us were staring. The last thing we needed was an explanation for why a man had turned into a wolf in the middle of the airport. Reluctantly, it seemed, Emmett backed off Jacob who stood and straightened himself out.

He glanced at me, a pleading look in his eye. _What?_ I wanted to ask. What are you trying to ask me?

When I couldn't comprehend, Jacob turned his concentrated, pleading stare at Edward, making eye contact with him for the first time I could remember. A silent word was exchanged between the two, and I felt Edward tense beside me. What in the world was going on?

"Now Jacob!" Aro snapped again.

Edward very inconspicuously leaned down and whispered in my ear, "Play along."

Play along? Did he mean _act_ like I was under Jacob's power?

And then it clicked. Everything that had happened today, all that Jacob had put me through – _was_ putting me through – it had all been a ploy. A brilliant gambit to save me. Jacob had bent over backwards for me, just so he could make me safe. I didn't know Jake's plan; I wasn't even sure if I should trust him. But if Edward could, I figured, that was reason enough for me to. I took a step forward.

"No!" Alice cried. She was about to dart forward when Edward put a hand on her shoulder and murmured something in her ear.

I took another step, and Aro's expression became complacent and smug. I felt, rather than heard, the whisper down the lane that was going on behind me as Edward shared Jacob's intentions with the rest of the Cullen family.

It felt like I was dreaming… Everything about me had a heavy, barely-there feeling as I lifted my unsure foot to take another uncertain step. I wasn't sure what would await me at the end of the path I'd chosen – the path to trust my best friend. But was he? Was Jacob my best friend, or was that all a façade, too? I didn't know, and I was still undecided as I took another slow, stiff step in his direction.

The option to flee back to the Cullens was still there. I could still turn back. But who was my betrayal to, then? Jacob, my family, or myself? Honestly, I still didn't know for sure that I could trust Jake after what he'd done to me earlier today. He, knowingly, put me through the worst pain imaginable, slicing open old wounds that had long since healed. He knew the effect it would have on me – he'd been there the last time, too. He'd been the one who'd helped me _heal_ the last time. To think he'd caused it this time sickened me. I looked at his belligerent face, trying to figure him out. I couldn't. I took another step toward him.

If I turned back now, I could doom my family and myself all over again. If Jacob had a plan that Edward had faith in, I had to have faith, too. Typically, I took another step forward.

The distance between Jacob and myself was fast closing – although it felt agonizingly slow – and he still had put no plan into action. My instincts told me to turn back, to go back to the safety of my family – of my Edward, my angel. But I fought the overbearing feeling and took another step, putting me directly in front of Jacob. He smiled at me, slightly – a sad, yet comforting gesture. His face fell back to stone as he breathed, "Follow" and turned his back on me.

It was a request, not an order. And my muscles were left to my own bidding as he began to walk to Aro. I followed promptly, not wanting to look suspicious.

Aro smiled as Jacob walked up to him – smiled fondly, like a father. "You've done well today, Jacob," a shiver ran down my spine as I realized, vaguely, that Jacob still had not done anything. "Well, I suppose we should go, then, shouldn't we?" Aro sighed. "Farewell, Cullens. I'm sure we'll be seeing each other soon enough once all this mess has been settled."

Once Aro's back was turned, I looked over my shoulder at Edward. His face was sallower than usual. A sudden, terrifying thought occurred to me – what if Edward had not trusted Jacob just now? What if, for the second time today, Jacob had used his powers and taken advantage of my trust in Edward?

I contemplated my chances at making it back to the area where the Cullens stood before Jacob or Aro missed me. They weren't good – the odds, once again, were stacked against me.

I silently cursed myself for believing in Jacob. Had I learned nothing? This new Jacob was not my own. He was something completely different that hate for himself had created. My Jacob had been taken from me – years ago. I felt the stinging sensation at the back of my eyes, again. I tried to think of a way out, tried to think of a way to communicate to the Cullens that they needed to help – now! But I was at a loss. Doomed, again. The feeling of hopelessness manipulated my senses, making me only vaguely of the fact that Jacob smelled strange, today. Then it hit me like a wrecking ball making contact with concrete. Suddenly it was blatantly obvious what his plan was – what it had been all along.

I didn't know why it hadn't hit me sooner. I didn't know why it still hadn't hit Aro. And, most of all, I didn't know _where_ Jacob was planning on doing this. Certainly not on the plane? That would be the stupidest thing he ever could have considered. The time and place to force-feed Aro a rose was _not_ on the plane. Unless… we did it right now. Before we finished boarding. On the dock. It was risky and dangerous and not foolproof, but it was all we had. And apparently, it was _exactly_ what was going through Jacob's mind.

Aro stopped walking – somehow unexpectedly and imminent at the same time. Jacob's face was concentrated as he fought Aro's own superior power. Surely this was harder than controlling Edward or me. This vampire was many millennia older than I, and his experience was greater than mine. He probably had a stronger will and brain power, and it was probably easier for him to fight off the power on his muscles when Jacob took over. I watched as a sheet of deliberation clouded Jacob's eyes and Aro turned around.

Jacob fumbled around and reached in his pocket, pulling out a slightly rumpled looking red rose and holding it blindly out towards me. I reached forward and took it as the battle over control of Aro raged between Jacob and he. Aro reached a shaking hand forward, palm up as if he were holding his hand out for something. I realized at once that Jacob had made it happen, and I placed the rose securely in the center of Aro's papery hand.

His fingers twitched over the flower, as if to pulverize it into nothing, and Jacob made a grunting noise of effort. Aro's fingers stilled. His lower jaw dropped as if he'd seen something shocking, but his eyes were curiously dead, as though Conner had hypnotized him.

We were so close I could practically hear the screams of pain that were about to emit from his foul, wretched mouth. I watched as Jacob made him raise his hand to his mouth.

That's when the real fighting started. Aro made a noise that sounded halfway between a dying cat and a squawking parrot. His hand trembled violently as it rose, closer and closer to his gaping mouth. Aro seemed to try a different approach then, trying to snap his jaw shut. But Jacob had the upper hand this time, and I watched, a triumphant smile spreading like butter across my face, as Aro's hand tipped in the rose and snapped shut.

I was sure that if Jacob could sweat, that his face would be coated in perspiration. He gasped with the exertion it took him to make Aro simply chew the flower a couple of times and then swallow it.

I almost didn't believe that he had pulled it off. I almost cried of jubilance. I also almost died if it hadn't been for Jake. As soon as the foul plant had been ingested in a way that Aro could not cough it back up, Jacob broke his concentration, grabbed my hand and whirled me around, running away from the destroyed vampire before he could take us with him. We exited the boarding dock at top speed, the flight attendant looking bewildered.

It only took a moment for the screaming to start. Aro's yells came from the dock only slightly muffled. The attendant peeked around the corner, curiously, but we had been careful to do the deed out of sight of any humans. She looked for a moment as if she was about to go in, but Jacob grabbed her arm.

"Don't… go in… there," he gasped. Her sense of foreboding got the better of her and she backed away from both the boarding dock and Jacob.

My head was spinning with the events of the last few hours. I wasn't sure if this was real or not. I played with the idea that I was still dreaming from when I was a human for a short amount of time. Dream or no dream, Edward was still waiting for me with the rest of his family. I flew to him – leapt into his waiting arms – and smothered his face with my lips, finally planting them on his own. He held me close and stroked my hair. When I finally broke myself away from his godlike mouth, I broke down. I wept onto his shoulder, letting the tears that had been locked away come streaming out like two rivers on my face. When I could control myself, Edward pulled me softly away from his shoulder so that he could look into my eyes anxiously.

"Why are you crying?"

I didn't know how to explain. It was mostly that I had just lost him, got him back, almost lost him, but then returned to him again all in one day. It was rather overwhelming, and crying had eased that tension that had built itself up on my shoulders. Instead of trying to coherently tell him that, I just smiled through my tears and shook my head.

"Bella?"

I turned. Jacob had approached me, a wistful look taking over his once benevolent features. I wasn't sure how I wanted to react right now. I still felt betrayed and abused. Jacob had known that Edward's leaving me would result in my rash, unthinking decision to go to Aro. But that's how well he knew me – he _knew_ I'd do something I would regret later. And had he not just risked everything for me now? He'd plunged for me, and, to be quite frank, I couldn't thank him enough.

Breaking away from Edward, I threw my arms around Jacob's waist – I was still unbelievably short in comparison – and whispered my thank you's over and over and over again. He wrapped his arms around me, too, and I heard something come from him that I hadn't in over a decade. Jacob let out a rumbling chuckle and it was the sweetest sound I'd ever heard.

"Don't mention it, Bells," he said, and when I looked up at him, I saw his smile – _my _smile – plastered on his face like it had never left. I'd forgotten how much I loved that smile.

Edward came forward then, and I broke away from Jake. The two looked at each other for a moment, and then Edward smiled gratefully. He held out his hand to Jake, and he took it.

"Thank you. For everything. You're always welcome in our household," Edward said cordially.

Jacob smiled. "Thanks for… trusting me. If you hadn't… well I know after everything today… Bella wouldn't've. And who knows where we'd be then?"

I smiled at the both of them. Stupid boys. I bounded forward and threw my arms around both of them, laughing and sobbing hysterically.

This was how things _always_ should have been. My best friend, my true love, and me, all happy and laughing _together._ We were still standing there when the fire alarm on the boarding dock went off.

A sheepish look at Carlisle told us that we had better go.

It was back at the Cullens that the true horror of what had just happened finally started to sink in. We had just killed Aro, the master of the Volturi; Conner, hypnotist and possible leader of the Reddings coven; and Collin, brother of Conner and other members of his coven.

"The time to panic is not now," Carlisle reassured me. "Without anyone to send word across seas, it will be a while before they are even aware of the murders that have occurred."

"They'll be expecting them back at some point! Who knows how much time we have?"

"Alice does. Alice? Would you mind keeping your eyes peeled for any vicious looking vampires coming our way?"

Alice nodded vigorously. "I won't let you down this time, Bella."

I exhaled. Okay, so I _did_ feel a little better now that Alice was looking.

"We have more pressing matters to discuss, anyway," Esme unexpectedly spoke up, her eyes shining.

I just looked at her in confusion, but Edward grinned before bending down to kiss the hollow just below my ear. The simple gesture sent a shiver down my spine, and I smiled sheepishly.

"What matter is that?" I asked, honestly confused.

Rosalie trilled a musical laugh, and Alice bounced on the balls of her feet, her eyes shining with excitement.

"Honestly, Bella, your wedding! We have to plan your wedding!" Alice laughed.

Oh. That. "Oh, man…"

"What's wrong, Bella?" Edward asked, concernedly.

"Are you getting _cold feet_, Bella?" Emmett winked. The seven Cullens and Jacob roared with laughter.

I smiled, despite myself. "How many times have you used _that_ joke?"

"And it never gets old," Emmett smiled, his eyes twinkling.

They were right. Who had time to worry about two of the most powerful vampire families coming after them with a wedding to plan? I sighed, feeling rather defeated. It was going to be a hard and messy job, getting this wedding planned and over with, but it would be so worth it in the end. Eternity with Edward. Nothing could mess that up for me. Not even some ugly white dress and my terrified father walking me down the aisle. I let out a sigh and looked around at my soon-to-be family. I'd better get planning, I thought, wanting to be a Cullen as soon as possible.

"So who's going to help me plan this thing?" I asked – as if I had to.

Alice bounced forward and threw her thin arms around my neck, squealing something along the lines of "so much fun" in my sensitive ear. I looked fearfully over at Edward, and he smiled at me knowingly. This was going to be a _long_ planning process…


	15. Not an update, I apologize

Do you guys know how happy you make me??

REALLY FREAKING HAPPY!

Thirteen reviews!! You like me! You really like me!

Okay. So I'm sorry to inform you that this is not a real update. I'm still working on the epilogue - I hope to have it up by Wednesday - and I'm still only brainstorming for the sequel. But I can guarantee you all that there WILL be a sequel - I can't leave you hanging on a thread like that with so many questions unanswered!

So expect an update in the next few days, and THANK YOU for all the amazing reviews. XD I'll do my proper thankings next update.

Safety, Love, Happiness,  
--Mel


	16. W E D D I N G

**Okay. This is it. The real, inevitable end. It's nothing earth shattering, but it's a closing point. And it hurt to write. Because I'm done! Moonrise is really, actually finished. And it makes me really sad. I'm still debating on what to call the sequel, so just keep an eye out for it, okay?**

**So, your reviews were absolutely amazing. A special thank you to i.love.oreos for getting so enthusiastic even though it was finished. :)**

**THANK YOU t3hg0d355, Simply Kiwi, XxForbiddenloversxX, lawenforcementcheetah, Monkey-en-TuTu, Badr, quietandclear, Lexxi2292, lovelyxangel, and ridiculouskopec. And thanks to those of you who were there in the beginning, too. Your support has made me really enthusiastic about this story! I hope to hear from you guys in the sequel!**

**Make sure you check out my other FanFic in the meantime, "What Would the Neighbors Think?" I'll probably update it a little more now that I'm done Moonrise.**

**And now, without further ado, the end.**

E P I L O G U E – W E D D I N G

Planning the wedding with Alice had been just as painful a process as I had anticipated it would be. For starters, she had tried to invite everyone in the little town of Forks. I had managed to coax her out of that reckless idea, but only barely. What would my high school friends think if they saw me eleven years after graduation entrapped in the body of an eighteen year old? Alice had insisted we get a wedding cake, too. The idea seemed ruthless to me – as if we needed something to rub in that we could not experience the once wonderful taste of cake. But as it was something Alice had set her heart to, I, grudgingly, agreed. At least Charlie could have some, right? Of course Alice was my maid of honor – that went without saying. The best man, on the other hand, was more difficult to place. Edward could not decide if he wanted Emmett, Jasper, or, to my great astonishment, Jacob to stand next to him as he said, "I do." In the end, he had decided that Jasper was probably his best bet – Emmett's immature humor might cause him to make rude noises during the ceremony, and Jacob could object the marriage standing so close to me.

But the absolutely most excruciating part of the entire planning process was the absurd amount of dresses that Alice had insisted I try on. We had gone from store to store, rack to rack, dress to dress… I was literally about to go insane! One moment I'd thought I'd found a perfectly suitable dress, the next Alice was ripping it off me and forcing a different one over my head. It was enough to drive anyone completely mad. Finally, to my immeasurable relief, Alice had yanked a dress over my head, stood back to take in the glory of it, and _not_ pulled it off. Her eyes shone with awe as she looked at me.

"Oh, Bella… this… this is _your_ dress."

I turned to look in the mirrors set up in front of me. I was barely able to stifle a gasp.

The gown was whiter than paper and blended with my pallid complexion almost perfectly. It wrapped tightly around my upper torso with thin spaghetti straps running over my pale shoulders. The skirt was floor length and flowed delicately around my ankles. My dark hair cascaded over my shoulders and framed my curious heart-shaped face. I was never one to be vain, but I looked really… actually… pretty. We bought the dress on the spot.

All the painful planning, all the hard labor it took to keep Alice in check, it had all come down to this. Today. It was _my_ day. Today was the day that I gave myself over to Edward, the day that I was no longer Isabella Marie Swan, but Isabella Marie _Cullen._ Mrs. Edward Cullen. Mrs. Edward Anthony Cullen. Mrs. Edward Anthony _Masen_ Cullen. I let a giggle slip out as I reviewed the many names that I was about to take on. Rosalie – who was the one doing my hair – grinned down at me.

"Excited?" She asked merrily.

"Excited does not even _begin_ to cover it," I sighed contentedly. It really didn't. I was utterly euphoric – I was in the best mood I'd been in in eleven gloomy years.

Rosalie's gaze down at me was gentle and… sisterly, dare I assume. "We all are. It's been so long since Edward's been anything but miserable. It will be good to see you two together always, now."

I considered her words, again feeling the agonizing guilt sweep over me. I'd been so unfair, not only to Edward but to the rest of his family, as well.

I pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind. Remorse was not something that I could walk up to the alter with.

"All finished!" Rosalie stated, proudly. She spun my chair around so that I could face myself in the mirror. I had to admit – the girl was good.

My dark hair had been collected into a twist at the nape of my neck, with two curls falling around my face, framing my light, butterscotch eyes. I wondered if they would change back to chocolate brown as soon as I saw Edward, as they often did. I felt a pressure on my heart, like a rope had knotted its way around the organ. I knew that meant a heartbeat was in the periphery, about to make itself known. I took a deep, calming breath to try and keep my human self at bay. The last thing I needed was to trip on my gown on my way up to Edward.

I turned to Rosalie, my eyes swimming with tears. It was my _wedding_ day! If someone had told me a year ago that I would be getting married, I would have completely disregarded their words, knowing that the only person I would ever agree to marry was Edward and he would never take me back after I'd fled from Forks. But here I was, all dolled up and nervous.

_Eternity with Edward._ The thought sent an involuntary shiver up and down my spine. It was all I'd ever wanted, and now it was here to greet me with open arms.

I thanked Rose and she turned to go prepare herself. I was left alone, staring at my somehow lovely form in the mirror. I wished there was someone else here with me. The silence was deafening. In a mere half-hour, I would leave this little room and walk down a church aisle to give myself to the only man I'd ever come to love in this world. The thought was empowering but also completely nerve-racking at the same time. Although Emmett had so lightly used the term "cold feet" about two weeks ago, the expression had more than a literal meaning for me right now.

What if, after so long, Edward decided I _wasn't_ good enough? What if he decided that he _could_ do better? What if he stopped loving me? The thought sent another shudder running down my spinal column. This one not anywhere near as invigorating as the last. I tried to push the feeling of doubt away – tried to swallow it, to stuff it in my shoes. But it cast a dwelling shadow over the light of the marriage. I tried to convince myself, then. No, Edward loves me just as much as I love him. But I didn't convince myself.

I was starting to hyperventilate when a soft knocking came from the other side of the door. I rushed to answer it, eager for some company to keep these thoughts from running through my head. I half expected Alice to bound through the open door, but I was mistaken. Jacob stood somberly, dressed in a tuxedo, leaning against the doorframe. Something about my face made him grin – still my grin – welcomingly, and I threw my arms around his waist.

"Well, there's the blushing bride. Not to be taken in the literal sense. Anymore, at least…"

I let out a slightly hysterical laugh, and Jacob looked at me concernedly. "Hey… Bells… are you… are you feeling alright?"

"Of course!" I exclaimed, a little too loudly, "Why wouldn't I be?" I attempted to let out another nonchalant chuckle, but it came out strangled and sounded like a cat that just got thrown into a swimming pool.

"Bella…?" Jacob said slowly, his eyes wide with concern for my mental well-being.

"Oh, Jake!" I cried, giving into the hysteria that had been threatening me since Rosalie left. "What am I doing?" Something in his face twitched. I decided that Jacob was probably the wrong person to ask to convince me to marry Edward Cullen, but I rambled on anyway. "He couldn't possibly… he _won't_ love me forever. He'll realize sooner or later that I'm not good enough for him or his family. He'll realize he could do better… he'll realize I'm not the one…" Even saying the words, I felt foolish. Some rational part of my mind began to argue with me.

Of _course_ Edward would love me forever. There was no spec of doubt about that. Nothing I did or said could make him love me any less. I was being utterly unreasonable. Jacob seemed to think the same way.

"Bella… Anyone with eyes can see how infatuated that guy is with you," it seemed to cause Jacob some unseen pain to admit this to himself. "And it's… it's obvious you feel the… the same." He sniffed. "It's like you were… meant to be. From the very beginning. It's like… I don't know. Fate, or destiny or whatever…"

Something clicked between the irrational part of my brain and the sensible component. _Jacob_ was saying this. Intransigent, old Jacob. Jacob, the one who loves me, was admitting that Edward and I were made for each other. The gears started working furiously in my brain, and I finally calmed down enough to look up at Jake's face and calculate his reaction to his own words.

His eyes were pained – agonized – and his mouth was turned deliberately down at the corners. Other than those two sticking points, Jacob's true regards about Edward's and my relationship were invisible. His face showed no sign of not wanting us to be happy together.

"Thanks, Jake," I said, holding him more tightly.

"Don't… don't mention it, Bells. But, um, you should get changed and stuff. The ceremony will start soon. Uh… see you," he said, turning to go.

"Jake!" I couldn't let him go with the memory of those eyes wailing at me and try to be cheerful while I was saying the "I do's."

He turned, and, before I'd completely made up my mind to do so, I perched myself on the very tips of my toes and planted a cold kiss on his warm cheek. "Thanks. For everything."

His eyes met mine, and I could see the anguish was just a shadow now.

"You're really, really welcome, Bells," he said before grinning widely at me and turning to go into the church.

I sighed, closing the door after him. I probably shouldn't have done that. It might give him the wrong idea.

But there was really not much time to dwell on it. Because this was it. This was really it. I took as much time as I dared changing into my dress, careful to slip it on without mussing my hair or tearing the material. I slipped on the heels that Alice had found to match the dress. The same hue of white as the gown, the sandals were strappy and Italian leather. I would kill Alice for how much she spent on me later – after I enjoyed the temporary height.

I waited for a few more minutes, still transfixed by my unusually breathtaking appearance, before a soft knock told me Charlie was waiting for me at the door. Taking a deep breath, I stood and crossed the room to open the door and face my father.

Charlie was nervous; anyone could see that. But some of his paternal instincts seemed to kick in as we walked to the church doors together.

"You sure this is what you want, Bella?" He said, his voice trembling slightly.

I smiled, making sure to keep my teeth behind my lips, and muttered, "Positive, Dad. Thanks for being here."

Charlie patted my hand, which was hooked on his elbow, with his and said, "I had to be here. It's my little girl's wedding, after all." He plastered a reassuring smile on his face and winked. I could feel the tears already starting to brim my eyes, and we hadn't even entered the church!

The organ started to play the familiar "Here Comes the Bride" tune, and Charlie opened the door for me to step through the church and meet my knight in shining armor.

Edward stood at the alter, gazing down the aisle, letting his eyes appraise me in my beautiful gown. I didn't even take notice of who was in the pews, or the priest, or anyone else. I was only eyes for Edward.

I didn't even pay attention to the tempo of the song as I practically ran down the walkway to my aficionado. He flashed me his crooked grin.

When I finally reached the end of the aisle, I looked deeply into Edward's eyes, and he looked back into mine. I was only vaguely aware of the priest's mumbling, as I stood there, fixated on the topaz eyes looking back at me.

And in that moment, everything was all right. I had Edward and Edward had me. There was nothing else that we needed. What did it matter if the Reddings coven and the Volturi came looking for me? What did it matter if Jacob was still besotted with me and I'd just kissed him, even if it was as harmless as on the cheek? What did it matter? In that precise moment, it didn't.

It seemed only an instant later that Edward spoke the two syllables.

"I do." The resounding words seemed to echo throughout the church.

This snapped me out of my small daze, and so I was not caught unawares when the priest asked, "And do you, Isabella Marie Swan, take Edward Anthony Cullen to be your lawfully wedded husband, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish until death do you part?" I couldn't hold back the smile that cracked across my face as Edward had at the last part.

"I do."

"Then I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

The statement was barely finished before Edward's lips had attacked mine. This kiss was so familiar and yet, so different. This kiss said something. It said, "Forever."

I lost myself in it, unaware that my biological father was watching anymore. Unaware that my new family was watching, that Jacob was watching, that the Cullen's friends were watching. I was lost in Edward's lips, and when we finally parted, he whispered, "Forever."


	17. Sequel Information

**Well, hello again!**

**I have come to a decision on the title of the sequel, for those of you who are intereted.**

**The title of the sequel will be - drumroll please?**

_**Midnight**_

**So keep a lookout for it. I hope to start it before the end of the week - I am nearing the end of the brainstorming phase and will start writing soon.**

**Thanks again for all the amazing reviews, and keep an eye out for _Midnight! _**

**Safety, love, happiness,  
--Mel**


	18. Cast Listings Up

**Hello again!**

**It's really awesome that Moonrise is still getting reviews - even though I'm done!**

**I just wanted to let everyone know that I have the casting list that I would use for my characters up in my profile, so if you'd like to take a gander at that, it's there. XD**

**I'm still really excited that so many of you like my writing. It's a new thing for me - to have fans. It's AMAZING. I'm very grateful. :)**

**Don't forget to check out that sequel, Midnight, foolios! XD**

**Safety, love, happiness,  
Mel**


	19. Goodbye to You

Hello, anyone who's reading.

I have come to say an official farewell. Twilight Fanfiction was my world for a good amount of time. I gathered fans and readers and a lot of positive feedback, and it was an eye opener for me. Because of this website and Twilight in general, I know now that I want to be a writer. In the fall, I will be attending Susquehanna University as a creative writing major - pursuing my dreams, something I never thought I'd end up doing. There will always, always be a special place in my heart for Twilight, but it's been time to move on...for a long time. I will not be completing Hero or What Would the Neighbors Think? because I do not have enough interest in them anymore. I thoroughly enjoyed my time here, and everyone has been incredibly kind. My sincerest thanks to all of you - without your eager reviews, who knows where I'd be? I will still read fanfiction and review your stories, but updating (as you may have noticed) will not be happening anymore.

If you are ever in the mood to say hello or even if you liked my writing enough (which is hard to believe, haha. Looking back on these stories is a trip - they're _absurd!_) I ask you to swing by my FictionPress account or my Mibba account. If you get to know me, I may even offer my MySpace URL. For now, though, I ask you look at my bio for the links to the websites where I will post my original works.

Thank you again, everyone. It's been so fun.

I adore you all,  
Mel.


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